Archive: 84 posts

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Personnlally I thik Santa's real, I just want to hear your opinion

2011-11-12 03:18:00 Author: lark98-2 Posts: 116

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Yes and so are spam threads.

2011-11-12 04:01:00 Author: Ayneh Posts: 2454

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Just going post this and look like a ****: According to the Population Refeence Bureau, 378 million people celebrate Christmas worldwide. With an average of 3.5 children per home, that's 91.8 million homes for Santa to visit. Thanks to different time zones, Santa has 31 hours of Christmas to work with, assuming he travels east to west. This works out to 822.6 visits per second. That means for each celebrating household with at least one good child in it, Santa has 1/1000th of a second to park, hop out of the sleigh, jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, place presents under the tree, eat the cookies and return to the sleigh.

2011-11-12 04:29:00 Author: Alec Posts: 3871

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Just going post this and look like a ****: Yes, and you sure did look like one D:

2011-11-12 04:48:00 Author: lark98-2 Posts: 116

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He sure is! I see him in front of Wal Mart every year.

2011-11-12 05:48:00 Author: biorogue Posts: 8424

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He's dead. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saint_Nicholas)

2011-11-12 05:59:00 Author: Outlaw-Jack Posts: 5757

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Of course he is, I see him in the Shopping Mall every year!

2011-11-12 07:50:00 Author: gdn001 Posts: 5891

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Just going post this and look like a ****: Fair enought, buuuuut, you gotta remember tho, there's one single thing that can easily explain how he could do it all, as well: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RSf9aEETnvE Santa does have magic, maybe he's able to slow down/ freeze time during Christmas night, which would also explain why he's never been caught, he works too fast for us to even notice him.

2011-11-12 07:54:00 Author: Silverleon Posts: 6707

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Fair enought, buuuuut, you gotta remember tho, there's one single thing that can easily explain how he could do it all, as well: Santa does have magic, maybe he's able to slow down/ freeze time during Christmas night, which would also explain why he's never been caught, he works too fast for us to even notice him. Unfortunately, that doesn't exist either. I seriously doubt that I wouldn't notice a fat guy in red travelling at the speed of light. Or doubt that he'd be able to go remotely that fast in the first place. Unless he can fly... Maybe there is magic after all.

2011-11-12 17:42:00 Author: Sackpapoi Posts: 1195

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IF he WAS real... then why do rich boys and girls get more presents then poor boys and girls? Answer: Because those rich boys and girls EARNED their presents, ******. Those poor boys and girls want handouts, do they? Maybe they should have been born rich, those little brats >_> So, to answer your question, yes. Saint Nick is real, and he's the essence of Capitalism. Except that he distributes free stuff to a large number of people. With an entire race dedicated to one single, collective goal. So... he's a communist? Santa is a communist... who rewards the rich and punishes the poor. So act like a communist to his own personal race of proletariat elves who work all year for no pay or leave from the cold, harsh Artic winds... for the express purpose of handing out gifts to all the children of the world... but giving more to the rich and less to the poor? Not only that, but he IS an old guy with a weird beard who can see you when you're sleeping, and knows when you're awake... So, a pedophile as well... Well, class, what have we learned today? Santa is a magical pedophile with an army of communist elves for the purpose of distributing gifts to all one night a year, but gives more to richer kids then he does to poorer kids. So a pedophile, a communist, a harsh manager (how else would he be able to keep an entire species of sentient beings working day and night to make brand-name toys for all the rich little boys and girls, and yet you have never seen an elf be able to enjoy himself at the beach?), AND a capitalist. Oh, and he also has power over time and space. But remember kids... SANTA KNOWS WHEN YOU ARE SLEEPING. HE KNOWS WHEN YOU ARE AWAKE. HE KNOWS WHERE ALL THE NAUGHTY BOYS AND GIRLS LIVE... SO BE GOOD FOR GOODNESS SAKE. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand I am now done character attacking a beloved children's icon. Would you like me to do anyone else?

2011-11-12 18:14:00 Author: RockSauron Posts: 10882

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Outlaw! get out of this thread and go finish the poem

2011-11-12 20:36:00 Author: biorogue Posts: 8424

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Just going post this and look like a ****: Yes, and you sure did look like one D: Dont mind Alec there, Lark. Hes just being a Scroodge.... And unfortunately is correct.

2011-11-12 20:40:00 Author: grayspence Posts: 1990

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MAybe they should have been born rich, those little brats >_> http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lt57q9A0gR1qfh0tl.png

2011-11-12 20:42:00 Author: DominationMags Posts: 1840

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Yes Santa is real. Yesterday he robbed my house and took my family to entertain his reindeer. I hate that man.

2011-11-13 01:39:00 Author: Undarivik Posts: 442

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He's dead. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saint_Nicholas) http://memegenerator.net/cache/instances/400x/10/11123/11390497.jpg

2011-11-13 01:47:00 Author: Spazz Posts: 484

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Of course he is, he leaves coal in my stove every year. @TehRawk-: You just smashed my picture of Santa. ;_;

2011-11-13 20:08:00 Author: nysudyrgh Posts: 5482

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Yes of course he is because with out santa claus there would be no christmas spirit.

2011-11-13 20:30:00 Author: The_Lil_JoKeR Posts: 745

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Yes of course he is because with out santa claus there would be no christmas spirit. I'm pretty sure all the corporations seeking maximum profits are a much bigger part of why Christmas is so engrained in our mindset are a better representation of what Christmas stands for in our society then an old, creepy fat pedophile fascist dictator with power over time and space. But that's just me :/

2011-11-13 20:34:00 Author: RockSauron Posts: 10882

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I wonder ... Hasn't RockSauron anything better to do than bash Santa?

2011-11-13 20:40:00 Author: nysudyrgh Posts: 5482

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Why does it seem every one hates santa? . . '_' <- those are my tears yo anti_christmasists

2011-11-13 20:40:00 Author: lark98-2 Posts: 116

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Exactly lets make a world wide company to save santa!

2011-11-13 20:43:00 Author: aleparad Posts: 28

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That's it! We should make a Santa group! And yes nysudyrgh, He has nothing better to do.

2011-11-13 20:47:00 Author: lark98-2 Posts: 116

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I wonder ... Hasn't RockSauron anything better to do than bash Santa? Do I look like I have a life? And, furthermore, does the topic creator ahve nothing better to do then create stupid topics where he asks if old fat guys are real? Wait... Why does it seem every one hates santa? . . '_' <- those are my tears yo anti_christmasists Look at him. I mean, look at him. Even if he were real, and wasn't a fascist pedophile, he has become nothing more than a crass marketing tool used by corporate America to create a time frame where they can rake in massive profits, while masking the whole thing under a religious background (despite Christmas not taking place anywhere near Jesus' birth) and a hokey "Good will" thing. But yeah, Santa has become nothing more then a puppet of the upper classes, who use his... free labor... and blatant copyright infringement... to rake profits somehow? Ok, so, Santa can make anything... even copyrighted stuff... and no one can sue him? It's cause he lives in the North Pole, right? So it's not like he applies to any mortal man's laws... so he and his slave army of elves create other people's products for free... and give them away... for free... I can't see corporations liking that. but they DO! They allow a fat omnipotent old guy to give away their stuff for free? That's millions of dollars lost! The corporations pretty much own America's military anyway, so they should just raid Santa Clause and put him and his sweatshop out of business. Then they'd probably commit genocide against all the elves. For some reason. Something about fear of the elves rising up in revolt over their years of enslavement for the joy of humanity's children. Anyway. So, the plan is simple: We kill Santa, and bring down his operation so our corporate overlords can have their money. Then, we kill all the elves to prevent the possibility of a war between man and elf. Any questions? GOOD.

2011-11-13 20:50:00 Author: RockSauron Posts: 10882

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Santa is in the Coca-Cola spot! Thats the proof!

2011-11-13 20:56:00 Author: aleparad Posts: 28

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Santa is alive! you can write your comments about kill-plans as long as u want tv is always true

2011-11-13 20:58:00 Author: aleparad Posts: 28

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Ever since i saw Santa Claus walking on my front yard in the middle of the night on christmas eve at age 12, all I have to say is yes. Santa is real

2011-11-14 01:47:00 Author: TheBigMan0706 Posts: 40

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Maybe Rawk has a point - Santa's iconic image was created by the coca-cola company. Makes you wonder... >_<

2011-11-14 03:28:00 Author: Enlong3 Posts: 357

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Maybe Rawk has a point - Santa's iconic image was created by the coca-cola company. Makes you wonder... >_< Huh? That wasn't my point at all, and I made no reference to such a thing. Santa's iconic image was create during the Civil war by one of the most prominent newspaper cartoonists ever- the same man who created the modern visage of Uncle Sam, and the Republician Elephant and Democratic Donkey. I forget what for exactly but eh. Anywho, he wasn't created by the corporations for the explicit goal of making money. Now, Rudolph, on the other hand... Muhaha... Muhahahahaha... MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

2011-11-14 04:04:00 Author: RockSauron Posts: 10882

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Unfortunately, that doesn't exist either. I seriously doubt that I wouldn't notice a fat guy in red travelling at the speed of light. Or doubt that he'd be able to go remotely that fast in the first place. Unless he can fly... Maybe there is magic after all. Hahaha, if he was at the speed of light he could probably been at your house multiple times by the time you read this. xD Even if he can't move at the speed of light, he has an army of elves, maybe he's not the only one delivering presents.

2011-11-14 05:36:00 Author: Silverleon Posts: 6707

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Of course Santa's real. Ain't you ever been to a mall during the winter holidays?

2011-11-14 19:39:00 Author: Foofles Posts: 2278

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Of course Santa's real. Ain't you ever been to a mall during the winter holidays? Hey, I made that joke FIRST! D:<

2011-11-14 20:23:00 Author: gdn001 Posts: 5891

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Of course Santa is Real. He's OBVIOUSLY a unique and lonely alien from the planet Samtsirhc who, over a series of complex and scientifically unexplainable events, developed anthropomorphic emotions amongst fellow creatures that were void of emotion, compassion, or any thing of the fallacious nature and decided one day to hop into his space ship that was technologically capable of moving 99.97% the speed of light and embark on a 2000 year escapade to find creatures that shared his unnatural nature eventually stumbling upon a planet filled with creatures that had similar bi-pedal movements to himself that he at first called Era but later upon interacting with the creatures that exist there, discovered the name of the planet to be Earth. Fascinated and proud of his achievment, he decides to celebrate the discovery of our existence every year on the day he found us, based on our own calender system, December 25 by visiting each and every human being he considers good, based of course on some objective mathematical and statistical evidence, using the technology in his space ship and the chemical process that alters the nature of bosons thus changing gravitational law to render extreme material compression and rarefaction a possible operation to supply them with objects that activate serotonin receptors within their brains. Note: This is what I think about when my 4:00 classes get cancelled and I have a 6:00 class so I can't go home and slowly go insane from boredom

2011-11-14 21:44:00 Author: comishguy67 Posts: 849

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How did this get to 3 pages...

2011-11-15 01:25:00 Author: Ayneh Posts: 2454

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How did this get to 3 pages... Well only 2, depending on how many posts-per-page you got. In these cases its best to say the amount of posts the thread has. (34)

2011-11-15 01:47:00 Author: Silverleon Posts: 6707

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As a militant atheist, I have to profess that I don't believe in Santa. Though, when you think about it - Santa is obviously God. Just think about it for a minute - an old bloke with a big white beard (it's not even a very good disguise) - who seems to have been around forever, he knows everything that you've done (omniscience), can seemingly be all places at once (omnipresence), and can get you anything you want (omnipotence). You know how you allways end up finding out eventually that Santa is just your Dad in a costume - well this is especially true for Jesus

2011-11-15 04:30:00 Author: Macnme Posts: 1970

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But...It's still November :/

2011-11-15 19:00:00 Author: kirbyman62 Posts: 1893

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But...It's still November :/ But on people's minds, its either Thanks Giving, or Christmas right after Halloween -'till the actual holiday.

2011-11-15 22:58:00 Author: Silverleon Posts: 6707

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But...It's still November :/ Considering the Corporations propped up their Christmas stuff back in July... Christmas is whenever the corporate overlords want it to be, yo :kz:

2011-11-15 23:21:00 Author: RockSauron Posts: 10882

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My Halloween costume this year was "Zombie Santa"; When people asked me "why?" I just said "I went to buy a halloween costume and all they had was Christmas stuff?!" I'm dead satirical me

2011-11-15 23:37:00 Author: Macnme Posts: 1970

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Is he real? Is he fake? Let's ask Peter! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A4VbOHvaPRc http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A4VbOHvaPRc

2011-11-15 23:38:00 Author: Chump Posts: 1712

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I am Santa. FEAR ME.

2011-11-17 18:43:00 Author: jalr2d2 Posts: 256

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It's cause he lives in the North Pole, right? So it's not like he applies to any mortal man's laws... so he and his slave army of elves. The corporations pretty much own America's military anyway, so they should just raid Santa Clause and put him and his sweatshop out of business. Then they'd probably commit genocide against all the elves. For some reason. Something about fear of the elves rising up in revolt over their years of enslavement for the joy of humanity's children. Anyway. So, the plan is simple: We kill Santa, and bring down his operation so our corporate overlords can have their money. Then, we kill all the elves to prevent the possibility of a war between man and elf. Any questions? GOOD. You sir, have just given me an absolutely smashing idea for an LBP level. Or a horror movie, the quite lengthy quilt of points you just knitted has room for both.

2011-11-17 23:57:00 Author: grayspence Posts: 1990

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You sir, have just given me an absolutely smashing idea for an LBP level. Or a horror movie, the quite lengthy quilt of points you just knitted has room for both. Just be sure I get all potential royalties for your LBP level. ... ... You do get paid for LBP levels right? Enough to make me a millionaire? ;-;

2011-11-18 00:00:00 Author: RockSauron Posts: 10882

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Nicholas Was... older than sin, and his beard could grow no whiter. He wanted to die. The dwarfish natives of the Arctic caverns did not speak his language, but conversed in their own, twittering tongue, conducted incomprehensible rituals, when they were not actually working in the factories. Once every year they forced him, sobbing and protesting, into Endless Night. During the journey he would stand near every child in the world, leave one of the dwarves' invisible gifts by its bedside. The children slept, frozen into time. He envied Prometheus and Loki, Sisyphus and Judas. His punishment was harsher. Ho. Ho. Ho. Neil Gaiman

2011-11-18 00:42:00 Author: Macnme Posts: 1970

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Just be sure I get all potential royalties for your LBP level. ... ... You do get paid for LBP levels right? Enough to make me a millionaire? ;-; Ill be sure to slap a big ol' "COPYRIGHT: Rocksauron.Ltd. All rights reserved." At the end of it.

2011-11-18 14:39:00 Author: grayspence Posts: 1990

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Ill be sure to slap a big ol' "COPYRIGHT: Rocksauron.Ltd. All rights reserved." At the end of it. Meaning I get all the profits, right?

2011-11-18 14:57:00 Author: RockSauron Posts: 10882

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Santa was real. Now he's dead. Cool Story Bro

2011-11-19 00:55:00 Author: KILLA_TODDZILLA Posts: 653

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Anyway. So, the plan is simple: We kill Santa, and bring down his operation so our corporate overlords can have their money. Then, we kill all the elves to prevent the possibility of a war between man and elf. Any questions? GOOD. I think the elves have to be anihilated first. See, once Santa's mind control is gone they'll rebel instantaneously, now being able to use their magic powers (which they've been using only to make presents all the time) to harm humanity. BUT! Iff you start killing them first, Santa will have the opportunity to prepare and declare war anyway. We get screwed either way. Maybe he'll even rally the esquimos to his side. See, this is why Genghis Khan, Napoleon, and Hitler all failed to invade the North Pole. The only solution? We nuke 'em from orbit. It's the only way to be sure. Game over man, game over!

2011-11-19 03:44:00 Author: SnipySev Posts: 2452

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I think the elves have to be anihilated first. See, once Santa's mind control is gone they'll rebel instantaneously, now being able to use their magic powers (which they've been using only to make presents all the time) to harm humanity. BUT! Iff you start killing them first, Santa will have the opportunity to prepare and declare war anyway. We get screwed either way. Maybe he'll even rally the esquimos to his side. See, this is why Genghis Khan, Napoleon, and Hitler all failed to invade the North Pole. The only solution? We nuke 'em from orbit. It's the only way to be sure. Game over man, game over! ... I know Russia's bloody cold, but it's far from the North Pole. Sides. Why would Santa, a capitalist communist, live in Russia? that makes no sense! Everyone knows the capitalist communists live in China.

2011-11-19 03:47:00 Author: RockSauron Posts: 10882

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... I know Russia's bloody cold, but it's far from the North Pole. Sides. Why would Santa, a capitalist communist, live in Russia? that makes no sense! Everyone knows the capitalist communists live in China. Actually, the land that he is determined to live in is in dispute between the USA, Canada, Russia, and some other countries. Canada however has deemed him a Canadian citizen, so I think it's safe to assume that he's a Canadian capital communist. **** Canadians.

2011-11-19 05:22:00 Author: Testudini Posts: 3262

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So if Canada ever gets involved in a war... Their main threat will be as follows: NO MORE PRESENTS FOR YOOOUUUU!!!!!

2011-11-19 07:32:00 Author: jalr2d2 Posts: 256

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So if Canada ever gets involved in a war... Their main threat will be as follows: NO MORE PRESENTS FOR YOOOUUUU!!!!! And no more lovely poutine and maple syrup Canadians are good folk, man. They're just chilling out in their country (both figuratively and literally). Why would they get into a war? They're like a peaceful and chilled out version of the United States. The only horrible thing that came out of Canada is Justin Bieber and he kind of hangs out in the US all the time. Aww, man. I want to be a Canadian now.

2011-11-19 14:25:00 Author: SnipySev Posts: 2452

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Actually, the land that he is determined to live in is in dispute between the USA, Canada, Russia, and some other countries. Canada however has deemed him a Canadian citizen, so I think it's safe to assume that he's a Canadian capital communist. **** Canadians. Yes, but they still invaded Russia, not the North Pole. Hence his hair is a bird.

2011-11-19 15:52:00 Author: RockSauron Posts: 10882

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Yeah, sure, Santa's real. /sarcasm

2011-11-28 00:35:00 Author: ALEXhatena Posts: 1110

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Actually, the land that he is determined to live in is in dispute between the USA, Canada, Russia, and some other countries. Canada however has deemed him a Canadian citizen, so I think it's safe to assume that he's a Canadian capital communist. **** Canadians. All polar regions are owned by Britain, in fact Canada also belongs to Britain so it doesn't make a difference. And I'm guessing you're posting from America which, again, is owned by Britain (along with all the oceans and most of the land mass of the planet).

2011-11-28 12:48:00 Author: Ayneh Posts: 2454

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And I'm guessing you're posting from America which, again, is owned by Britain (along with all the oceans and most of the land mass of the planet). I think your information might be slightly out of date.

2011-11-28 15:50:00 Author: Rabid-Coot Posts: 6728

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I think your information might be slightly out of date. It looks like they have successfully brainwashed you. You see, all that revolutionary war stuff was just a ruse to dupe us into believing that we were no longer a part of Britain. They did that just so we would feel happier. In reality, Britain owns the entire earth except the North Pole, and they control us through a system very similar to that brainwashing stuff from CoD Black Ops. Once Santa is at his most vulnerable, our British overlords are going to activate a signal that will trigger the attack sequence that they planted into our minds before birth, and start the Polar Invasion. See, this is why they pumped Jimi Hendrix, Elvis, and other famous people full of drugs, and messed with MJ's brain. They figured out the truth, but The Man found out and got rid of them before they could tell Santa. In fact, every war in the past 100 years has actually originated from this conflict. Hitler and those other dictators were actually Brits who were in on the master plan, but wanted to act on it too soon. So, in order to keep the Santa from learning of this plot, the rest of our British overlords had to silence the trouble makers. It's all connected man! Where's my LSD....

2011-11-28 18:52:00 Author: RagTagPwner Posts: 344

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May be it will be in the real life some years ago or it is just an imagination of the peoples....

2011-12-12 06:04:00 Author: Unknown User

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And I'm guessing you're posting from America which, again, is owned by Britain China and Wall Street Fixed that for ya.

2011-12-12 09:08:00 Author: Bremnen Posts: 1800

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He's definitely real. I sat on his knee at the Merry Hill shopping centre last week. I think he listens to our christmas wishes too, because he gave me the Hello Kitty plushie I was secretly hoping for.

2011-12-12 09:20:00 Author: Ungreth Posts: 2130

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Santa is a conspiracy. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ivC_dbncXI4)

2011-12-19 02:54:00 Author: 49er Nation Posts: 429

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He's definitely real. I sat on his knee at the Merry Hill shopping centre last week. Santa used to go to Merry Hill shoping centre, then he took an Ungreth to the knee... ...I just had to say it. xD

2011-12-19 06:10:00 Author: Silverleon Posts: 6707

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It looks like they have successfully brainwashed you. You see, all that revolutionary war stuff was just a ruse to dupe us into believing that we were no longer a part of Britain. They did that just so we would feel happier. In reality, Britain owns the entire earth except the North Pole, and they control us through a system very similar to that brainwashing stuff from CoD Black Ops. Can't tell if serious or not... [

2011-12-19 20:10:00 Author: lark98-2 Posts: 116

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Santa is real, but no one is good enough to get presents from him. Our parents feel bad for us, and they buy them presents in his name, so we think that we're good kids.

2011-12-19 23:14:00 Author: Jaslow Posts: 775

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http://images.sodahead.com/polls/001641577/1715845552_tn_memes_no_face_of_course_not_answer_2 _xlarge.jpeg 'Nuff said.

2011-12-21 21:38:00 Author: Sackpapoi Posts: 1195

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I regret to inform you that I was mistaken. Yes, Virginia, there IS a Santa Clause. Or should I say there WAS. Allow me to explain myself. As I was struggling to make it past the Holidays in my mountain overlooking Whoville, my dog, Max, brought me a piece of cheese. I was curious as to what this strange concoction was, as I only ever feast on the blood of my enemies. While I was casting evil spells on this new object in an attempt to alleviate my boredom, Max brought me something else- something I believe you people refer to as "chock lot". Well, there was a lot of it, and I chocked it all at Max for bothering me. At any rate, after I finished my transformation of Max from Dog to Dinner, I returned to the Cheese and Chock Late to find a rather disturbing individual. Why, I could see right through this majestic creature! She referred to herself as Queen Elizabeth of England, who had been transfigured by the evil French King, Louis Cheesefon, into a Ghost via a process known only as decapitation. When I subjected Her Majesty to my theory pertaining to the existence of ghosts, namely their lack of existence, she screamed a blood curdling shriek (or at least I assume it to be, as I have no blood of which to curdle) and transformed into a Seven Headed Dragon. Having recently eaten my dear pet, I decided to adopt this majestic creature, naming Her "Max II". Max II and I reigned fire from the heavens, and all the Whos down in Whoville awoke to find naught but the sweet embrace of death. Having finally ridden myself of those pesky Whos, I came to the conclusion that a seven headed dragon must better befitted an evil warlord then a dog. I had never been more happy in my life, and as such decided to share my joy with all the world. I decided to do so via carnage and destruction. However, before I could reach Metropolis to wage war against that funny man with the red underwear, I came across a sight most unusual. For there before me, upon a sleigh carried by nine angelic beasts, stood a fat, plump man with a loo of determination in his eyes. Santa Claus. Now, imagine my surprise! Here, as I was about to deliver my joy upon all the land, this fat man deigned it within his right to come out of hiding and stop me! I was merely doing the job he has never done! The empty tomb that would have encased my heart had I not crawled from the very pits of Tartarus filled with rage as this fat, old man explained that only HE could fly around the world and have his way with the people. He thus proposed a deal- he would allow me to live in exchange for my delightful creature, Max II. Before I could order Max II to shoot this beast from the heavens, I looked down to find she had vanished. I began falling as that dreadful man laughed. And yet... all was not lost. For I had somehow acquired wings. I flew straight up at that old, fat man, scaring him as he saw wings where they should not have been. He let out one last yelp as I separated his head from his torso, and I reveled in this delightful new taste. I had never tasted a finer man. After consuming the last bit of this creature, I mocked his laughter with my own as I put on his hat and took the reigns of his sleight. I let out a cackle as I pulled on the reigns, sending his beasts off into the night sky, ready to destroy all who opposed me. So you see, Virginia, there IS a Santa Claus. He has just been brutally murdered and eaten by a twisted demon who will gladly share his version of Christmas Cheer with all the world. So you better watch out, Virgina... Cause RockSauron is coming to town. Merry Christmas.

2011-12-29 20:44:00 Author: RockSauron Posts: 10882

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Yes, Virginia, there IS a Santa Clause. Or should I say there WAS. Allow me to explain myself. Weird.. he stopped by my house. We had a few shots of whiskey and cracked some jokes about elves. Really nice guy!

2011-12-29 21:35:00 Author: jwwphotos Posts: 11383

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I regret to inform you that I was mistaken. Yes, Virginia, there IS a Santa Clause. Or should I say there WAS. Allow me to explain myself... Merry Christmas. O_O Cannot unread.

2011-12-30 03:09:00 Author: 49er Nation Posts: 429

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O_O Cannot unread. Well, obviously not. You have already read it, and to undo this action would require time travel. As such, if you actually undid the action of which you have stated, you would undermine modern physics. You don't want the blood of physics on your hands, do you now?

2011-12-30 03:13:00 Author: RockSauron Posts: 10882

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His existance lies on the fate of your belief.

2011-12-30 06:00:00 Author: xtremesackboy Posts: 479

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I regret to inform you that I was mistaken. Yes, Virginia, there IS a Santa Clause. Or should I say there WAS. Allow me to explain myself. As I was struggling to make it past the Holidays in my mountain overlooking Whoville, my dog, Max, brought me a piece of cheese. I was curious as to what this strange concoction was, as I only ever feast on the blood of my enemies. While I was casting evil spells on this new object in an attempt to alleviate my boredom, Max brought me something else- something I believe you people refer to as "chock lot". Well, there was a lot of it, and I chocked it all at Max for bothering me. At any rate, after I finished my transformation of Max from Dog to Dinner, I returned to the Cheese and Chock Late to find a rather disturbing individual. Why, I could see right through this majestic creature! She referred to herself as Queen Elizabeth of England, who had been transfigured by the evil French King, Louis Cheesefon, into a Ghost via a process known only as decapitation. When I subjected Her Majesty to my theory pertaining to the existence of ghosts, namely their lack of existence, she screamed a blood curdling shriek (or at least I assume it to be, as I have no blood of which to curdle) and transformed into a Seven Headed Dragon. Having recently eaten my dear pet, I decided to adopt this majestic creature, naming Her "Max II". Max II and I reigned fire from the heavens, and all the Whos down in Whoville awoke to find naught but the sweet embrace of death. Having finally ridden myself of those pesky Whos, I came to the conclusion that a seven headed dragon must better befitted an evil warlord then a dog. I had never been more happy in my life, and as such decided to share my joy with all the world. I decided to do so via carnage and destruction. However, before I could reach Metropolis to wage war against that funny man with the red underwear, I came across a sight most unusual. For there before me, upon a sleigh carried by nine angelic beasts, stood a fat, plump man with a loo of determination in his eyes. Santa Claus. Now, imagine my surprise! Here, as I was about to deliver my joy upon all the land, this fat man deigned it within his right to come out of hiding and stop me! I was merely doing the job he has never done! The empty tomb that would have encased my heart had I not crawled from the very pits of Tartarus filled with rage as this fat, old man explained that only HE could fly around the world and have his way with the people. He thus proposed a deal- he would allow me to live in exchange for my delightful creature, Max II. Before I could order Max II to shoot this beast from the heavens, I looked down to find she had vanished. I began falling as that dreadful man laughed. And yet... all was not lost. For I had somehow acquired wings. I flew straight up at that old, fat man, scaring him as he saw wings where they should not have been. He let out one last yelp as I separated his head from his torso, and I reveled in this delightful new taste. I had never tasted a finer man. After consuming the last bit of this creature, I mocked his laughter with my own as I put on his hat and took the reigns of his sleight. I let out a cackle as I pulled on the reigns, sending his beasts off into the night sky, ready to destroy all who opposed me. So you see, Virginia, there IS a Santa Claus. He has just been brutally murdered and eaten by a twisted demon who will gladly share his version of Christmas Cheer with all the world. So you better watch out, Virgina... Cause RockSauron is coming to town. Merry Christmas. I don't wanna start anything but this.... I just couldn't remain silent about my opinion. You could have just left it at "Santa isn't real" instead of all this. It's not really a great joke since you were obviously aiming for some kind of humorous view for others. You didn't have to go into all that non-sense seeing as this is a family site and some kids on here.

2011-12-30 08:37:00 Author: Unknown User

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I don't wanna start anything but this.... I just couldn't remain silent about my opinion. You could have just left it at "Santa isn't real" instead of all this. It's not really a great joke since you were obviously aiming for some kind of humorous view for others. You didn't have to go into all that non-sense seeing as this is a family site and some kids on here. Maybe overreacting... just a tiny bit?

2011-12-30 16:37:00 Author: SnipySev Posts: 2452

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Praise Rawk. Resolved.

2011-12-30 17:50:00 Author: Incinerator22 Posts: 3251

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One I classify as delightful, artistic, and original Original? You DO know I copy pastae-d that word for word from 4chan, right? Cause I don't. Cause I totally wrote that all by myself. Ah well. Writing that was the most fun I've had in a while. Maybe I'll take up writing bizarre stories for a hobby :/ Regardless, Artistic? In the same vein that no one ever knows what is happening in modern art, I suppose my mind is a bastion of artistic ingenuity. And worms. At any rate, I find it quite peculiar that you took issue with that story, with there having been four pages preceding it where I argued that a beloved children's character is a pedophile and fascist who enslaves a race of tiny creatures in order to rid the rest of humanity of the elven pestilence. *Sniff*... What a hero... And what an entree... Mmmmmmmm...

2011-12-30 18:01:00 Author: RockSauron Posts: 10882

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Well, maybe I did take that to a higher level of offense than I should have. I apologize for that. But I still think the story, the 4 pages of the Santa bashing ( ) is a little much? Taking Santa's Magic and logic literal? Why don't you just let him believe in Santa? Sorry again for the over-reaction there Rock.

2011-12-31 02:48:00 Author: Unknown User

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Eh.. Just play this series and you'll know if he's real or not. > >> http://lbp.me/v/8nbf52 <<

2012-01-01 00:11:00 Author: Joey Posts: 758

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eh.. Just play this series and you'll know if he's real or not. >:d >> http://lbp.me/v/8nbf52 << Banned for advertising

2012-01-02 12:37:00 Author: nysudyrgh Posts: 5482

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I hope not, because is anyone else creeped out by the idea of a total stranger, WHO IS FAT, squeezing himself down your chimney just to leave presents and eat cookies. I am.

2012-01-04 02:35:00 Author: Klak_334 Posts: 59

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"If Santa was real... he would be the biggest unlawful trespasser in history!" - Miles Edgeworth

2012-01-04 05:14:00 Author: Fang Posts: 578

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Holy sh... I found out Santa Claus' secret identity! So, Santa Santa gives presents to the children of the world according to who is 'naughty' or 'nice', and he gets these presents from the elves who work for free and live in a commune with him at the north pole... http://i635.photobucket.com/albums/uu78/SnipySev/SantaMarx.jpg Karl Marx didn't die! He faked his own death and became Santa Claus!

2012-01-09 22:16:00 Author: SnipySev Posts: 2452

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Banned for advertising Wrong thread much?

2012-01-16 00:12:00 Author: 49er Nation Posts: 429

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Nope. Just Chuck Testa.

2012-01-16 00:31:00 Author: JspOt Posts: 3607

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What's wrong with the idea of some benevolent soul being everywhere in pretty much the same time, knowing when we're asleep, what we're thinking, and judging every single move of ours? (It's funny how stupid these ideas sound, taken out of context.) He's dead. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saint_Nicholas) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wjRvkPazwAI

2012-01-16 09:57:00 Author: Weretigr Posts: 2105

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How can you doubt on his existence? http://www.bloggerheads.com/images/satan_claus.jpg

2012-01-16 12:22:00 Author: Schark94 Posts: 3378

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