Archive: 48 posts

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have a joke? say it here and let everyone laugh i never know that this would be this famous i thought it will be about only 2 or 3 posts also everyonepost more and more jokes even if you think they are funny there are 3 things why first to let users see it faster second if soomeone had a rough day he would forget all about it and thrid is if someone is bored or anything entertain him to encourage him to be more active and not to be lazy ok thats all

2009-01-25 14:43:00 Author: abody Posts: 16

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oh well heres an old joke to encourage you why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side

2009-01-25 14:46:00 Author: abody Posts: 16

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra... Dont double post. Edit that "joke" into your first post.

2009-01-25 14:47:00 Author: moleynator Posts: 2914

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your welcome

2009-01-25 14:47:00 Author: abody Posts: 16

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The joke that caused my insanity: Homer: Ah, 20 dollars! I wanted a peanut! Homer's Brain: 20 dollars can buy you MANY peanuts! Homer: Explain how. Homer's Brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services. Homer: WOOHOO!

2009-01-25 14:47:00 Author: RockSauron Posts: 10882

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your welcome For what? Have you read the rules?

2009-01-25 14:49:00 Author: moleynator Posts: 2914

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sorry moley i seen your some kind of sig and thought that was the post and nice joke rock

2009-01-25 14:49:00 Author: abody Posts: 16

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For what? Have you read the rules? Apparrently they're relaxing the rules about double posting, but meh.

2009-01-25 14:49:00 Author: RockSauron Posts: 10882

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sorry moley i seen your some kind of sig and thought that was the post and nice joke rock Oh... Thats ok then. :hero:

2009-01-25 14:51:00 Author: moleynator Posts: 2914

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heres a joke theres a man walking on the side walk he needed to get to the other side but there was just too many cars he thought of how to get rid of them first he thought to pull the lights off second he thought of destroying the cars then a kid came by and told him just wait for 5 secs its alwas like that you just need to wait 5 secs

2009-01-25 14:54:00 Author: abody Posts: 16

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i know i just left the second joke somewher moley did you delete it?

2009-01-25 14:56:00 Author: abody Posts: 16

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heres a joke theres a man walking on the side walk he needed to get to the other side but there was just too many cars he thought of how to get rid of them first he thought to pull the lights off second he thought of destroying the cars then a kid came by and told him just wait for 5 secs its alwas like that you just need to wait 5 secs I dont really understand that. Put in some punctuation and it might be a bit more decipherable. EDIT: You double posted again... I also dont know what you are talking about there.

2009-01-25 14:57:00 Author: moleynator Posts: 2914

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ok heres a joke about pikachu why is pikachu alwas sick? cause he is pikaCHU get it?

2009-01-25 14:59:00 Author: abody Posts: 16

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ok heres a joke about pikachu why is pikachu alwas sick? cause he is pikACHU get it? Very good... How do you get pikachu and squirtle on a bus? You poke-em-on.

2009-01-25 15:01:00 Author: moleynator Posts: 2914

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Very good... How do you get pikachu and squirtle on a bus? You poke-em-on. lol thats a very very funny joke

2009-01-25 15:03:00 Author: abody Posts: 16

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I couple goes on restaurant, and they see a man eating a HUGE piece of meat. They ask the chef "Hello, could you tell us what that man is eating?" "Of course! He's eating our main dinner, only available once a week and directly from Spain." "We see, can we order a seat for next week?" "Of course!" *NEXT WEEK* the couple goes inside and take their seat. The waiter brings them a tiny piece of meat. "ur....why don't we get that huge piece of meat?" "I don't know" says the waiter "I'll call in the chef" *chef arrives* "What's the problem?" the couple says "Well, how come we get this tiny thing and last week the other guy got a huge piece of meat?" the chef answers : "well...you see...it's not always the bull that loses"

2009-01-25 15:41:00 Author: oldage Posts: 2824

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I couple goes on restaurant, and they see a man eating a HUGE piece of meat. They ask the chef "Hello, could you tell us what that man is eating?" "Of course! He's eating our main dinner, only available once a week and directly from Spain." "We see, can we order a seat for next week?" "Of course!" *NEXT WEEK* the couple goes inside and take their seat. The waiter brings them a tiny piece of meat. "ur....why don't we get that huge piece of meat?" "I don't know" says the waiter "I'll call in the chef" *chef arrives* "What's the problem?" the couple says "Well, how come we get this tiny thing and last week the other guy got a huge piece of meat?" the chef answers : "well...you see...it's not always the bull that loses" good joke its good and is hilarios

2009-01-25 15:43:00 Author: abody Posts: 16

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They eat the humanz? Oh noez! Q: Where do you find a no-legged dog? A: Right where you left him.

2009-01-25 15:46:00 Author: moleynator Posts: 2914

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They eat the humanz? Oh noez! Q: Where do you find a no-legged dog? A: Right where you left him. lol i dont know why your jokes are alwas so funny

2009-01-25 15:47:00 Author: abody Posts: 16

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This is the worst joke I ever thought up. Why is FF6 afraid of FF7? Because 7 8(ate) 9.

2009-01-25 16:32:00 Author: LittleBigPlanetFan Posts: 58

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This is the worst joke I ever thought up. Why is FF6 afraid of FF7? Because 7 8(ate) 9. good joke its very good

2009-01-25 17:10:00 Author: abody Posts: 16

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just to tell everyone this is the first post that haves that haves a joke tag here which means this is the only post your joke here thing

2009-01-25 17:14:00 Author: abody Posts: 16

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Dont double post.Just use the "edit it" button.

2009-01-25 17:18:00 Author: LittleBigPlanetFan Posts: 58

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Dont double post.Just use the "edit it" button. I dont think it matters any more... According to CC and QuozL.

2009-01-25 17:25:00 Author: moleynator Posts: 2914

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Ok i am breaking away from the standard. I am going with one of those longer jokes so brace yourselves. On a famous cruis ship there was a magician. He had one of the best acts in the world and he astounded audiences every night. About a week ago a parot was given to him as a gift. But this parot would be out in the audiance and scream out all of his tricks. "RAAAAAWK, he is putting it up his sleeve!" "RAAAAAAWK, there is a trap door!" "RAAAAAAWK, he put it under his hat!" "RAAAAAWK, there is a second person in the box!" And this went on throughout the entire show for about an entire week. So one day the magician completely flips out. He pulls out a pistol, aims for the parot, and fires. The bullet misses the parot instead hits a propane tank, which causes a bunch of explosions that caused the entire ship to blow up. Of course the only two survivors are the magician and the parrot. The parrot then says,"Ok, you got me! where did you put the ship!" LOLZ one of my favorites thats for sure, it sounds better when you say it though. Cheers!

2009-01-25 17:29:00 Author: RAINFIRE Posts: 1101

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What's a pirate's favorite letter? "P" Because it's an ARRRRR with a leg missing.

2009-01-25 17:45:00 Author: flakmagnet Posts: 1084

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"A woman walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a double entendre, so he gives her one" That is my personal favorite joke of all time, pity 90% of people dont get it -.-

2009-01-25 18:18:00 Author: Mrgenji Posts: 803

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Reading abody's posts make me giggle. I liked the dyslexic man and Homer joke tho. =]

2009-01-25 18:30:00 Author: BobMarley Posts: 260

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I have a joke! There's a cat, a hot dog, and a bartender. The cat says to the bartender "Hey bud want me to scratch you face off?" The bartender said no and then proceeded to eat the hot dog. The cat got embarrassed for being stupid and then went to Link's house. Link was sleeping so the cat ate Navi and this made Link mad and he kicked the cat but the cat just listened to some Iron Maiden because the cat thinks they're a good alien planet so I adopted a kitty. ...lol. "A woman walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a double entendre, so he gives her one" That is my personal favorite joke of all time, pity 90% of people dont get it -.- Definition of double entendre: a word or expression capable of two interpretations with one usually risqu? Yet I still don't get it.

2009-01-25 18:45:00 Author: qrtda235566 Posts: 3664

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I have a joke! There's a cat, a hot dog, and a bartender. The cat says to the bartender "Hey bud want me to scratch you face off?" The bartender said no and then proceeded to eat the hot dog. The cat got embarrassed for being stupid and then went to Link's house. Link was sleeping so the cat ate Navi and this made Link mad and he kicked the cat but the cat just listened to some Iron Maiden because the cat thinks they're a good game so I adopted a kitty. ...lol. Must admit, I ACTUALLY loled .

2009-01-25 18:47:00 Author: RockSauron Posts: 10882

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"A woman walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a double entendre, so he gives her one" That is my personal favorite joke of all time, pity 90% of people dont get it -.- It's in the 'double' and 'one' right?

2009-01-25 19:32:00 Author: Yarbone Posts: 3036

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I dont think it matters any more... According to CC and QuozL. wait we are allowed double post now? cool i guess

2009-01-25 20:10:00 Author: Don Vhalt Posts: 2270

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"A woman walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a double entendre, so he gives her one" That is my personal favorite joke of all time, pity 90% of people dont get it -.- lol i get it at first i did not but now i did

2009-01-25 20:12:00 Author: abody Posts: 16

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"A woman walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a double entendre, so he gives her one" That is my personal favorite joke of all time, pity 90% of people dont get it -.- Being the undisputed master of Double Entendres, I got it. I am York's answer to the Todd or Tucker (Red vs Blue reference for the 3 of you here that watch it), except I was here first. Also, Bow Chicka Bow Wow. Anyway: Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. And there are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my dad. Or my older brother Colin. Or my younger brother Ho-Chau-Chou. But I think it's Colin. --- So I was in my car, and I was driving along, and my boss rang up, and he said, 'You've been promoted. 'And I swerved. And then he rang up a second time and said, 'You've been promoted again. 'And I swerved again. He rang up a third time and said, 'you're managing director. 'And I went into a tree. And a policeman came up and said, ' What happened to you?' And I said, 'I careered off the road.

2009-01-26 07:47:00 Author: flakmagnet Posts: 1084

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A man, and a giraffe walk into a bar. The giraffe gets completely wasted, and falls on the ground. The man decides to leave, but before he leaves the bartender says... "Hey! You can't leave that lyin' in here!" The man giggles and replies, "That's not a lion! That's a giraffe!" -------------------------- Omg, I love telling lame jokes, it actually makes me laugh... Everyone gets it right? You're basically suppose to see the word "lyin" as lion... Meh, I guess you get it.

2009-01-26 08:41:00 Author: Whalio Cappuccino Posts: 5250

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Lil whaale... a peanut says to another peanut, is it hot out here or is it just me well you are a roasted peanut.... *leaves while having tomatoes th rowen at him* i made that up, off the top of my head xD,

2009-01-26 10:48:00 Author: Thee-Flash Posts: 3154

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You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine'. So that was nice. I blind man walks into a shop and starts swinging his dog around. The owner comes up and asks if everything is okay, and the blind man replies 'just looking' A woman told her doctor, 'I've got a bad back. 'The doctor said, 'It's old age. 'The woman said, 'I want a second opinion. 'The doctor says, 'OK. you're ugly as well. ' A man walked into the doctor's, he said 'I've hurt my arm in several places' The doctor said 'well don't go there any more'. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any. Now, most dentist's chairs go up and down, don't they? The one I was in went back and forwards. I thought ' This is unusual' . And the dentist said to me ' Mr Bishop, get out of the filing cabinet. ' 'Doc, I can't stop singing the green green grass of home.' 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome.' 'Is it common?' 'It's not unusual.' I went into a butchers and I said, 'I'll have a pound of sausages. 'He said, 'I'm very sorry, sir, we only serve kilos in here. 'I said, 'Okay then I'll have a pound of kilos.' A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet. 'My dog's cross-eyed, is there anything you can do for him? 'Well, 'says the vet, 'let's have a look at him' so he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then checks his teeth. Finally, he says; 'I'm going to have to put him down.' 'What? Because he's cross-eyed?' 'No, because he's really heavy' I went up into the attic and found a Stradivarius and a Rembrandt. Unfortunately Stradivarius was a terrible painter and Rembrandt made lousy violins. I've always been unlucky. I had a rocking horse once, and it died. I hurt my back the other day. I was playing piggy back with my 6 year old nephew, and I fell off. "So I went down my local ice-cream shop, and said 'I want to buy an ice-cream'. He said Hundreds & thousands?' I said 'We'll start with one.' He said 'Knickerbocker glory?' I said 'I do get a certain amount of freedom in these trousers, yes.' A man walked into the doctors, The doctor said " I haven't seen you in a long time " The man replied "I know I've been ill" Two elephants walk off a cliff...... boom boom! So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me "Can you give me a lift?" I said "Sure, you look great, the world's your oyster, go for it.' A man came round in hospital after a serious accident. He shouted, "Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied, "I know you can't, I had to amputate your arms" Ah, i love Tommy Cooper. They're my fave ones.

2009-01-26 16:51:00 Author: ryryryan Posts: 3767

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra... Greek theif!

2009-01-26 17:08:00 Author: Pinchanzee Posts: 805

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I woke up last night to a noise in my garden, I looked outside and saw some man stealing my gate! I was going to say something but he might take a-fence *rimshot*

2009-01-26 19:33:00 Author: Mrgenji Posts: 803

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Once upon a time, a magical snake just wanted to be a wood chip. He set off on a card factory to destroy the time continuum but got hit in the face with a snow globe. The snow globe exploded causing the universe to do absolutely nothing. Then I watched a video in science about the end of the universe, but at the end they found out that they were all wrong.

2009-01-26 20:26:00 Author: qrtda235566 Posts: 3664

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Greek theif! :/ I seriously dont know what you are talking about. I walked into the butchers the other day and I said, "I bet you a tenner that you cant reach the meat on the top shelf." The butcher said, "Im sorry sir, the steaks are too high!"

2009-01-26 23:40:00 Author: moleynator Posts: 2914

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Questuon: Why did the seagle fly over the sea and not the bay? Answer: Because if he flew over the bay he would be a bay-gle not a sea-gle.... Get it?

2009-01-30 00:13:00 Author: Schwem00 Posts: 255

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you just made that up didnt you...?

2009-01-30 00:27:00 Author: Mrgenji Posts: 803

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This might not be so obvious, New Zealand has a long-standing friendly rivalry with Australia: There are four people going on a train through Europe, a Kiwi bloke, an Aussie bloke, a hot young women and and an Old Granny. They go through a tunnel, and there is a loud "whack!" sound in the middle of it. On the other side, the Aussie has a big red mark on his face. The Granny is thinking: I bet that Aussie guy tried to grope the young girl and she slapped him back. The Young girl is thinking: I bet that Aussie guy tried to grope me, missed and got my Gran and she slapped him back. The Aussie is thinking: I bet that Kiwi guy tried to grope that young girl and she slapped him back, but got me instead. And the Kiwi Guy is thinking: I can't wait for another tunnel so I can slap that Aussie guy again! /end insider joke There are three types of people in this world: those that can count, and those that can't. I walked into a bar and saw George Bush, who was talking about WWIII: I'm going to kill 30 million Iraq (plural? :rollseyes and one hot, big-boobed, blond girl. Another man asks "why the hot, big-boobed blond girl" and George Bush goes: "it's funny, no-one ever cares about the Iraqis (?)" ^^ If I offended you I am very sorry

2009-01-30 09:07:00 Author: dkjestrup Posts: 672

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There is no natural selection, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live. NOTE: I have no idea who Chuck Norris is.

2009-01-31 09:27:00 Author: Boomy Posts: 3701

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Three men are running from the police but come to a dead end in an alley way, luckily they see three sacks on the floor that they can hide in, so they do. Moments later a police man shows up and spots the three sacks on the floor. He kicks the first sack and the man inside says... 'woof woof' and the police says 'oh its just a dog'. Then the police man kicks the second sack and the man says... 'meeeow' and the police man says 'oh its just a cat'. Finally the police man kicks the third sack and the man inside says... 'Potatoes!'

2009-01-31 11:56:00 Author: Samson107 Posts: 83

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This might not be so obvious, New Zealand has a long-standing friendly rivalry with Australia: For those of you unsure of the Kiwi accent I give you the following How to speak New Zillund A is for Arm Uttered when thinking. B is for Bull What you're charged for the meal. C is for Cuds Children. D is for Donut Long version of don't. E is for Ear What we breathe. F is for Fush Sea creatures. G is for Guess Used for cooking or heating. H is for Hull Land which isn't flat. I is for Ice cream What I do when the All Blacks lose. J is for Jug Type of Irish dance. K is for Ken's Popular holiday city is Queensland. L is for Lust Something you write before. M is for Milburn Capital of Victoria. N is for Nutter To have a yarn. O is for One doze A pane of glass in a wall. P is for Pigs Found on a clothes line. Q is for Quad Slang term for a British Pound Note. R is for Rung Piece of jewellery. S is for Sucks The number after five. T is for Tin The number after nine. U is for Undies West Undies. Good at cricket. V is for Volley Area between two hulls. W is for Windy A girls name. X is for Xylophone It's the same in any langwudge. Y is for Yuppie An expression of delight. Cheers QuozL

2009-01-31 12:11:00 Author: QuozL Posts: 921

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Ok, so a penguin is opn a road trip in arizona, he is traveling down the interstate and his oil light comes on, so he stops at the next county and stops by a mechanic. the mechanic says he can't take a look at the car right now but in about an hour he would take a look. so the penguin takes a walk around town and comes across an ice cream vendor, naturally, him being a penguin, he decides ice cream is a good idea on a hot arizona day. so he orders a big bowl of vanilla ice cream. he then realizes he doesnt have have opposable thumbs, so he just kinda digs into the ice cream with his beak. after he finishes his ice cream, he heads back to the mechainic, when he gets there, he says "so you find out whats wrong?" and the mechanic replies "yeah, it looks like you blew a seal." the penguin looks suprised and wipes off his mouth and says "oh! no thats just ice cream." HA!

2009-01-31 23:15:00 Author: Gondito Posts: 1082

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