Archive: 29 posts

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So games these days have plenty of cliches that are fun to poke fun at, so hey, let's do it! Regenerating health: "Argh! I've just been shot ten times, I don't think I'm going to make it, everything is red.. so much jam, possibly of the strawberry variety." Waits a few seconds. "Hmm curious, I seem to have fully recovered for no apparent reason, onwards!" No morale: Most games of the violent persuasion will have you regularly dispatch multiple foes in fairly large groups. So once you've taken out say 15 of 17 enemies without breaking so much as a sweat, do they turn to each other and say, "This guy is unbeatable, let's get out of here!" No, if anything it's just the usual, "You're going down!" Not nervous in the slightest. Stealth master: Ever knock out multiple patrol units in a stealth game and see that final unit wander through their usual area and wonder why they don't say, "Hey, where did everybody go!?" Perhaps they have mastered the art of sleep walking, would be a handy skill to stay sane in a job like that I guess. Not so handy for staying alive though. Super low gravity: So pretty much all fighting games state that if you knock someone off the ground with some amazingly powerful kick or uppercut, simply punching or kicking your opponent before they hit the ground will have them bounce higher and higher. Then again I suppose most characters in these games have certain special abilities unavailable to mortals so perhaps defying gravity isn't that big a deal. Indestructible doors: You've got your hands on a rocket launcher, aww yeah. There's a normal wooden door over there that's locked, let's blow it off the hinges and see what's inside! BOOOM! Nothing. Magical explosion proof doors are common in games apparently. Keep them coming folks, what cliches have you scratching your head or just laughing at the silliness of it all?

2012-12-28 21:59:00 Author: LieutenantFatman Posts: 465

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There always seems to be someone who wants to literally destroy the entire world. Always seemed like a very short sighted plan. "lets blow up the world!" "but what about us?" "ummmm, lets go to the moon and blow up the earth!" "but what about food/air/water?" "ummm, we'll be fine..." "sir, why do we follow you?" In war games I've killed literally hundreds of thousands of enemy soldiers. Like I could have wiped out the population of small countries, yet I'm never tried for crimes against humanity for my genocides. and where do all these soldiers come from? "hey guys you wanna join my evil army?" "sure! what do we do?" "mostly just fight against these two guys, I think one of their names is 'follow'" "oh, they any good?" "ehhhh well that one guy has killed like, literally, a million of us..." "umm, yea... Ill pass" and stealth and escort missions. Like in assassins creed, for the most part I can beat a mission in any way I see fit... Which 7/10 times is to run in and stab people in the face until I get a cut scene... then I get a mission where I lose if anyone sees me at all... Not fair ubisoft, not fair. And every time I get an escort mission I think of Natalya... ohhh Natalya... Why no sense of urgancy, my dear? I mean most people will at least walk at a brisk pace, once people start shooting at them, but oh not you. you mosey along at a snails pace and seem to be a magnet for every bullet fired. and most of the time I just end up killing you my self... maybe next time you will get a little more pep in your step... Escort missions suck.

2012-12-28 22:20:00 Author: Madafaku Posts: 738

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Anything in the Videogames section from TV Tropes could count, right? The most annoying thing in videogames ever? Waist-high walls and their sisters, the invisible walls. "Oh look, a fence, I'll just jump over it! Oh, I can't, I'll have to sidetrack through all these enemies" And what about things dropping money when broken? "I broke a pot and got 5 coins! Nothing strange. Huh, I broke a table and 20 coins appeared! I killed a rabbit and he had 15 coins inside him!" And the best thing of all, the screen turning red when damaged, and it usually overlaps with regenerating health. Looks like blood starts pouring into the hero eyes, but it magically dissapears after a while Videogames are full of cliches and tropes. Maybe that's part of their charm

2012-12-28 23:33:00 Author: Patofan Posts: 1185

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Ha! I almost choked on my corn flakes reading about the rabbit, very funny stuff, good work. And yes the invisible walls. I still remember playing a rally game on the psone crashing into some tape like it was a concrete wall. Felt quite disappointing.

2012-12-29 00:41:00 Author: LieutenantFatman Posts: 465

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What im curious is in the Uncharted games when you stealth kill people. You wonder why they do not noticed that there is someone at the ground when they are like 2 feet away from it. Also when you pull/push people off a cliff you hear a loud scream and no one else heard it...

2012-12-29 04:56:00 Author: Sunbunny23 Posts: 995

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Indestrucible trees. I'll be driving in Grand Theft Auto, when I find myself in the park, going full speed trying to get away from the cops, and what happens? I have a head on collision with a tree, which ruins my care completely, and lets the cops catch me. These trees are also extremely puny. If it were real life you could probably rip it out of the ground by its roots. http://www.majhost.com/gallery/koraka1993/GTA-V/gta4trees.jpg See what I mean?

2012-12-29 16:45:00 Author: TheMonkeyBlade Posts: 687

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To be continued/ first in a planned trillogy. the game bombs and you never get a sequel

2012-12-29 16:59:00 Author: Rabid-Coot Posts: 6728

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respawning with the progress of your previous attempts work saved, for instance half the gaurds are dead and then you're killed. respawn with half the gaurds still dead or alerted to your presence. this is especially funny in games with a strong story emphasis and a single lead character (more forgivable in a generic war game where you play as a faceless soldier)

2012-12-29 18:03:00 Author: Smudge228 Posts: 533

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Complete disconnect between the urgency of a game's plot and the actual amount of time and freedom that is afforded to the player, which is something even the greatest games do in a very noticable way. Not that timed missions are necessarily any more entertaining, but it's strange when a game and the characters in it continuously tell you your racing against time to stop whatever nefarious scheme an antagonist is carrying out and yet you can take all the time in the world and get sidetracked by all manner of sidequests and other diversions. Probably the most noticable example of this in recent memory is Batman: Arkham City where Hugo Strange continously counts down to how "Protocol 10 will commence in X hours" throughout the game. This is in spite of the fact that it isn't actually the progression of time that dictates how many hours remain, but how far you progress through the main plot points and you're completely free to screw around and go on wild goose chases for serial killers or meticulously solve a bunch of plot tangential riddles at any time for any amount of time.

2012-12-29 20:55:00 Author: Dapiek Absaroka Posts: 512

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Hehe, I'm liking these, keep them coming folks, here's another from me. Character gets shot or inflicted with another dangerous attack. "My time is over, you must continue your journey without me." "But dude, you've been shot a thousand times already, was that a magic bullet, we thought you were immortal!" "Yes, but it's different this time, it happened in a cutscene.."

2012-12-30 21:02:00 Author: LieutenantFatman Posts: 465

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Two tropes that make me giggle / sigh: The goldfish memory hero The unstoppable killer with a glass jaw "I'll fight you when you reach the next room!" says the bad guy who you've been chasing the entire game, who will then go into the next room and close the door in a cutscene. Literally the instant you regain control, your character says aloud, "Who was that guy? Where did he go? I need to find a way out of this room." Then you walk into the next room and, in spite of being a bullet sponge who has survived every possible violent assault so far, get laid out by a single punch to the face... by the same bad guy. Surprise! He was waiting in the next room to fight you. If only there had been some warning... Similarly, there's the goldfish memory henchman who will spot you, chase you to where you ducked into a vent or behind a box, then go "Huh! Guess it was nothing." How do henchmen like that get hired? How do they make it through the interview without forgetting who everyone is and wandering out of the room? EDIT: Another one. These are fun! The ridiculous "experience" that teaches you basic, unrelated skills You slay two thousand monsters and gain the ability to cross a river. You do thirty dungeon rescues for strangers and gain the ability to make your own meals.

2012-12-31 13:50:00 Author: Unknown User

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I think a more appropriate title for this would be "Video game Logic". To me, this is the most annoying story-gameplay discrepancy there is: There's a boss fight. If you lose, you get a "mission failed" screen and have to start over. If you win, you get a cutscene where the boss miraculously recovers from the butt-kicking you dealt him and beats the crap out of you. Turns out you're just not powerful enough to defeat that boss after all, and he "wins" the battle. Why must I defeat an enemy to advance a story wherein he's the one who actually defeats me? Who the hell thought it was a good idea to reward your victory with a cutscene that screams "LOSER!" to your face? It's like they're challenging us to a game of "heads I win, tails you lose". Just make the boss fight unwinnable in the first place, and advance the story when the player inevitably loses. Jedi Knight II and Mega Man X do this. Not only does it make more sense, you feel much better when you defeat that same enemy later in the story. Demon's Souls also employs an interesting variation of this. BTW, it's totally worth checking out the site Patofan mentioned, TV Tropes (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/VideoGameGenres?from=Main.VideoGames). I have to warn you though: this site is a timesink. Prepare to open dozens of tabs in your browser if you start reading.

2013-01-01 01:54:00 Author: SnipySev Posts: 2452

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It's more of a plot flaw than anything else, but I feel this fits in with the subject quite well: Gun Master in Everyone: Every protagonist in shooting games have a ton of experience with guns. Granted, when you're playing COD or Battlefield and your character is a trained marine, this is fair and it makes sense. However, in a game like FarCry3, it literally acknowledges the main character's utter lack of experience and extreme distaste for violence, and how he learns to fight as the plot progresses, yet you can handle a military grade weapon like a complete pro right off the bat. It's such an immersion breaker, and it really makes me wonder why they even try to innovate with characters in FPS games in the first place.

2013-01-02 04:57:00 Author: grayspence Posts: 1990

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Uncharted actually has A LOT of these. First off, The invisible armour. Drake get's shot hundreds of times, and just waits for it to heal off, but he's just in casual clothes. So, shouldn't the first few shots kill him? Now, it's the Master of Parkour... whenever. In Uncharted 2, when Lazarevic shoots you on the train, and Drake manages to escape, but finds the train he's in hanging over a cliff, so he has to CLIMB the train. It makes it clear that he's injured from the blood on him, and how beaten up he is, but he shouldn't be able to climb the train. The wound would be much too bad for that.

2013-01-02 18:12:00 Author: TheMonkeyBlade Posts: 687

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I read the title as 'Hilarious gaming glitches' for some reason Also, the double jump. Completely impossible yet somehow many video game characters can pull one off eaisly.

2013-01-04 11:50:00 Author: kirbyman62 Posts: 1893

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My favourite sort of clich? that can be found in many games, most notable early Resident Evils and Silent Hill, it's the protagonist's kleptomania, I tried that once, picking up keys that weren't mine, looking for books that didn't belong to me, thieving guns and ammo just because they were there. And while I'm on the topic, where did I store these dozens of items? They just disappeared into my pockets. Infinite carrying space without even a backpack or anything.

2013-01-04 12:43:00 Author: Ironface Posts: 432

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Drake get's shot hundreds of times, and just waits for it to heal off, but he's just in casual clothes. So, shouldn't the first few shots kill him? I regard it as a "luck system" instead of a health system. Each time Drake takes "damage", the bullet actually buzzes right past him, too close for comfort, instead of actually hitting him. You must avoid taking too many risks (like popping out of cover for too long) to not push your luck. As the screen becomes colorless, it indicates that Drake's luck is running out... until he's finally struck by the single bullet that kills him. This perspective works pretty well for me, since Uncharted doesn't have any blood splatter from gunshot wounds or as damage indicator. From my point of view, Drake is just the luckiest guy in the world instead of a relentless bullet sponge.

2013-01-04 12:45:00 Author: SnipySev Posts: 2452

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I'm playing Rage at the moment, it's a huge amount of fun, but I just came across one of those cliches, the really silly ones where you're in a boss fight and you have to 'shoot the flashing bits to win'. Wow, lucky it was flashing or I wouldn't have known how to beat it. Bit weird though how firing a dozen rockets at the enemies' arm doesn't cause any damage whatsoever. And that these boss enemies are never smart enough to cover up the their flashing weak spots. Another one I noticed that is common in FPS games is the locked doors everywhere. Hundreds of them but you can't get through them under any circumstances, just for decoration I suppose. Might have to do that in my house, just put fake doors everywhere to mess with people's heads. Visitor: "What's in this room?" Me: "There's no room there, I just like doors. A lot." Visitor: "Ok.. I'm going to leave now... urgh, which door did I enter through? I can't remember, there are so many." Me: "Mwahahahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!"

2013-01-04 14:06:00 Author: LieutenantFatman Posts: 465

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I regard it as a "luck system" instead of a health system. Each time Drake takes "damage", the bullet actually buzzes right past him, too close for comfort, instead of actually hitting him. You must avoid taking too many risks (like popping out of cover for too long) to not push your luck. As the screen becomes colorless, it indicates that Drake's luck is running out... until he's finally struck by the single bullet that kills him. This perspective works pretty well for me, since Uncharted doesn't have any blood splatter from gunshot wounds or as damage indicator. From my point of view, Drake is just the luckiest guy in the world instead of a relentless bullet sponge. And that would mean that difficulty levels in Uncharted alter luck with crushing having very little.

2013-01-04 14:14:00 Author: Rabid-Coot Posts: 6728

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Games that involve platforming around ancient temples - I mean...... what architect in their right mind would design a building like that? How the heck did they get around in the first place? Also, there's the standard "3 character choice" - you get the weak but agile one, the strong tank, and the all-rounder.

2013-01-04 15:05:00 Author: Ali_Star Posts: 4085

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Also, there's the standard "3 character choice" - you get the weak but agile one, the strong tank, and the all-rounder. Or the weak but agile, the strong tank and the magic user. Also known as the "rogue, warrior, mage" trio of archetypes in RPG's.

2013-01-04 18:07:00 Author: SnipySev Posts: 2452

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It's Urgent! But The World Waits For You This one bugs me quite a lot too, especially for games that pretend at openness. You are assigned a task by someone and then literally nothing else is possible, even stuff that was possible moments ago. There's a sense of import but you can take a lifetime getting there. Want to visit the shop? NO! Character A is waiting for you at Location X. Game worlds with hundreds of characters will all stop whatever they're doing and never need to meet with you or have another request for you, even when it's obvious they will be serving up future missions completely independent of time or your relationship to Character A. Yeesh.

2013-01-07 15:56:00 Author: Unknown User

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The world is ending. You're the only person that can stop it. But people still have the nerve to ask you to run their petty errands.

2013-01-07 22:31:00 Author: SnipySev Posts: 2452

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It's Urgent! But The World Waits For You This one bugs me quite a lot too, especially for games that pretend at openness. You are assigned a task by someone and then literally nothing else is possible, even stuff that was possible moments ago. There's a sense of import but you can take a lifetime getting there. Want to visit the shop? NO! Character A is waiting for you at Location X. Game worlds with hundreds of characters will all stop whatever they're doing and never need to meet with you or have another request for you, even when it's obvious they will be serving up future missions completely independent of time or your relationship to Character A. Yeesh. How about with RPGs like Fallout and Skyrim (basically the only RPGs I've ever played )? You could be doing a mission, rescue someone and they could say "Thanks. I have important things to discuss, meet me back at the house as soon as possible"...... but then you prat around for a week (game time) doing meaningless tasks, then finally go and meet him again. I'd like it if there was one time you'd do this and a character would say "Where the hell have you been? I've been waiting here for 3 sodding weeks!!!"

2013-01-09 10:24:00 Author: Ali_Star Posts: 4085

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You must kill 8 men before you can pull out the radio to get the chopper to attack. Killstreaks....

2013-01-12 06:37:00 Author: waaghgork Posts: 160

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If it hasn't been mentioned already... Super Mario Games: Save Princess Peach from Browser who wants to do _____ and ____ with her and you must also eat green mushrooms to gain an extra life, destroying the purpose of YOLO.

2013-01-20 18:46:00 Author: MSTER232 Posts: 247

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"Sargent! We can't advance! There's an unlimited amount of bad guys that keep coming from a door to replace the dead ones! It's so much, the corpses are starting to vanish! Don't worry about it private. Protagonist! You are tasked with advancing through the hordes of enemies and reach that door, so they can stop coming and we can advance! But Sargent, you're bullet-prof! Can't you go instead? No, Protagonist! I must stay here shooting blanks to fool the enemy! *protagonist heads out, then dies* Protagonist is down! I repeat, protagonist is down!" -Call of Duty- "Hmm. The sentry won't open the airport gates for me? Let's see... *parks ambulance onto gate, in front of the sentry, then climbs it and enters the airport, no big deal* Okay, so there's a private jet in here. Let's just open the door that is conveniently unlocked, then start the engines, taxi to the runway and take off. Because that would be so easy to do without preparation... *takes off, then flies in circles for 20 minutes* *congratulations, you now have a pilot license!* -San Andreas-

2013-01-20 20:45:00 Author: gdn001 Posts: 5891

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If it hasn't been mentioned already... Super Mario Games: Save Princess Peach from Browser who wants to do _____ and ____ with her and you must also eat green mushrooms to gain an extra life, destroying the purpose of YOLO. Everyone knows YOLO only counts if you have swag.

2013-01-21 03:23:00 Author: TheMonkeyBlade Posts: 687

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Convenient Weapon Cache There is always a box of ammo on location where the enemy "ambush" will occur. It is often stocked with the only weapon that can bring the enemy down. Don't Look Behind You (Shooter/RPG version) No matter how soon or how often you go back to a previous room, enemies will be there first. Again. Don't Look Behind You (Horror version) No matter the precautions you take, once you start putting that key in that lock, a zombie will come out of nowhere to give you a clumsy hug.

2013-01-21 03:40:00 Author: Unknown User

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