Archive: 6 posts

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First off, I apologize for the length of this post... I've been gaming all my life, and it's a passion I'm happy to pass on to my kids. However, gaming has come a long way since the Atari 2600 and NES, the two systems I connect most to my childhood. Of course, the world itself has changed significantly as well. I think back to my own childhood and, even in those so called, somewhat "innocent" days, I can't help but be a little distressed over the freedoms I was given by my parents. That's the parent in me thinking that of course, as the kid I was was happy to roam streets and fields (I grew up in a very rural area) from sun up to well past sun down. As a parent, I can't imagine giving my kids those same freedoms, even back then. Now, I do admit to being too overly protective of my kids. A side effect I guess of watching too much news and TV, as well as memories of my own experiences as a minor. My wife is just as overly protective as I am, though it's something we constantly try and adjust as we can. So, the need to protect my kids makes the Internet horrifying. And this is where this all ties to gaming; Online Gaming. As it is, my kids have had very little (at most) online gaming time. There have been those few moments with my direct supervision, like with Animal Crossing on the DS several years ago. I allowed my son to get a Friend Code, but I locked out the Wi Fi so I had to manually enter the passcode each time. I would allow him to come to my town (we had two DS Lites) and the friends of mine I trusted the most at the same time. He was about 8 at the time I think. With the current gaming Gen, we have two PS3s, both hooked up to TVs side by side in the living room. My entire family plays LBP, as well as other games of course. I have the master account, and my wife and our three kids have sub-accounts off of my master account. My wife's account is of course totally open. But all 3 kids accounts have "Restrict Chat" and "Restrict Content" set to Yes. The flaw here though is that apparently LBP1 didn't adhere to these restrictions because an online user popped into a level my oldest daughter was playing a few weeks ago... But, moving on. So, as I've said, I do admit to being overly over protective. But, I also see other parents I know be too lax; lying about their kids ages to get them Facebook accounts for example. That's something I would never do. But, I do realize that the world of online gaming, while it has it's dangers, also opens up gamers to incredible opportunities. LBP2 has some fantastic user created levels that I would love my kids to play. My oldest daughter already plays all the LBP1 community levels since LBP1, as I said, doesn't seem to take in the parental settings. Now, my oldest daughter is actually very good at LBP. Sometimes she's better that I am. She spends hours in create mode and goes back to all the story levels of both LBP PS3 titles. With my son, I'm about to just free him of restrictions and simply monitor as best I can. He's going to be 13 soon, so I think it's time to let up as much as I can bring myself to. I feel bad with my oldest daughter though because she really does get into LBP. However, she also does things I'm not ok with... Half her levels are plastered with pictures of herself from the PS Eye... That I would not allow to be uploaded, which is why I have such hesitation on unlocking her account to any extent. My youngest isn't a concern yet, and won't be for a few years at soonest. Anyway, I'm in a bit of a dilemma; I'd really like to allow my oldest daughter access to community levels on LBP2, but I don't feel comfortable with her playing online with random strangers nor do I want her publishing levels with her pics attached. I guess I could manually unlock her settings while I'm watching her, then lock them back up when I'm not. But man that sounds like a hassle. Well, anyone still reading will probably be wondering what my point is exactly by now. I guess I'm looking for guidance of my own from other parents. Thoughts, opinions, experiences and what not. I'd really like a flow of ideas on the subject of Parental Guidance, video games, online activity and the world of today. Thank you for reading!

2013-01-29 18:15:00 Author: DistantWords Posts: 49

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I'm not in the same boat exactly, but have the same concerns about my son being online, his exposure to creeps, and the issue of privacy. For perspective: mine is an adopted boy (now 14 year old), in Japan, a relatively safe culture where privacy online and offline are both abundantly protected, and not so much an issue. When we've gamed (always together) on 360 and PS3, it's been almost always offline. When online I've always been present, and at first I was concerned about the occasional misbehaving western player spewing insults at him or something, that was my only fear. We never used the PS Eye, never used text chat features, etc. I think if I had to make a decision about these, I would have said "no" to allowing him to use them when I wasn't present. As a boy I would not be worried about him uploading pictures of himself on LBP1 or LBP2, but he didn't get into the games. So, another non-issue. That said, the possibility of him being "out there" in various photos is a thing, he keeps a blog on his cell phone which has video functions and so forth. So... concerns are less about gaming, and more about child exposure in the greater world. Letting him wander off into Tokyo is scary. Letting him go online into the web's dark underbelly is scary. In that sense we share the same worries. Anyway: How to let a child roam free without coming across something totally inappropriate? How much to let them roam? In terms of exposure to content itself I'm not so bothered. I was raised by parents who were very permissive when it came to entertainment. Right out of the gate I let him play M-rated (in Japan, Z-rated) games, because we were together, bonding. I shut him down once or twice when he tested the waters, slinging offensive words for whatever reason, and he never did it in my presence after that. I feel the games didn't teach him anything his classmates hadn't already, and he knows that just because a character or another person behaves some way, it doesn't make that the right way. In fact, it often is very clearly the wrong way. If he was exposed to obscenity from another gamer, I think it'd roll off both our backs. It's my belief that so long as you have an open dialogue and trust between you and your child(ren), what they are exposed to becomes less of a concern. By trust I don't mean giving them undue autonomy like small adults. I mean, if you can trust them to be open with you, then you can trust in the ability to verify their safety. Of course when trust breaks down, I honestly can't say what the solution is. Here's a problem we struggled with: when he was about 12, our son discovered he could access adult websites on the computer. We could easily track the browser history and knew exactly what he'd seen. It was natural that he was curious, but obviously inappropriate. Number one, we explained he wasn't allowed to look at that stuff. Number two, we needed to trust that he would tell us when he saw stuff like it. But the problem with number two was at odds with number one. He wanted to see something he wasn't allowed to, and wasn't going to incriminate himself after he'd done it. It was a new, murky area of right and wrong, but bottom line, trust broke down when he was accessing this stuff and then lied about it. Breach of trust is a hard thing to explain. I still haven't gotten it right. We did the basic punishment at the time: revoked his computer rights. Later when he got online again, he looked at adult websites again. And lied about it, again. So we revoked his computer rights, again. Eventually we locked down the computer so he could not start it up without a password, but my wife gave him the password through some private exchange between them. Apparently, he convinced her he might need access to the computer during emergencies. I learned about this when yet again he looked at adult websites, having used the password, and lied to us. It became a constant concern that anything he was trying to do was a manipulation. I played like a broken record with every lecture: dialogue and trust. Dad sounding stuff, boring and inconsequential to a kid, that's my failing I suppose. We were at odds. My wife and I were the enemy stopping him from having fun. He was the enemy for lying to us. We were at odds even in our definition of the problem. There wasn't any real correction of behavior in the end, just preventative action. The computer became a lifeless monolith, turned off all the time, a little monument of distrust. Then, eventually, he got back online again, and didn't look at websites. At least, not that I have known. He'll surely always be looking for the stuff, I can't think of a teenage boy who ever "outgrew" an obsession with adult content, or any adult either. But he got out of the phase of compulsively lying to us while trying to break the rules of our home. Hmm. I can't really imagine what I'd do if he was carrying on with strangers on PS3, but I'd probably go the same route as the computer. I need to know that we have an open dialogue and I can believe him when I talk to him about things. It bothers me that children judge danger thresholds by blowing past them and backing up, but I can deal with that if at least nobody's hiding anything from anyone. I honestly don't think the PS3 is anywhere near the threat a regular cell phone or computer presents, although at times I have proposed we limit his cell phone access. Japan is such a cell phone culture, though, for all ages, that taking away his phone actually endangers and alienates him in more ways. It's probably considered child endangerment to deprive a child of a cell phone. I wish that was a joke. In any case, if something troubling was going on on the PS3, if he was making friends and swapping pictures with strangers and -- more importantly -- if I felt he was doing so deceptively in a way that was endangering him, I would revoke his PS3 privileges. Simple. The stakes are higher there than with a computer I think. He wants his profiles and his games. He can live without the computer, which was only ever a portal for adult content. Ha ha. Hmm. Wish we could snap our fingers everything worked the way the subconscious wants it to, without ever having to put it into words. Anyway, my advice? Emphasize trust and communication. All the time. Do what it takes to affirm you've got those things with your children. Kind of generic no-brainer stuff I guess? Sorry.

2013-01-30 06:14:00 Author: Unknown User

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Why don't you teach them to never reveal their names, age, pictures and other personal details and let them play online? It'd be pretty normal if they were like 9, but 13? Come on. Then again, what do I know about parenting. Better leave this one to the parents of LBPC.

2013-01-30 10:05:00 Author: SnipySev Posts: 2452

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hey i'm a mum of a 18 and 16 year old. imo it's better to teach do's and don'ts, then to keep them away' from the internet i've learned they will play somewhere else (friends houses, school, etc) if they really want too therefore talking with them, and explaining the consequences of their acts works better in the end. btw, my kids never got a cam! grtz mirjan

2013-01-30 10:40:00 Author: mirjanneke Posts: 34

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Obviously things have changed a lot since a few of us were younger. I'm only 26 (approaching 27) and things are a lot different not to when I was young. There is a danger of being over protective. I don't think there's any major harm in letting your 2 eldest play LBP online. LBP is largely a cooperative environment. As long as you keep an eye on them, it should be ok. A large amount of people who play LBP online are kids. You may see a lot of childish trolling, but nothing majorly harmful. It goes without saying that you shouldn't let your daughter publish levels with pics of herself in, no matter what her age is (could lead to hateful comments etc), but you should allow her to publish levels. Would you say your children are quite mature for their age? We have a few members on here that are only 12/13 yrs old, and they carry themselves quite well. Just keep them away from all the hateful sods in games like CoD and Fifa and you should be alright.

2013-01-30 12:07:00 Author: Ali_Star Posts: 4085

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Obviously things have changed a lot since a few of us were younger. I'm only 26 (approaching 27) and things are a lot different not to when I was young. There is a danger of being over protective. I don't think there's any major harm in letting your 2 eldest play LBP online. LBP is largely a cooperative environment. As long as you keep an eye on them, it should be ok. A large amount of people who play LBP online are kids. You may see a lot of childish trolling, but nothing majorly harmful. It goes without saying that you shouldn't let your daughter publish levels with pics of herself in, no matter what her age is (could lead to hateful comments etc), but you should allow her to publish levels. Would you say your children are quite mature for their age? We have a few members on here that are only 12/13 yrs old, and they carry themselves quite well. Just keep them away from all the hateful sods in games like CoD and Fifa and you should be alright. Something else smart to do is when playing LBP, go to the start menu, go to setting, and there is an area about online safety. You can make it where if someone tries to join you, it automatically blocks it, and you can make it where when you try to play a level, you always play it on your own. What I'm trying to say is to just make them turn on those settings, and there shouldn't be very much worrying.

2013-01-31 23:16:00 Author: amoney1999 Posts: 1202

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