Archive: 45 posts

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So let's say there's a mystical creature called a shmoo. These creatures have the ability to turn into basic needs like food and clothing, but never luxuries. Plus, they multiply constantly automatically so they never run out! Holy moly! Imagine never having to worry about necessities again! So what do you guys think? If shmoos existed, should everyone have them? Should we limit it to certain people, or just get rid of them entirely?

2011-10-10 20:35:00 Author: Foofles Posts: 2278

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Will they do homework? If so WoooooooooooHoooooooooo! Go Schmoos! Still, how did you think this up? Its so random .

2011-10-10 20:39:00 Author: craigmond Posts: 2426

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Assuming that they can be wiped out, as you said it was theoretically possible to get rid of them, then that would logically mean that they could be controlled, i.e. wiped out in all but a few locations. Seeing as such, it would only be logical to assume that, given man's penchant for greed, they would be rounded up by corporations and sold on the mass market. This would be a boon to the corporations, as, because these "Shmoos" never need to be maintained, there is no need to pay any workers to manufacture them. Thus, they can get even more of the profit without paying any workers. Ah capitalism <3

2011-10-10 20:41:00 Author: RockSauron Posts: 10882

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Assuming that they can be wiped out, as you said it was theoretically possible to get rid of them, then that would logically mean that they could be controlled, i.e. wiped out in all but a few locations. Seeing as such, it would only be logical to assume that, given man's penchant for greed, they would be rounded up by corporations and sold on the mass market. This would be a boon to the corporations, as, because these "Shmoos" never need to be maintained, there is no need to pay any workers to manufacture them. Thus, they can get even more of the profit without paying any workers. Ah capitalism <3 Don't ruin the dream

2011-10-10 20:44:00 Author: craigmond Posts: 2426

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Assuming that they can be wiped out, as you said it was theoretically possible to get rid of them, then that would logically mean that they could be controlled, i.e. wiped out in all but a few locations. Seeing as such, it would only be logical to assume that, given man's penchant for greed, they would be rounded up by corporations and sold on the mass market. This would be a boon to the corporations, as, because these "Shmoos" never need to be maintained, there is no need to pay any workers to manufacture them. Thus, they can get even more of the profit without paying any workers. Ah capitalism <3 Indeed! But... if nobody's working, how can anyone afford shmoos? And on the other end of the coin - if people have a shmoo, what's to say they'll keep working if they can just shmoo their breakfast onto their plate every morning?

2011-10-10 20:47:00 Author: Foofles Posts: 2278

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Indeed! But... if nobody's working, how can anyone afford shmoos? And on the other end of the coin - if people have a shmoo, what's to say they'll keep working if they can just shmoo their breakfast onto their plate every morning? The fact that there is a hell of a lot more that one can achieve for in life then the "most basic necessities", and they'd be able to work to achieve more then just trying to survive if they were able to take care of their primal instincts? It's not like anyone WANTS to just sit around and have everything spoonfed to them without having to work for it. You don't have to make them work to get the materials to survive on a subsistence level in order to get them to "work harder" to get the stuff in life the big corporations spoonfeed them on TV that they need to be cool.

2011-10-10 20:54:00 Author: RockSauron Posts: 10882

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I suppose they should only be given to people who have proven themselves responsible.

2011-10-10 20:58:00 Author: craigmond Posts: 2426

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What if you need some string?

2011-10-10 21:07:00 Author: Rabid-Coot Posts: 6728

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The law of unintented consequences is a terrible thing. Would we all become like the shipmates from Wall-E? Grossly obese, wearing our shmoos like a muumuu? Would we breed rampantly, out of control - no longer having to worry how we're going to feed or clothe our children? the shmoos would do it. We'd quickly run out of places to live. Luxuries like TVs and Playstations would become unaffordable once the global economy collapses - because we can't pay poor people poor wages to make expensive luxury goods anymore... they don't want to work in those rubbish jobs now that they don't need to struggle to feed and clothe themselves anymore - they also want TV's and Playstations... only who's going to make them? Shmoos may seem like a good idea, and they are... they would solve alot of problems....but they would also create alot of problems.

2011-10-10 21:10:00 Author: Macnme Posts: 1970

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I suppose they should only be given to people who have proven themselves responsible. Por Que? It's supposed to be an infinite resource. Are we trying to kill off all the poor people so that only worthwhile people are alive? Why would we need to ration off an infinite resource? It's not like it's luxuries- it would just be basic needs like bread and clothing, not PS3s or iPods. Why would we need to make people need to prove they are worthy of living? How would we decide who has proven themselves worthy of life and who needs to prove themselves responsible? Death panels? Unless you mean the people giving it out... if it was the government, then it would be socialism, which is forbidden by the constitution. And if it was corporations, then it would just go back to my prior point. If it was organizations, then who would appoint said organizations? The government? Nah, not their job to regulate commerce. The U.N.? The AnitChrist. God? He has done a swell job picking people to do things up till now. So if you meant to give it out, the only logical possibility would be whoever can control it first... aka the corporation. OH YEAH :kz:

2011-10-10 21:10:00 Author: RockSauron Posts: 10882

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what if they were like a communicable fungal infection, so that no one is distributing them, or controlling the supply... they just occur naturally where ever there are people... there would obviously be a kind of symbiotic relationship between shmoos and humans. This would also have the benefit that the idea of eating or wearing someone elses shmoo would be disgusting

2011-10-10 21:19:00 Author: Macnme Posts: 1970

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If basic needs were taken care of then why people work would have to change, basic needs would have to be replaced with an ideal to work towards which would logically be getting into space asap. Since food is no longer necessary to produce the extra labour could be put into mining and stripping the planet of resources to advance humanity as quickly as possible along with a larger investment in intellect and science.

2011-10-10 23:00:00 Author: Ayneh Posts: 2454

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These creatures have the ability to turn into basic needs like food and clothing, So, they're like cows and sheep?

2011-10-10 23:23:00 Author: rtm223 Posts: 6497

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So, they're like cows and sheep? ...and chicken and pigs and squids...

2011-10-10 23:54:00 Author: gdn001 Posts: 5891

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...and chicken and pigs and squids... Thats some weird fashion sense you've got there bucko

2011-10-11 00:05:00 Author: rtm223 Posts: 6497

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If Shmoos don't make luxury goods is that like what VAT is put on so they'll still make digestive biscuits? Because I love digestive biscuits.

2011-10-11 00:05:00 Author: Ayneh Posts: 2454

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Why did I automatically think Shmoos looked like horses? No idea... I think people often need more than just their basic needs met. I mean, can these things love? I'm pretty sure that's a basic need too. Can they protect you from harm? I'd like to think that although these mystical, horse like creatures would be useful in third world countries, galloping from problem to problem, they'd be made redundant here in Western Society - we always want more! I also think that most of the human race, on the whole, needs to work - we have to do something to give ourselves a purpose, and then feel rewarded by what we get in return. I'm just saying, that even if I won a million pounds, I'd like to think that I'd still work in some shape or form - such as volunteering or just doing the career I want to do. I'd like to think... in reality, it may be very different...

2011-10-11 00:29:00 Author: standby250 Posts: 1113

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I'm in the Shmoos for everyone! All will have shmoos! camp. But then we have to look back at Rock's post. Does everyone undoubtedly get shmoos, or do they end up being controlled by a small group of people to be distributed at their discretion? Going along with the former, If there are people who want to be useless to society and let their schmoos do everything for them, then hell, I say let 'em. With an attitude like that I don't think I want them contributing to society, they'll probably be dead soon enough anyway, what with a lifestyle like that. On the other hand, with all the basic necessities taken care of, people will be given complete freedom to embark on whatever work they want. I think that would be a pretty amazing world. Shmoos may seem like a good idea, and they are... they would solve alot of problems....but they would also create alot of problems. I would say it's the people who are the problem, not the shmoos. Why did I automatically think Shmoos looked like horses? No idea... I instantly imagined them to look like Ditto

2011-10-11 00:58:00 Author: SR20DETDOG Posts: 2431

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Thank you FluffyFoof for this amusing and oh so interesting and a bit scary thread! I love reading what you guys have posted. Now for my point of view. Of course it would be worth an economical breakdown and no more playstations and other luxury items as the price for ending world hunger. But this really made me think what a screwed up world we live in, where we need the poor and hungry to do us people in the wests dirty work... But anyways... this would mean we had to build our own playstations then. And why not? We sure would have the time. Or maybe we'd rather sit and watch the shmoos all day?

2011-10-11 07:26:00 Author: leklack Posts: 26

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http://images.cheezburger.com/completestore/2011/10/11/7b3282e4-35b3-4e67-bb70-e93b8b2e40c0.jpg YES.

2011-10-11 08:16:00 Author: tomodon246 Posts: 624

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http://deniskitchen.com/docs/bios/bios.shmoo.bw.jpg Shmoo...as google find it. Made it pink and O_________________O" I'm for giving it to the unemployed.

2011-10-11 08:58:00 Author: OmegaSlayer Posts: 5112

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More Info about Shmoos - this can't be a coincidence! I'd love one though - Shmoos for all! A shmoo is shaped like a plump bowling pin with legs. It has smooth skin, eyebrows and sparse whiskers—but no arms, nose or ears. Its feet are short and round but dexterous, as the shmoo's comic book adventures make clear. It has a rich gamut of facial expressions, and often expresses love by exuding hearts over its head. Cartoonist Al Capp ascribed to the shmoo the following curious characteristics. His satirical intent should be evident: They reproduce asexually and are incredibly prolific, multiplying exponentially faster than rabbits. They require no sustenance other than air. Naturally gentle, they require minimal care, and are ideal playmates for young children. Shmoos are delicious to eat, and are eager to be eaten. If a human looks at one hungrily, it will happily immolate itself—either by jumping into a frying pan, after which they taste like chicken, or into a broiling pan, after which they taste like steak. When roasted they taste like pork, and when baked they taste like catfish. (Raw, they taste like oysters on the half-shell.) They also produce eggs (neatly packaged), milk (bottled, grade-A), and butter—no churning required. Their pelts make perfect bootleather or house timber, depending on how thick you slice it. They have no bones, so there's absolutely no waste. Their eyes make the best suspender buttons, and their whiskers make perfect toothpicks. In short, they are simply the perfect ideal of a subsistence agricultural herd animal. The frolicking of shmoon is so entertaining (such as their staged "shmoosical comedies") that people no longer feel the need to watch television or go to the movies. Some of the more tasty varieties of shmoo are more difficult to catch. Usually shmoo hunters, now a sport in some parts of the country, utilize a paper bag, flashlight and stick to capture their shmoos. At night the light stuns them, then they can be whacked in the head with the stick and put in the bag for frying up later on.

2011-10-11 14:26:00 Author: standby250 Posts: 1113

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Why did I automatically think Shmoos looked like horses? No idea... I got the feeling they looked like Trumbles (http://wiki.alioth.net/index.php/Trumble)...

2011-10-11 14:52:00 Author: Ayneh Posts: 2454

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I was picturing them more as a kind of fungal spore.... like a symbiant parasite... it grows in your stomach providing you with all of the nutrients you need - and coats your body in furry fungal strands - protecting you from the elements. Hmmm , that kind of thing might actually be worth genetically engineering to become a reality.

2011-10-11 15:58:00 Author: Macnme Posts: 1970

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...they multiply constantly automatically... Sounds like the ultimate doomsday device to me. Ask me again after we've all been crushed to death by a near-infinite number of shmoos, or assuming they don't violate the laws of physics, the shmoo equivalent of grey goo (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Grey_goo). If, on the other hand, it was just an unsually bizarre metaphor for proposed changes to the current welfare system, then all I'd propose would be to restrict payouts for those exploiters who try to live off the state for free by having lots and lots of children, i.e. the human equivalent of grey goo.

2011-10-11 18:13:00 Author: Aya042 Posts: 2870

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If, on the other hand, it was just an unsually bizarre metaphor for proposed changes to the current welfare system, then all I'd propose would be to restrict payouts for those exploiters who try to live off the state for free by having lots and lots of children, i.e. the human equivalent of grey goo. I've yet to meet someone who actually thinks that way... ie; Hmmm, I need more money - I know! I'll get pregnant and have another child for some of that sweet welfare dosh!.... only I'll need to wait 9 months, go through a painfull pregnancy - and then hope that the welfare money covers the cost of basic things like nappy's/food/toys/babysitters/schooling etc... It's not a very efficient way of making money TBH. And I'm more of the opinion that if the cost of a welfare system is to have a tiny percentage of scroungers (Money-wise, there are more legitimate welfare benefits that go unclaimed than are paid out through false claims) - then so be it... it's worth that cost. Aside: Hooray for Socialism! (http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2011/aug/07/nhs-among-most-efficient-health-services)

2011-10-11 18:36:00 Author: Macnme Posts: 1970

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I've yet to meet someone who actually thinks that way... Same, but it does happen (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1293730/Somali-asylum-seeker-family-given-2m-house--complaining-5-bed-London-home-poor-area.html). N.B. the link points to the "Daily Scare" - I had difficulty finding the story in a 'proper' newspaper, so ignore the spin, although it's not that dissimiar from the BBC TV News broadcast where I first saw it.

2011-10-11 19:05:00 Author: Aya042 Posts: 2870

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Are the Shmoos nutritious? Do they give you all the vitamins, minerals and so on that you need to function properly? Also, to prevent people from getting fat and lazy in general, they should implement a "catch your own dinner" activity. No food until you get your proper exercice!

2011-10-11 19:14:00 Author: moonwire Posts: 1627

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I've yet to meet someone who actually thinks that way... Come to East London! You'll find people like that everywhere!

2011-10-11 19:21:00 Author: standby250 Posts: 1113

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Everyone would be given just enough Shmoos to survive. Not any quantity under or over the essential. If someone wanted more, he/she would have to buy ordinary goods. Luxury goods boom because people don't have to buy their basic needs, so all money can go to superfluous things. The only flaw is: Who is going to take care of the Shmoos?

2011-10-11 19:22:00 Author: gdn001 Posts: 5891

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Everyone would be given just enough Shmoos to survive. Not any quantity under or over the essential. If someone wanted more, he/she would have to buy ordinary goods. Luxury goods boom because people don't have to buy their basic needs, so all money can go to superfluous things. The only flaw is: Who is going to take care of the Shmoos? The shmoos pretty much take care of themselves, they require minimal care, so it shouldn't be too much of a problem. People could even be hired as shmoo tenders

2011-10-11 19:55:00 Author: moonwire Posts: 1627

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Look LOOOOOOOOOOOK! I found a pretty well disguesed one! O_____O" (http://www.lbpcentral.com/forums/member.php?9269-schm0)

2011-10-12 06:55:00 Author: OmegaSlayer Posts: 5112

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Thanks for all the replies Yup, I did base this poll on the shmoos from Al Capp's comics.

2011-10-12 09:41:00 Author: Foofles Posts: 2278

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This would be brilliant for all the homeless people out there, apart from that I think it would be irresponsible to hand them out to everyone due to possible collapse of the economy and so on.

2011-10-12 23:01:00 Author: abyssalassassin Posts: 717

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Look LOOOOOOOOOOOK! I found a pretty well disguesed one! O_____O" (http://www.lbpcentral.com/forums/member.php?9269-schm0) I resemble that remark.

2011-10-12 23:58:00 Author: schm0 Posts: 1239

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Wait... So what if you needed a house... This tiny little thing is going to turn into a house for me? Because a house is shelter. And a shelter is a necessity. And a necessity is not a luxury. Everyone would be given just enough Shmoos to survive. Not any quantity under or over the essential. If someone wanted more, he/she would have to buy ordinary goods. Luxury goods boom because people don't have to buy their basic needs, so all money can go to superfluous things. The only flaw is: Who is going to take care of the Shmoos? Well, we can just Shmoo a Shmoo some Shmoo food.

2011-10-13 04:28:00 Author: Speedynutty68 Posts: 1614

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I resemble that remark. O___O please, I I I...want hm... AND AND AND...chicken

2011-10-13 06:21:00 Author: OmegaSlayer Posts: 5112

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Unemployed only i say!

2011-10-13 17:19:00 Author: Valeview Posts: 1581

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The thing about this is, would people be motivated to work again if they have schmoos? I mean, they might eventually but I guarantee it would be slower. Also, would it replace welfare (I don't know what they have in any country besides America) or would it be an add on. Because, if it was an add on. People could use welfare money on luxuries and schmoos on food. Essentially prospering without doing anything. And if schmoos went to the homeless, would they be taken away as soon as they made a home for the homeless person? Or would they stay? People might then become homeless intentionelly just for a while so they can have a schmoo. Then they can quit their job and get welfare and not do anything. And if they were taken away, would the homeless person then have to pay for electricity and water and other things? Or would they get schmoos again by quitting their job (if they have one) and prosper without doing anything? And if it wasn't an add on, but a replacement, then people still would be able to get a small, short job just so they can buy stuff and have the schmoo take care of everything else. And if the scmoo took care of electricity and water would the respective companies be payed by the schmoo (Do they generate money.) or will the schmoo make electricity and water, causing the companies to go bankrupt? And then, if they made money, we would have double or even triple didget inflation and money would soon become worthless. The goverment would have to change currency as the dollar (Or yen or mark or pound) would be worth nothing. Everything would cost so much, you would have to have to carry money in wheelbarrows. The government would probably outlaw schmoos and people would run out of money and we would have the worst depression in history. So I think no one should get schmoos.

2011-10-13 18:24:00 Author: jalr2d2 Posts: 256

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They should be given to people that appreciate the fact that if you say "shmoo" like Sean Connery it sounds EPIC. Even more epic than it sounds normally, anyway.

2011-10-13 21:46:00 Author: Gavin Posts: 338

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The thing about this is, would people be motivated to work again if they have schmoos? I mean, they might eventually but I guarantee it would be slower. Also, would it replace welfare (I don't know what they have in any country besides America) or would it be an add on. Because, if it was an add on. People could use welfare money on luxuries and schmoos on food. Essentially prospering without doing anything. And if schmoos went to the homeless, would they be taken away as soon as they made a home for the homeless person? Or would they stay? People might then become homeless intentionelly just for a while so they can have a schmoo. Then they can quit their job and get welfare and not do anything. And if they were taken away, would the homeless person then have to pay for electricity and water and other things? Or would they get schmoos again by quitting their job (if they have one) and prosper without doing anything? And if it wasn't an add on, but a replacement, then people still would be able to get a small, short job just so they can buy stuff and have the schmoo take care of everything else. And if the scmoo took care of electricity and water would the respective companies be payed by the schmoo (Do they generate money.) or will the schmoo make electricity and water, causing the companies to go bankrupt? And then, if they made money, we would have double or even triple didget inflation and money would soon become worthless. The goverment would have to change currency as the dollar (Or yen or mark or pound) would be worth nothing. Everything would cost so much, you would have to have to carry money in wheelbarrows. The government would probably outlaw schmoos and people would run out of money and we would have the worst depression in history. So I think no one should get schmoos. In specific, if given to the poor residing in 3rd world countries, say, Africa, the creatures would greatly benefit the world. Also, once a schmoo had given a set amount of necessary provisions to a family, that ability/those abilities could maybe be restricted/limited/deleted by surgery/drugs so it was incapable of producing another one. If a schmoo had given off enough goods to that family, it would therefore in effect be neutered and would then make a fantastic pet. Everyone wins!

2011-10-13 23:45:00 Author: abyssalassassin Posts: 717

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Because everyone is going to hand in their "everything I need maker" in to be neutralized. It'll go off without a hitch. (And yes, I am being the devils advocate.)

2011-10-14 04:13:00 Author: jalr2d2 Posts: 256

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knowing humanity, they are just gonna kill them all and use there hides for panties.

2011-10-16 14:19:00 Author: Cactii Posts: 426

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Now this is starting to sound like a Dr. Seuss book.

2011-10-16 17:48:00 Author: Sackpapoi Posts: 1195

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As long as they could be controlled, they could usher in a new era of world peace.

2011-10-17 01:28:00 Author: xero Posts: 2419

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