Archive: 8 posts

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This is my first attempt at an LBP-related fanfic. It will center around my little character, and maybe some other people from LBPC if this becomes popular enough. ---------- Prologue ---------- I slipped into consciousness. My entire body felt cold. I felt myself floating in violent waters. Occasionally, I went under, but quickly submerged. I tried to move, but I couldn't. Barely having any energy to think, I let myself go with the current of the water. The sky above me was black. My eyes adjusted to what seemed like an urban beach, deserted. Luckily, the current was pushing me towards the beach. I would be saved! I fell unconscious... --- "Its no use, he's dead!" "No hes not, Hendricks! He's barely living. We can save him. We have the tools. We have the methods!" ---------- ---------- Chapter 1 - Memory ---------- My vision was blurry as i slowly opened my eyes. I had the strength to move my limbs again. Lying down, I could see that I was in a room with a glass top, lights scattered across the ceiling of the room. I began to slowly sit up when a voice said "Hold on, buddy." To the right of my was a girl with orange hair, sitting on a chair She was wearing a white lab coat with an ID card around her neck. There were some machines behind her. One of them seemed to have green goo in it, and it was making a loud buzzing noise. "You've been out cold for a few days now. We've done a great deal to put you back together, and I wouldnt want you falling apart again. Its lucky that you're even still alive." She said. "Wha... where am I?" I asked her, with still so many questions in my head. "DEHX Headquarters, but we usually call it The Facility." She suddenly seemed to dodge another question I was about to ask, and said, "Well, I think I need to see if your memory isnt scrambled up or anything. Will you follow me?" I decided I had to, since the only way I would get more answers is if I cooperate. She led me through a door that whizzed open as we got close. It opened to the sides and had that cool teeth-like pattern on the sides when it opened. --- I was led through a long chrome hallway. We occasionally passed windows with other sackpeople visible through them. Most of them were sitting down, and there was a door probably leading to the they were in. We eventually got to a door with a window with the same setup as the other rooms had. "In here." She said. She opened the door with the card on her keychain, and we walked in. The room was made out of metal. There was a rug in the center between two chairs. She sat me down on a chair parallel to another one. She sat down on the other one, and got out a clipboard. "We're going to test your memory. Now, what's the last memory you have before you remember being adrift?" I thoguht hard. "I remember being angry. At... somebody. A man in a fedora. Lost of other men behind him. I couldnt remember much after looking at them, but there was a white flash. The man yelled and..." I cant believe what I remembered. It was all coming back to me. "What happened?" She urged on. "I... I was killed." ---------- If you post, comment, critique, or suggest, I will continue this story. :SH:

2010-12-30 21:03:00 Author: ThePineapplizer Posts: 769

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man your writing style is so good! please continue and ill read everything you give us

2010-12-31 02:37:00 Author: Skalio- Posts: 920

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Six million dollar sack per chance? I like the style looking forward to more.

2011-01-01 15:29:00 Author: RAWTalent Posts: 224

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---------- Chapter 1 - Memory ---------- My vision was blurry as i slowly opened my eyes. I had the strength to move my limbs again. Lying down, I could see that I was in a room with a glass top, lights scattered across the ceiling of the room. I began to slowly sit up when a voice said "Hold on, buddy." To the right of my was a girl with orange hair, sitting on a chair She was wearing a white lab coat with an ID card around her neck. There were some machines behind her. One of them seemed to have green goo in it, and it was making a loud buzzing noise. "You've been out cold for a few days now. We've done a great deal to put you back together, and I wouldnt want you falling apart again. Its lucky that you're even still alive." She said. "Wha... where am I?" I asked her, with still so many questions in my head. "DEHX Headquarters, but we usually call it The Facility." She suddenly seemed to dodge another question I was about to ask, and said, "Well, I think I need to see if your memory isnt scrambled up or anything. Will you follow me?" I decided I had to, since the only way I would get more answers is if I cooperate. She led me through a door that whizzed open as we got close. It opened to the sides and had that cool teeth-like pattern on the sides when it opened. --- I was led through a long chrome hallway. We occasionally passed windows with other sackpeople visible through them. Most of them were sitting down, and there was a door probably leading to the they were in. We eventually got to a door with a window with the same setup as the other rooms had. "In here." She said. She opened the door with the card on her keychain, and we walked in. The room was made out of metal. There was a rug in the center between two chairs. She sat me down on a chair parallel to another one. She sat down on the other one, and got out a clipboard. "We're going to test your memory. Now, what's the last memory you have before you remember being adrift?" I thoguht hard. "I remember being angry. At... somebody. A man in a fedora. Lost of other men behind him. I couldnt remember much after looking at them, but there was a white flash. The man yelled and..." I cant believe what I remembered. It was all coming back to me. "What happened?" She urged on. "I... I was killed." ---------- :SH:

2011-01-01 18:35:00 Author: ThePineapplizer Posts: 769

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---------- Chapter 1 - Memory ---------- My vision was blurry as i slowly opened my eyes. I had the strength to move my limbs again. Lying down, I could see that I was in a room with a glass top, lights scattered across the ceiling of the room. I began to slowly sit up when a voice said "Hold on, buddy." To the right of my was a girl with orange hair, sitting on a chair She was wearing a white lab coat with an ID card around her neck. There were some machines behind her. One of them seemed to have green goo in it, and it was making a loud buzzing noise. "You've been out cold for a few days now. We've done a great deal to put you back together, and I wouldnt want you falling apart again. Its lucky that you're even still alive." She said. "Wha... where am I?" I asked her, with still so many questions in my head. "DEHX Headquarters, but we usually call it The Facility." She suddenly seemed to dodge another question I was about to ask, and said, "Well, I think I need to see if your memory isnt scrambled up or anything. Will you follow me?" I decided I had to, since the only way I would get more answers is if I cooperate. She led me through a door that whizzed open as we got close. It opened to the sides and had that cool teeth-like pattern on the sides when it opened. --- I was led through a long chrome hallway. We occasionally passed windows with other sackpeople visible through them. Most of them were sitting down, and there was a door probably leading to the they were in. We eventually got to a door with a window with the same setup as the other rooms had. "In here." She said. She opened the door with the card on her keychain, and we walked in. The room was made out of metal. There was a rug in the center between two chairs. She sat me down on a chair parallel to another one. She sat down on the other one, and got out a clipboard. "We're going to test your memory. Now, what's the last memory you have before you remember being adrift?" I thoguht hard. "I remember being angry. At... somebody. A man in a fedora. Lost of other men behind him. I couldnt remember much after looking at them, but there was a white flash. The man yelled and..." I cant believe what I remembered. It was all coming back to me. "What happened?" She urged on. "I... I was killed." ---------- :SH: Why did you write the same thing over again also HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

2011-01-01 19:02:00 Author: Lgjoka2002 Posts: 538

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Very nice! I look forward to reading more of it! Why did you write the same thing over again also HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! He probably edited the new chapter into the first post to make the reading easier.

2011-01-01 19:06:00 Author: Plasmavore Posts: 1913

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---------- Chapter 2 - Secrets ---------- "Which... explains why we found you so wrecked." The lady said. "Yeah... I heard you talking to some other guy. Henry, I believe?" I replied. "Hendricks, yeah. hes the doctor around here. he heals all of our t-patients." She stuttered. I looked at her oddly. She quickly said "Anyway, my name is Stacy." We continued my little interview until I knew enough about myself to know what to do. "Take a look around the Facility if you'd like." She said once we were done. I decided to take her up on that. I was led back through that hallway with the rooms when she quickly got a call on her sackphone. "You do?" She said after listening a bit. "Okay, be right there." She ran down the hallway, and yelled over her shoulder. "Stay right there! I dont want you getting lost!" She exited out the door. I lingered around a bit before deciding to take my leave. I silently sneaked towards the door when a sackperson started banging on his window. As i inspected him closer, he didnt look of burlap. He looked like he was made out of... I gasped. "Cardboard?!" I uttered in disbelief. He put his open mouth against the window. He slowly slid down, leaving behind a trail of drool. I quickly ran past the window and out the door. Being in the wide open room again, I saw another door. I sneaked over to it. It didnt open. I waved my hand in front of it. I noticed there was a small terminal on the other side of the door. I walked over to it and saw a small slot, thin enough for an ID card. Drat! I need an ID card. I looked around the room for an alternate way in. Scanning the vast parts of machinery, I noticed a desk with papers on them. There was also a small green-tinted lamp. I walked over to it and inspected the files. Most of them were labeled at the top with "Patient" then a random jumble of numbers. Odd. There was also a plate with a half-eaten sandwich and a knife. I concluded that the knife was there because there was also a jar of mayonnaise.I continued looking through the papers, hoping to find a stray ID card, when I noticed there was a vent in the wall under the desk. "Bingo!" I said aloud, knowing nobody would hear me. I squatted down and tried to peel the vent cover off, but it wouldnt budge. I stood back up ands scanned the desk for a screwdriver or some kind of tool that I could pry the vent open with. I saw the knife and snatched it up. Sliding the blade into the side of the vent cover, I slowly pulled back, waiting until a bolt came undone. I quickly heard one ding off. I inspected the vent some more. Rust spidered on the cover. I rotated the vent cover so it was out of my way and lay down on my stomach. Luckily, it was big enough for me to crawl through. I began my crawl into the vent; into the truth. ---------- :SH:

2011-01-03 00:49:00 Author: ThePineapplizer Posts: 769

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I'm pumped for chapter 3!!! Although one thing that I think could be more apparent would be a sense of being watched possibly. Or the possibility of being watched. I kind of had that feeling reading it.

2011-01-04 03:34:00 Author: bmoney2310 Posts: 187

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