General Stuff #1
story i made :)
Archive: 3 posts
well i started writing a story today. and i just finished the first chapter so i want to see what you think. rate me please out of 10  BTW dont rate on grammer and quotation marks and all that rate on enjoyment http://docs.google.com/Doc?id=ddfqctch_6gmgvvhgf WARNING:CONTAINS VIOLENCE AND MILD LANGUAGE: DO NOT READ IF YOU DONT WANT TO SEE THAT. PS. If you see Mark Genra anywhere Genra isnt my real last name ^.^ | 2008-12-12 02:56:00 Author: Snrm  Posts: 6419 |
| Some Constructive Critic. for you Immersion needs work, he was a scared journalist for 1 second and then he became some kind of special agent the next, being able to hold his ground against heavily armed terrorist....almost like the indigo prophecy effect... also, add some description on how the protagonist is feeling, don't just describe their actions, It helps character-audience relation. Grammar is ok, the text flows nicely, just a few nitty gritty parts, but easily ignored. This is just a suggestion, but if your going for a thriller, you might want to work a little more on the environment so the readers will be able to have a good picture on their head, again immersion. That being said, Reed reminds me of TinTin....journalist about to uncover some big terrorist plot, accidentally.... oh a score.... well I don't really rate literature, a person either likes it or not, I am curious of whats going to happen next. Barely any stories have the frenchies as terrorists... | 2008-12-12 03:44:00 Author: Reshin  Posts: 1081 |
| it isnt gonna be all terrorist. More like a mob. i plan on posting the it everytime i get done with 3 chapters. they werent highly armed terrorists. as you would find out later they were very weak pistols. And he was only a super agent because of immense Adrenaline.  But thanks for advice i was waiting here clicking refresh for first response | 2008-12-12 03:47:00 Author: Snrm Posts: 6419 |
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