Archive: 8 posts

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I'll give you the low-down. I was given the task of writing a short story, in the style of the Gothic genre. And so I did. I handed it in, and got an A* which was the highest possible mark. I'm pretty pleased with myself, and I also enjoyed writing it. So I thought I'd share it and if its popular, I may start a blog with Gothic Short Stories And so finally, I give you, Mountainous Delusions. *Dramatic pause* It was my first mountain trek. I?d been warned about the dangers, but not of this extreme. They were all around, watching. The vandals of the white vistas. It was a Tuesday, a typical winter one at that. The sky was a dark grey, snow drifting gently onto the floor. Trees sprinkled with snow, blurring past. The truck?s window was steaming up because of the huge amount of heating that was blowing out of the heater. The driver, Chris (I?d read off his name tag) was quiet. A little too quiet for my liking, especially on my first trek. We arrived at the start of the trek. Chris opened the door, let me out and dropped my bags at my feet. He hastily drove off, back down the mountain. I looked around. High peaks caped in snow all around, a frozen lake to my left, white trees to my right and a steep incline behind me. And so, my journey began. I?d been walking for about two and a half hours. There really was no life here at all. But it was then that I saw something, right in the corner of my eye. When I turned to look at it, it was gone. I pulled out my flask to hydrate myself. I carried on walking for half an hour only to see it again. The same blur in the corner of my eye. But this time it was closer. Much closer, maybe two or three metres from me. I heard it, the footsteps but when I looked, there was no sign of activity. I carried on for an hour but it was growing dark so I started setting up camp. The wind was getting stronger, carrying the cold air with it. I had my tent set up so I clambered in. The night came fast. The wind was blowing against my tent. I tried getting to sleep but my mind wouldn?t relax. Constantly relaying the events with the blur in the corner of my eye. I suddenly heard a gargle from outside my tent. ?Hello?? It sounded again. ?Hello?? I repeated. Nothing. Should I go outside? No, I didn?t know what was out there. What would make a noise like that? Shortly I found myself very drowsy, barely able to keep my eyelids from closing. Sun rise was an amazing thing to witness. The orange sky, above the white peaks, silhouetting spikes onto the ground surrounding, resembling teeth. The rest of the day continued as it had started. The sky?s were clear, the sunlight reflecting off of the snow. I guessed being in the mountains wasn?t bad all of the time. I didn?t see them today. The white blurs, but I still wondered what had made that noise the previous night. Maybe it was some sort of goat? No, that wouldn?t be possible. Surely goats didn?t travel this high? I drank the rest of my first flask, revitalising my senses. I had almost finished a quarter of the trek. I was definitely making progress. I?d walked 21 miles, and it was 3:30PM. I wanted to walk at least 3 or 4 more before dusk. Time passed and it reached dusk so I set up camp and decided to set up the camera, which I had in case I wanted to take any pictures, outside the tent. I decided it was best if I got as much rest as I could, so I went to sleep at 6:13PM. I didn?t have any trouble that night. No gargles. Nothing. Just the sound of the wind roaring across the peaks, shaking the tent. I woke up at 7:00AM, drank some of the tea that was in my second flask, and hurriedly checked the camera that I?d left outside. I watched the footage. All I was the mountain plains and the frozen lake that I?d camped next to. Nothing out of the ordinary. No goats. There may have been some sound, but all I could hear was the wind. So I continued my trek, disappointed that I hadn?t got any footage of anything. I still tried again the next night. Still nothing for the two nights after, but the night after that I stayed outside later. It was about 9:00PM and my camp was all set up. I was waving my torch around, trying to spot something when there, on one of the peaks it stood. A silhouette of a large hairy creature. It had two bulky curved horns. I rubbed my eyes, to check that I wasn?t dreaming. It was still there, just standing. I took a sip of my tea out of my flask and suddenly it was gone. No poof of smoke, no flash of lightning. Just gone. What was that thing? I wondered to myself. Throughout the rest of that night, I continued to stay up and watch the peaks for any more of the creatures. After a while I began to get tired but as I was getting ready to sleep, one appeared on the peak again. And another, but closer. So close I could touch it. It made the gargling sound I had heard the first night I had stayed. My heartbeat increased. I had to stay calm. What if it could somehow hear it. It might attack. It didn?t look like one of those creatures that would be particularly friendly. I slowly retreated into my tent, being sure not to make too much noise. I tried to sleep, but knowing that beast was right outside, was keeping me awake. My sleeping bag rustled. Everything seem to happen in slow motion from there. The shadow of the creature was on my tent which then suddenly was gripping my tent, ferociously shaking it about. Deafening footsteps, getting louder and louder. More and more of them were coming towards the tent. They lifted it up, and my weight ripped the bottom of the tent, exposing me to them. This was it. My life was over. They were gone. Again. Like the one on the peak had done. Just disappeared. I had to get out of this place. I?d been warned about the dangers, but not of this extreme. They were all around, watching. The vandals of the white vistas. Was I going to escape this place alive? It took my about an hour to get to sleep after that, but I was freezing. Freezing to death. I only slept for an hour or two, but I decided if I was going to get home, I had to do it fast. Two days trek left. A day passed, without any sleep, or resting. No sign of the creatures. Although these torments were beginning to make me go insane. I made a quick decision. There was lake, a couple of miles away. I had to make these demons leave me alone. So along that journey towards the river, I remember all of the good times in my life I had had. Although there hadn?t been many. I?d spent my life alone. All of my childhood friends, grown up and fallen in love. Unlike me. I was the lonely one. And I was to die the lonely one. I was at the lake. And so I jumped in. I hope you enjoyed that! Please leave your opinion and/or constructive criticism Thank you!

2011-05-06 19:07:00 Author: CheezeBo Posts: 832

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Nice story. Reminds me of the time when I was gang raped by a pack of wild dogs while camping in the mountains.

2011-05-06 19:20:00 Author: Ungreth Posts: 2130

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Nice story. Reminds me of the time when I was gang raped by a pack of wild dogs while camping in the mountains. Should I take that as a compliment? I know you said 'nice story' but I'm not sure if that was sarcasm :S

2011-05-06 19:25:00 Author: CheezeBo Posts: 832

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I also got an A* on my english short story exam You had a good subject to write about though I had to write about 'the impact of technology on the average teenager's life' Nice story. I have to say those beasts have me creeped out at the moment.

2011-05-07 17:54:00 Author: Jakest123 Posts: 319

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I also got an A* on my english short story exam You had a good subject to write about though I had to write about 'the impact of technology on the average teenager's life' Nice story. I have to say those beasts have me creeped out at the moment. Oh, congrats! Is it good that I've freaked someone out with it, or does that mean its too creepy Do you think it would be worth me setting up a blog for Gothic short stories? Would it be successful? Would you read them?

2011-05-08 12:30:00 Author: CheezeBo Posts: 832

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Oh, congrats! Is it good that I've freaked someone out with it, or does that mean its too creepy Do you think it would be worth me setting up a blog for Gothic short stories? Would it be successful? Would you read them? I think it would be successful, so long as you advertised in on some forums like this one

2011-05-08 12:44:00 Author: Jakest123 Posts: 319

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I think it would be successful, so long as you advertised in on some forums like this one Thanks! I've started a second story and I'll be sorting out the blog later. I need names for it! Also I'll be saving them as PDF files too, so you can read it on iPods etc.

2011-05-08 12:48:00 Author: CheezeBo Posts: 832

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So here it is, the blog, all up and running! http://falling-sun.blogspot.com/ I'll be saving the stories as PDFs and making them available shortly so you can read them on the go!

2011-05-08 17:40:00 Author: CheezeBo Posts: 832

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