Archive: 369 posts

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I find the whole thing too confusing to care about. You are going to be executed in 5 minutes.

2008-09-27 19:53:00 Author: Rabid-Coot Posts: 6728

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Betten than being executed in 4 minutes and 59 seconds. You get your hand stuck in the cookie jar.

2008-09-27 19:58:00 Author: Unknown User

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I break the jar with a hammer. The Sun dies.

2008-09-27 20:02:00 Author: Rabid-Coot Posts: 6728

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And with that a new Sun is born. This new Sun is 3 times as large and causes the Earth to get extreme sunlight and heat.

2008-09-27 20:04:00 Author: Unknown User

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Solar power becomes very cost effective. you superglue your hand to the desk.

2008-09-27 20:07:00 Author: Rabid-Coot Posts: 6728

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Good thing its your prosthetic one, so you cut it off. You have to explain to your boss why your hand is cut off and glued to a desk.

2008-09-27 20:11:00 Author: Unknown User

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I'm self employed You're talking to yourself

2008-09-27 20:14:00 Author: Rabid-Coot Posts: 6728

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You have a pretty good conversation. Until you begin to argue which one of you is better.

2008-09-27 20:15:00 Author: Unknown User

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I solve it with violence It hurts

2008-09-27 20:18:00 Author: Rabid-Coot Posts: 6728

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You make up with yourself. You fly a kite and get struck by lightning. Twice.

2008-09-27 20:59:00 Author: Unknown User

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It suits my electric personality. You fall into an active volcano.

2008-09-27 21:01:00 Author: Rabid-Coot Posts: 6728

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It suits my fiery personality. You fall through a broken pond of ice.

2008-09-27 21:04:00 Author: Unknown User

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I'm just playing it cool. You lose your legs to frostbite.

2008-09-27 21:06:00 Author: Rabid-Coot Posts: 6728

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You get prosthetic legs which match your new prosthetic hand. One leg is longer than the other.

2008-09-27 21:10:00 Author: Unknown User

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I'll just walk in a large circle. You're stuck between a rock and a hard place.

2008-09-27 21:12:00 Author: Rabid-Coot Posts: 6728

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An adventurer saves you. The adventurer is Atilla the Hun!

2008-09-27 21:21:00 Author: Unknown User

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He's my new drinking buddy. You go out of the frying pan into the fire.

2008-09-27 21:23:00 Author: Rabid-Coot Posts: 6728

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Once again, it suits my fiery personality. You get nailed in the face in a game of dodgeball.

2008-09-27 21:49:00 Author: Unknown User

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Atleast its not in the face TWICE! You have an itch you can't scratch.

2008-09-27 21:51:00 Author: Rabid-Coot Posts: 6728

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But soon a dog comes along and bites it to make it better..... THE DOG HAD RABIES.

2008-09-27 22:00:00 Author: GuyWithNoEyes Posts: 1100

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I'm already rabid so no effect. You're a few sandwiches short of a picnic.

2008-09-27 22:02:00 Author: Rabid-Coot Posts: 6728

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At least you wont get fat. You do get fat because you packed too much chocolate.

2008-09-27 22:04:00 Author: GuyWithNoEyes Posts: 1100

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I eat too much and bring it back up. Your mouth tastes like vomit.

2008-09-27 22:19:00 Author: Rabid-Coot Posts: 6728

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So you brush your teeth. Someone replace your toothpaste with squid ink.

2008-09-27 22:21:00 Author: Unknown User

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Mmmmm.....Vomit. you find out you have cancer, for which there is no cure.

2008-09-27 22:21:00 Author: GuyWithNoEyes Posts: 1100

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I fold at home until there is one. Your electric bill quadruples.

2008-09-27 22:30:00 Author: Rabid-Coot Posts: 6728

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You're rich. Until you purchase 6,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 penguins.

2008-09-27 22:31:00 Author: Unknown User

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Everyone loves penguins. The penguins turn evil.

2008-09-27 22:32:00 Author: GuyWithNoEyes Posts: 1100

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I join their side. That side loses.

2008-09-27 22:36:00 Author: Rabid-Coot Posts: 6728

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At least you are now slaves instead of dead. You get tortured

2008-09-27 22:38:00 Author: GuyWithNoEyes Posts: 1100

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It was just a nightmare. But the reality is that you're stinkin' poor.

2008-09-27 22:39:00 Author: Unknown User

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You win the lottery. You get robbed.

2008-09-27 22:43:00 Author: GuyWithNoEyes Posts: 1100

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I hadn't collected the winnings yet. Its only a tenner.

2008-09-27 23:02:00 Author: Rabid-Coot Posts: 6728

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At least you have some money. All food now costs millions of pounds.

2008-09-27 23:04:00 Author: GuyWithNoEyes Posts: 1100

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I leave Zimbabwe Your drink leaves a ring on your table.

2008-09-27 23:07:00 Author: Rabid-Coot Posts: 6728

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You wash it off and buy coasters. The coasters are made of butter.

2008-09-27 23:10:00 Author: Unknown User

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At least it is not margerine. You randomly burst into flames.

2008-09-27 23:11:00 Author: GuyWithNoEyes Posts: 1100

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I jump into a pond. You spill red wine on your white carpet.

2008-09-27 23:12:00 Author: Rabid-Coot Posts: 6728

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You buy a rug. It is a flying rug and begins flying you to the Sun.

2008-09-27 23:14:00 Author: Unknown User

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At least it's warmer than Wales Your eyes fall out.

2008-09-27 23:15:00 Author: GuyWithNoEyes Posts: 1100

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You were blind anyways. Your eye sockets hurt.

2008-09-27 23:19:00 Author: Unknown User

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I cut off my ear to forget about the pain of my eyes. I have no eyes

2008-09-27 23:21:00 Author: GuyWithNoEyes Posts: 1100

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On the internet thats a good thing. You knock a hole into your wall.

2008-09-27 23:32:00 Author: Rabid-Coot Posts: 6728

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I can see naked girls on the other side! Heehee! But, again, I have no eyes

2008-09-27 23:33:00 Author: GuyWithNoEyes Posts: 1100

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You grow eyes. The growing process is incredibly painful.

2008-09-27 23:35:00 Author: Unknown User

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I can cope with pain.... Now I have to change my username >_>

2008-09-27 23:39:00 Author: GuyWithNoEyes Posts: 1100

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You removed your eyes because you found that easier. Ow! That hurt!

2008-09-28 00:25:00 Author: Unknown User

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You bet it ******* did. Hmmm....Watermelons.

2008-09-28 00:38:00 Author: GuyWithNoEyes Posts: 1100

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The watermelons are tasty. A watermelon grows in your stomach.

2008-09-28 00:39:00 Author: Unknown User

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Then I will turn into Watermelon Man! Right?

2008-09-28 00:43:00 Author: GuyWithNoEyes Posts: 1100

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Right The citizens are trying to eat you!

2008-09-28 00:44:00 Author: Unknown User

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Not if I eat them first. Your capslock is stuck on and shift doesn't work.

2008-09-28 00:56:00 Author: Rabid-Coot Posts: 6728

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You buy a new keyboard. Your new one is typing bad things. Holy Fvck!

2008-09-28 01:28:00 Author: Unknown User

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Atleast swearing takes less effort now. The forum you're on doesn't allow it.

2008-09-28 01:32:00 Author: Rabid-Coot Posts: 6728

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You destroy your keyboard and use the on screen keyboard. It takes you ten times as long to type.

2008-09-28 01:36:00 Author: Unknown User

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My posts are more thought out. You fall asleep while driving.

2008-09-28 01:55:00 Author: Rabid-Coot Posts: 6728

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You wake up in a land of beautiful women... That are cannibals!!!

2008-09-28 01:56:00 Author: Unknown User

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I taste terrible. The bite wound goes septic.

2008-09-28 10:29:00 Author: Rabid-Coot Posts: 6728

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A phoenix flies over head and its tears heal your wound. It also sets the jungle on fire and the entire island is being consumed by flames!

2008-09-28 10:32:00 Author: Unknown User

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I swim away from the island. A shark attacks.

2008-09-28 10:33:00 Author: Rabid-Coot Posts: 6728

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Whaaaaale saves you. However, he also brings attention to Captain Ahab, and you must protect Whaaaaale!

2008-09-28 10:35:00 Author: Unknown User

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I sacrifice whaaaaaaaale for passage on Ahabs boat. A bird poo's on your clean car.

2008-09-28 10:45:00 Author: Rabid-Coot Posts: 6728

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You get it washed. The air drier at the car wash is broken, in which you must now begin the hard, tedious, manual labor of individually collecting each drop of water from your car without causing water streaks.

2008-09-28 10:48:00 Author: Unknown User

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I pay someone else to do it. they scratch the paintwork.

2008-09-28 10:53:00 Author: Rabid-Coot Posts: 6728

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You buy a new car. You become bankrupt.

2008-09-28 10:57:00 Author: Unknown User

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but a bum isn't as bad as it seems you turn into a SUPER SACK HERO WITH POWERS AND A CAPE

2008-09-28 11:04:00 Author: Thee-Flash Posts: 3154

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I save the LittleBIGPlanet. A tree falls on your house.

2008-09-28 11:07:00 Author: Rabid-Coot Posts: 6728

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So you get Home. You trip and fall onto a crack, in which you have broken your mother's back.

2008-09-28 11:08:00 Author: Unknown User

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I step on a line and everything's fine. You bet all your money on a losing horse.

2008-09-28 11:33:00 Author: Rabid-Coot Posts: 6728

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like i said being a bum isn't as bad as it looks lol lbp get delayed until year 2000005 + 1256

2008-09-28 11:37:00 Author: Thee-Flash Posts: 3154

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All of your money was only a cent. The losing horse tramples you.

2008-09-28 11:38:00 Author: Unknown User

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I get compensation. You're a few cards short of a deck.

2008-09-28 11:40:00 Author: Rabid-Coot Posts: 6728

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You play a new game. In which you lose.

2008-09-28 11:42:00 Author: Unknown User

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You weren't playing for money. You don't like losing.

2008-09-28 11:46:00 Author: Unknown User

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You see a counciler. He turns your depression into anger.

2008-09-28 11:48:00 Author: Unknown User

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You control your anger. You control your anger, but you suddenly feel the urge to release it.

2008-09-28 12:14:00 Author: Unknown User

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I take it out via DIY. You drill through the water pipe.

2008-09-28 12:17:00 Author: Rabid-Coot Posts: 6728

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Darth Vader helps you control use your anger And makes you do his dry cleaning Edit: I really liked this one.

2008-09-28 12:17:00 Author: Unknown User

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He gives you a quarter for the dry cleaning, and you take it He finds out. You are now in DEEP trouble

2008-09-28 12:41:00 Author: GuyWithNoEyes Posts: 1100

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Epic Star Wars battle music plays. You get pwned by Vader.

2008-09-28 12:42:00 Author: Unknown User

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You go down in history But you're dead now.

2008-09-28 12:43:00 Author: GuyWithNoEyes Posts: 1100

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*Uses Phoenix Down* You're revived! Uh oh! Bahamut!

2008-09-28 12:49:00 Author: Unknown User

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Lolwut. You die.

2008-09-28 12:50:00 Author: Unknown User

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Don't worry, because I'm going to give you a cookie tommorrow. (?) The cookie doesn't taste nice.

2008-09-28 12:50:00 Author: GuyWithNoEyes Posts: 1100

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Better than RockSauron's peanuts. You are reminded of their taste.

2008-09-28 12:51:00 Author: Unknown User

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I thought they tasted nice........ You don't.

2008-09-28 12:52:00 Author: GuyWithNoEyes Posts: 1100

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I bathe in seasoning Next to a pride of lions

2008-09-28 12:57:00 Author: Unknown User

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The lions are your new best friends. Tigers come along all the way from India to kill you and your friends, the lions

2008-09-28 12:59:00 Author: GuyWithNoEyes Posts: 1100

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You tame them all! And start a travelling circus that fails miserably..

2008-09-28 13:13:00 Author: Unknown User

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But I get some money, at least. But I get no more, I have no other jobs.

2008-09-28 14:12:00 Author: GuyWithNoEyes Posts: 1100

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You start busking You're a tramp.

2008-09-28 14:36:00 Author: Rabid-Coot Posts: 6728

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At least I'm outside. You look into an eclipse and blind yourself.

2008-10-01 17:16:00 Author: DrunkMiffy Posts: 2758

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Then you're a GuyWithNoEyes Which sucks.

2008-10-01 17:17:00 Author: Unknown User

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At least you'll never see the sins and cruelty of the world. But then you hear the sins and cruelty of the world.

2008-10-01 17:39:00 Author: TheArmedReaper Posts: 1543

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In which case you put your ear to a 30 decibal radio. And now your ears are useless.

2008-10-01 17:42:00 Author: Unknown User

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Atleast you won't hear the cruelty and sins of the world. This beta is your only chance to play LBP for the whole year and the next.

2008-10-01 17:47:00 Author: TheArmedReaper Posts: 1543

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You get a crew of pirates to set sail with you on an expedition for the beta! Mutiny!

2008-10-01 17:49:00 Author: Unknown User

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At least you can start a new, more trustworthy crew! LBP turns out terrible.

2008-10-01 19:03:00 Author: GuyWithNoEyes Posts: 1100

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More time for Fallout & Bioshock. You'll never be warm again.

2008-10-02 19:04:00 Author: DrunkMiffy Posts: 2758

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I'm used to being cold. You find the LBP beta stops background downloads.

2008-10-02 19:47:00 Author: Rabid-Coot Posts: 6728

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You like to watch An apple eats the banana you were about to eat and then the apple eats itself but they were the only 2 pieces of food left on the world...

2008-10-04 00:59:00 Author: Unknown User

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You wake up. You failed at life, twice.

2008-10-04 01:08:00 Author: Whalio Cappuccino Posts: 5250

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Mudkipz have 99.9 lives. You never get to play LBP.

2008-10-04 01:15:00 Author: Code1337 Posts: 3476

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It's an addiction anyway. You wake up one morning and you are suffering from epic amnesia and can't remember your name, where you live, or who you know etc.

2008-10-04 01:41:00 Author: UmJammerSully Posts: 1097

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Now you have a legitamate excuse for why you didn't do your homework! But your amnesia has made you forget how to breathe!!!!

2008-10-04 02:21:00 Author: Unknown User

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Now you have a legitamate excuse for why you didn't do your homework! But your amnesia has made you forget how to breathe!!!! Not being in the beta is a fate worse than death, bring it on. That's strange, a second ago I could have swore you had limbs.

2008-10-06 05:25:00 Author: UmJammerSully Posts: 1097

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you can also play LBP with your tongue! you're banned from LBPcentral!

2008-10-06 09:21:00 Author: illyism Posts: 146

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You find another forum! Sackboys are actually mutant aliens trying to take over the world, using their cuteness as a ploy to get close to the humans.

2008-10-06 19:48:00 Author: Unknown User

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at least they're cute! a server crash removed all the sackboys on SPOREpedia EDIT: http://www.spore.com/sporepedia#qry=srch-sackboy lawl lawl lawl http://ll-225.ea.com/spore/static/thumb/500/006/225/500006225013.png

2008-10-06 20:20:00 Author: illyism Posts: 146

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The Sackgirls are still alive. Pedo Bear scares the Sackboy/girl race.

2008-10-06 20:21:00 Author: Unknown User

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Pedobear gets destroyed by my race of mudkipz. You are not a mudkip.

2008-10-07 00:45:00 Author: Code1337 Posts: 3476

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You turn into one during every full moon. But the transformation process of having fins sprout from your body and face is extremely painful.

2008-10-07 05:21:00 Author: Unknown User

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But you still get to be a Mudkip. In mudkip form, you get eaten by a Charrizard.

2008-10-07 09:14:00 Author: flakmagnet Posts: 1084

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but charrizard realizes just how amazing mudkip is, and he spits him out. mudkip evolves, so he is not mudkip anymore. just a marshtomp

2008-10-07 22:49:00 Author: Go,Mouse! Posts: 388

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The marshtop is the superior race. FULLSTOP. But then you get demoted back mudkipz, and are attacked by the superior race, marshtopz.

2008-10-29 11:41:00 Author: TheArmedReaper Posts: 1543

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A new Challenger appears! http://img504.imageshack.us/img504/7863/1222169080842uu3.jpg

2008-10-29 11:51:00 Author: Unknown User

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Haze or Assassin's Creed?..

2008-11-02 15:51:00 Author: TheArmedReaper Posts: 1543

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Assassins Creed. :/ Penguin or Crocodile?

2008-11-02 17:56:00 Author: Code1337 Posts: 3476

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You get stuck on a level crossing with your car doors locked...

2008-11-03 12:16:00 Author: floor3013 Posts: 287

Posts: 1077139    Threads: 69970    Members: 9661    Archive-Date: 2019-01-19

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