Archive: 14 posts

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If you've been around long enough to remember me, then you probably know I suddenly left LBPCentral (https://lbpcentral.lbp-hub.com/index.php?t=71995-Administration-Transition) in mid-2012. Many of you now know why, but to reiterate: I left to work for Sony as a Community Coordinator for LBP Karting. (You can verify this - my name, Michael Buffaloe, is in the LBPK credits.) Due to NDAs I had signed, I couldn't give any details about what was happening. Eventually everyone found out of course, but there was a ton that happened afterward that probably didn't make sense. I came back here for a while, then disappeared again without explanation. I let the domain expire and forced the remaining community to struggle to get things running again. I did none of this intentionally, but it was still a selfish and disrespectful way to leave. Given all of that, I want to at least share my story. I know it doesn't make up for everything - I just think the LBPC community deserves some answers. Fair warning, this is a long story. Here it is: -------------------------------------------------- Around April 2012, I was invited to apply for the Community Coordinator role for LBP Karting. I spent my entire childhood wanting to work in the games industry, so even though I wasn't particularly excited about the game itself, the opportunity was one I couldn't pass up. I applied, was accepted, then dropped out of college to take the role. I worked as a contractor at Sony for 9 months. At first it was exciting and highly motivating. I was connecting with the community, helping manage the beta, conveying fans' wants and needs to the development team -- among lots of other responsibilities. I was essentially the internal representative of the LBPK community. It used all the skills I had developed over the course of managing LBPCentral and, since the community already knew and trusted me, my job was made much easier than it would have been otherwise. I couldn't have asked for a better entry point into the industry. Eventually, however, the reality of the situation started to sink in. LBP Karting did not have a significant budget and Sony did not plan on supporting it for very long, so I had minimal impact on internal decisions. It wasn't long before I was nothing but a "reporter" - delivering regular reports about the community to the dev team but not actually being listened to. It didn't help that most of the development team had no real interest in the game. Many of the producers often complained about having to work on it. Some even hated making games in general. Not kidding. So, you can imagine that my naive optimism and passion for the industry began to fade. I had always dreamed of working in the industry, but now I was realizing that dreams and reality are often very different. An important lesson, looking back. Anyway, that didn't make my job any less important to me. I knew I still had a responsibility to the LBPK community. So I kept working hard, making the best of the situation I was in. My rationale was that this was just a stepping stone. I'd make my way to something better after this. So, I kept working 10 hour days (plus working from home and weekends) because I believed in what I was doing. The, one Monday morning in Spring of 2013, I was told, with no explanation, that I was being laid off on Friday. That's right: I had five days to sort out how I was going to live without this income. I had made commitments: my lease, bills I was paying, all kinds of things. Yes, I was paid unemployment for twelve months afterward, but that's only a small percentage of what I made. Enough to survive, but barely, and with no insurance of any kind. I had to take out loans and break my lease early. I ended up saddled with both medical and personal debt, which I am still working to pay off. Almost immediately after being laid off I started making contact with trusted colleagues. James Spafford (the original LBP Community Manager), for example. In my discussions with them I learned that this experience is common in the games industry and didn't reflect the quality of my work. It simply comes down to money: when they don't need you, they drop you. I should keep trying, they told me - I shouldn't give up on Community Management because of this experience. So, I kept searching for new work. I applied to every game dev studio I could find, even those not looking for Community professionals. I had recommendations from James and other colleagues, which I expected would help my chances. In the meantime, I tried to get back into helping with LBPCentral. I thought it might help me cope with being unemployed, as well as keep my skills relatively sharp. However, something happened shortly afterward that I could never have predicted. I met a girl. We fell in crazy stupid love. It was like nothing I had ever experienced. I'd thought I had loved a girl before, but I was wrong. That's what love actually is. It was downright amazing and we ended up living together. Of course, I continued applying for Community work. I was in love, granted, but I knew it wouldn't last if I didn't find another job. However, every time I heard back from an employer, I was told the same thing: I didn't have enough Community experience to qualify. I had only one professional job under my belt, and for less than a year, so nobody wanted to take the risk. I was consistently unsuccessful in finding new work and so, eventually, my unemployment ran out. This meant I couldn't afford to spend my time applying for Community work. I needed a regular job, quickly. This is also when I went completely dark. I ignored everything from my life with LBPCentral. As mentioned, I unintentionally let the domains expire and was unavailable for questions etc from the new LBPC management. I essentially left the entire site to fend for itself. I made new email accounts, stopped using social media, and basically fell off the grid. My rationale at the time was that I couldn't afford to dedicate any time to it, but the truth was that I just resented what had happened. The way I saw it, I had chased my dreams and utterly failed. LBPC was just a reminder of that fact. In time, I've realized that it was simply selfish and disrespectful - both to myself and to all the people who ever loved LBPC. This is why I'm here writing this. It in no way makes up for what I did, but I'd at least like to own up to my poor decisions. Anyway, back to the story. About a year into my new relationship, I finally found a job. It had nothing to do with games or anything else I was passionate about, but it was a job that paid consistently that wasn't going away - more than I could say for Community work. So, I kept it. However, it paid even less than what I was earning through unemployment, so my girlfriend and I could no longer afford to live together. We tried to make things work but to no avail - things fell apart, and I had to move back in with my family in order to survive financially. Of course, I was devastated. In the span of two years I had lost both my passion for working in games and my first real love. I spent the first year afterward incredibly depressed. I felt as if I had lost all purpose. I was even semi-suicidal for a little while. My only solace was my work - I didn't lose my job in the process of moving because thankfully it was remote work. After my downward spiral, I eventually rebuilt myself, using my mistakes to guide me. I no longer have a desire to work in the games industry, Community work or otherwise. I'm much happier working an unrelated job and just being a hardcore fan of the industry. I have insurance again and make enough to afford my lifestyle. I learned a lot about relationships and how to make them work. I'm slowly paying off those debts I mentioned. I'm much more mentally and emotionally mature than I used to be, and generally much happier than I ever was. So, despite all the pain and craziness, things actually worked out for the best. Life is weird. -------------------------------------------------- So, that's the story. Even though I'm happier not doing Community work, I do not regret my time with LBPC and its community, nor do I regret taking a shot at my personal dream. Very few people have that opportunity, and I have this community to thank. You guys are the reason I was lucky enough to have those experiences, and I will never forget it. I don't expect forgiveness for the selfish decisions I made, but you at least deserve to know what happened. Hopefully this helped. As mentioned in the title, this is likely my last post here at LBPC. My life is taking me in new directions, so I will actually be gone for good after this. Again, thank you to everyone who made my time here possible. You guys were always the best.

2016-10-27 00:19:00 Author: ConfusedCartman Posts: 3729

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Thanks for sharing... Glad to see you are alive. Can't say I enjoyed your dark times... especially since it hurt us so badly, besides frustrating me personally for many months trying to get you to respond so we could renew the domain. However, I do forgive you and happy you visited us to tell us what all happened. The time you did manage the site, you helped many people become better. I will credit you for that. ...and just leave it at that.

2016-10-27 00:57:00 Author: jwwphotos Posts: 11383

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I have no clue who you are. But either way, this a very interesting backstory about something that happened when I wasn't even on this site. I hope you enjoy your new job, and that it pays well. Seeing as I wasn't around during the times you were here or what's known as 'the dark times' I can't really say much other than that. Sorry.

2016-10-27 07:53:00 Author: Sir monacle Posts: 4155

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https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/Bftp3yhWlRmGMVMo0XHm1wVWCsCPSRLvDEL-ORElyeKIjRxHnq6heHAsJuhetGnLmQuFMCG6nMEwooY=w1280-h855 Thank you for bringing us up to speed with everything. I kinda suspected something similar with being let go from the Karting gig. Just know that you're not a failure for chasing your dreams. You are if you don't. I can't say that it's excusable how you left us to flounder but it is forgivable and I can understand where you were coming from. You haven't mentioned returning to school. Go back to school! Good to see that you are alive and kicking and all is well. Good luck out there man.

2016-10-27 17:07:00 Author: biorogue Posts: 8424

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I totally know where you're coming from. I'm right in the middle of my rock bottom at the moment too. So sad to go through an experience like that. I know you will do great things still. It's who you are. �� I'm always around if you want to chat.

2016-10-29 21:00:00 Author: Morgana25 Posts: 5983

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This might sound harsh but really it's not I don't really care you always wanted to work in gaming industries and your dream came true keep on working there don't worry about us just do your amazing job! 2016 quote of the year: Working at Sony is your personal royalty pin

2016-10-30 13:12:00 Author: Juyytr55t56y Posts: 28

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This might sound harsh but really it's not I don't really care you always wanted to work in gaming industries and your dream came true keep on working there don't worry about us just do your amazing job! 2016 quote of the year: Working at Sony is your personal royalty pin Maybe you missed a few parts... he was laid off and not doing community work for Sony any longer. Actually for over 3 years. I really feel bad for him. My original post may not have shown that, but I have to admit I was a but stunned to see him show up after all this time. Glad he is ok and wish him the best. The gaming industry can be quite cruel.

2016-10-30 15:34:00 Author: jwwphotos Posts: 11383

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Maybe you missed a few parts... he was laid off and not doing community work for Sony any longer. Actually for over 3 years. I really feel bad for him. My original post may not have shown that, but I have to admit I was a but stunned to see him show up after all this time. Glad he is ok and wish him the best. The gaming industry can be quite cruel. I agree. And sadly it was Sony's fault that LBP3 had to get rushed to the extent that it was. If only the game, was postponed to 2015(maybe summer or holiday 2015), so that Sumo could conduct several, extended BETA tests, then we would see a much more completed game. They could have also made the choice of limiting LBP3 to PS4 only, that way online would be much more stable. Speaking of which, the HUGEST problem with LBP3's initial release WAS the purge of the online. No one could connect to anyone, regardless of whether you were playing on PS3 or 4(releasing the game on 2 consoles really hurt the experience, unfortunately). So overall, as amazing as LBP3, it was just small,poor business choices that ruined the entire experience .

2016-10-30 18:23:00 Author: gurren009 Posts: 2592

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This is my first time connecting to this site in years. I only talked to you a little bit before you became community manager, but **** am I proud of you for trying. LBPK was not an easy thing to take the reigns on (as you obviously note) and you shouldn't feel like you failed the community at all for what you tried to do seeing as you were the only one who seemed to care. I always heard that community jobs were some of the hardest to work through because most become a talking piece but I'm glad you survived through it and find stable work. Thank you for giving us and explanation, you didn't need to ask most of us understood what was happening. Please, if you use any new social media account, please let me know. I would love to keep in contact with you man.

2016-11-01 20:51:00 Author: acdramon Posts: 332

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Oh wow... that explains why LBPcentral was down for a while a few times. o: Well, glad you opened up to us. Very interesting story o: I do remember interacting with you, you were a pretty chill person. One of my most vivid memories was when you gifted me Portal 2 on Steam (thank you so much for that!). I wish you the best of luck in your future endeavors.

2016-11-01 21:08:00 Author: madmarsrocks Posts: 83

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You're a good man Cartman. Way back when, you kept this site running strong and helped make it what it was (along with the community here). I'm sorry to hear about what happened. Shame about the AAA game industry, I've heard other distressing stories like yours. Devs working 80 hours a week, unexpected layoffs...just terrible things. It's not like that everywhere but unfortunately it seems to be the norm. I'm glad to hear you are doing better now.

2016-11-02 06:40:00 Author: warlord_evil Posts: 4193

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Hi there. It's good to hear from you and to know that things are fine again. I can't blame you for what happened, I've been in a very similar situation quite recently. I'm pretty sure I understand exactly what happened. I've been there, being in a situation where I just want to ignore everything and everyone. It sucks this all had to happen, but I forgive you and I understand. I can't really remember if I was active on LBPC anymore before it went down, but I certainly wasn't when it was resurrected. This has nothing to do with the site, really. Life happens, I went through conscription and started studying. Suddenly there was no time for LBP. I haven't turned on my PS3 for gaming in a long time and I haven't touched LBP3 or any other LBP-games after LBP2. Sometimes I get an itch to go back and create but I know it wouldn't be the same anymore. Occasionally I post on LBPC but quite rarely. I'm still around, alive and well, trying to find my place in life. I think LBP is still the game I've played the most, I've built friendships through LBPC that will hopefully last a lifetime (although I don't keep much contact, sorry guys. You know who you are). So yeah, thank you for everything you've done for LBPC and good luck for whatever it is you plan to do. EDIT: I found this post by me, written in 2013 (https://lbpcentral.lbp-hub.com/index.php?t=80444-Where-is-everyone&p=1118049#post1118049). I'm a bit amazed I wrote it. It's not really relevant to to the whole LBPC going down for a while but it's a good read about the whole situation around LBP and LBPC.

2016-11-13 17:12:00 Author: napero7 Posts: 1653

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Hi there. It's good to hear from you and to know that things are fine again. I can't blame you for what happened, I've been in a very similar situation quite recently. I'm pretty sure I understand exactly what happened. I've been there, being in a situation where I just want to ignore everything and everyone. It sucks this all had to happen, but I forgive you and I understand. I can't really remember if I was active on LBPC anymore before it went down, but I certainly wasn't when it was resurrected. This has nothing to do with the site, really. Life happens, I went through conscription and started studying. Suddenly there was no time for LBP. I haven't turned on my PS3 for gaming in a long time and I haven't touched LBP3 or any other LBP-games after LBP2. Sometimes I get an itch to go back and create but I know it wouldn't be the same anymore. Occasionally I post on LBPC but quite rarely. I'm still around, alive and well, trying to find my place in life. I think LBP is still the game I've played the most, I've built friendships through LBPC that will hopefully last a lifetime (although I don't keep much contact, sorry guys. You know who you are). So yeah, thank you for everything you've done for LBPC and good luck for whatever it is you plan to do. EDIT: I found this post by me, written in 2013 (https://lbpcentral.lbp-hub.com/index.php?t=80444-Where-is-everyone&p=1118049#post1118049). I'm a amazed I wrote it. It's not really relevant to to the whole LBPC going down for a while but it's a good read about the whole situation around LBP and LBPC. It's great to hear from you! I came here a bit later(like way in November 2014 when LBP3 was coming out). Yeah, it sucked when LBPC when down, but it was amazing how many of us came back to rebuild the site. It was kind of like a fresh start! That post you made in 2013 is really good, and yeah, 2013 - early 2014 was when LBP was kind of dying, so it was fantastic that Sumo brought it back E3 2014! As for LBP's current state, it's still doing fine. It's not as active as before, but the community is still creating levels, and Sumo is still occasionally making costume, level, and material packs! LBP3 is still worth a go though , even though admittedly it is kind of dead at this point

2016-11-13 20:32:00 Author: gurren009 Posts: 2592

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This is how life works. You have some nice years in your life and than everything gets harder. At the end you look into a mirror. You will ask yourself, why it ends like this. I don't know you very well, but still I wish you good luck in your life. LBP is not dead. It's smaller, but not dead. We can sit here. Talk. Is LBP dead? Or not. Well, we could also do something to keep this whole thing alive.

2016-11-20 09:55:00 Author: mdkd99 Posts: 1172

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