General Stuff #1
How would you die?
Archive: 122 posts
| Interesting question, Huh? It's simple, how would you die if say... there was a reason you had only a day or so to live. Like, if the apocalypse was apon us, and we all knew when it would happen, or if you were diagnosed with some illness. How would you go out? ------ Me, i would hope there would be a tidal wave, because i would just stand in front of it and go "I'm gonna need a towel" And stand in the coolest pose. My friend casey is a metal head like me, and he can play pretty darn good. He said he would go out playing metal while the ground cracks and fire rains from the sky! (Oh is only that would happen) --------- So, how about you? No opting out of this, once you click this spoiler you are bound by the gods. YOU MUST POST! Nothing involving too much gore. No dying normally! | 2010-12-05 21:24:00 Author: Joshofsouls  Posts: 1569 |
I would die finishing the last level of LBP2 story mode, because my life would be complete!  | 2010-12-05 21:33:00 Author: iBubek  Posts: 682 |
| Not as awesome as i would hope, but good on... i guess? | 2010-12-05 21:41:00 Author: Joshofsouls Posts: 1569 |
| Ok, but really, I would jump into a volcano from a helicopter, as it's erupting, and go out in a blaze of glory! | 2010-12-05 21:46:00 Author: iBubek Posts: 682 |
| I'm probably going to get assassinated by a government agency and not see it coming, so it's up to them. | 2010-12-05 21:47:00 Author: Bremnen  Posts: 1800 |
| I would spend the rest of my time trying to find and kill that pesky fugitive that I have been searching for years! :kz: | 2010-12-05 21:50:00 Author: gdn001  Posts: 5891 |
I'd die happy if I caught roadrunner.  But seriously? Lightsaber accident. | 2010-12-05 21:54:00 Author: Jedi_1993  Posts: 1518 |
| ''When I go out, I'ma go out shootin I don't mean when I die, I mean when I go out to the club, stupid'' - Eminem well now thats out the way I think I would like to get the worlds fastest motorbike and drive it like 200mph into a brick wall , and just as im about to hit it i say ''whats crackin'' | 2010-12-05 21:56:00 Author: howMUCHforBOUNTY  Posts: 623 |
| well now thats out the way I think I would like to get the worlds fastest motorbike and drive it like 200mph into a brick wall , and just as im about to hit it i say ''whats crackin'' Be sure to do a few practice drives before the real thing. It would be pretty embarrassing if crashed before the wall. | 2010-12-05 22:00:00 Author: SR20DETDOG  Posts: 2431 |
| l can't really answer that because the universe is unpedictable and we could all die right now or in a couple minutes, l could have died while typing this message. l always say sleeping is next to death and death is closer to two paths which will you take? Back on topic l would like to trying to kill a assassin like assassin's creed. | 2010-12-05 22:00:00 Author: Flashwire  Posts: 217 |
| ok, but really, i would jump into a volcano from a helicopter, as it's erupting, and go out in a blaze of glory! now that's EPIC | 2010-12-05 22:01:00 Author: Joshofsouls Posts: 1569 |
| Ehhhh.... Swine flu? | 2010-12-05 22:02:00 Author: booXely  Posts: 654 |
| l can't really answer that because the universe is unpedictable and we could all die right now or in a couple minutes, l could have died while typing this message. l always say sleeping is next to death and death is closer to two paths which will you take? Back on topic l would like to trying to kill a assassin like assassin's creed. But speaking hypothetically, if you could die any way you wanted! ANY WAY YOU WANTED!!! | 2010-12-05 22:07:00 Author: Joshofsouls Posts: 1569 |
| I will die after an epic battle, using only melee weapons I will fight off 40 combatants to protect the girl who I was contracted to rescue from the enemy slave labourers. I will succeed to kill all 40 opponents only to turn around and be stabbed in the heart by the girl, she will then explain to me that she was contracted to assassinate me. Its OK though because it was actually my job to gather information from her, 30 minutes before my death I emailed all the information to my contact. Upon my death the plan comes together and my organisation not only kills the girl but saves the world from certain destruction. | 2010-12-05 22:07:00 Author: robotiod  Posts: 2662 |
| I would spend the rest of my time trying to find and kill that pesky fugitive that I have been searching for years! :kz: Oh ****, he's after me! D: | 2010-12-05 22:12:00 Author: Bremnen Posts: 1800 |
| Some epic final stand, heroic sacrifice. As I see it, I'd probably bid farewell to my current love interest then turn back to face the impending army. The longer amount of time I can hold them off, the better. Throw in slow-motion and really epic and sad music too. That helps. What? I think like a movie director <_< | 2010-12-05 22:21:00 Author: Astrosimi  Posts: 2046 |
| Pub. stupid 10char | 2010-12-05 22:35:00 Author: Unknown User  |
| When my peanut is finally returned to the fire from whence it came =C | 2010-12-05 22:41:00 Author: RockSauron  Posts: 10882 |
| Some epic final stand, heroic sacrifice. As I see it, I'd probably bid farewell to my current love interest then turn back to face the impending army. The longer amount of time I can hold them off, the better. Throw in slow-motion and really epic and sad music too. That helps. What? I think like a movie director <_< OOH! Faced with a brutal army of cyber genetic soldiers, You bid farewell to your true love and unload every possible weapon you have on you, including an rpg With THIS music playing!!! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=137xoq_DFwA&feature=related | 2010-12-05 22:41:00 Author: Joshofsouls Posts: 1569 |
Morbid topic... but, okay... I know this is boring, but in real life I hope to die in my sleep, at a very old age, after just having spent the day with my husband, children and grand (and great-grand) children, and after consuming a large amount of chocolate mousse  I once almost bought a tee-shirt for my husband that said "I want my last words in this life to be "Hey, guys! Watch this!" | 2010-12-05 22:55:00 Author: BabyDoll1970  Posts: 1567 |
I would like to die today in my sleep  but we cant have everything that we want | 2010-12-05 22:57:00 Author: WESFUN  Posts: 1336 |
| Morbid topic... but, okay... I know this is boring, but in real life I hope to die in my sleep, at a very old age, after just having spent the day with my husband, children and grand (and great-grand) children, and after consuming a large amount of chocolate mousse I once almost bought a tee-shirt for my husband that said "I want my last words in this life to be "Hey, guys! Watch this!" This isn't morbid, it's awsome. We're not saying anything like, i would cut off my arm a die bleeding, while wraping it in christmas lights and putting it under the tree for my children... Whoa... | 2010-12-05 23:08:00 Author: Joshofsouls Posts: 1569 |
| That's not a bad idea. | 2010-12-05 23:11:00 Author: Unknown User |
| I would die of cancer... Like my mom and my girlfriend... :'( | 2010-12-05 23:35:00 Author: BangGhost  Posts: 53 |
| I would die playing guitar while a tital wave came over me, with lightning and smoke in the sky... THE END | 2010-12-06 00:00:00 Author: Astronaut  Posts: 162 |
| I come here to escape real world questions, and not to be reminded of my own mortality....I hesitate to answer but since you asked. The only way I could think about my own demise is if my family were wiped out and I had nothing left to live for, then I would eat a bottle of pills and hang myself. IMO people don't live to die, they live to make more people and possible be happy in the process. | 2010-12-06 00:19:00 Author: KILLA_TODDZILLA  Posts: 653 |
| A bad case of taco poisoning | 2010-12-06 02:23:00 Author: Unknown User |
| I would die saving the world stopping an asteroid and saving my daughters boyfriend from dieing... | 2010-12-06 02:39:00 Author: AA_BATTERY  Posts: 1117 |
| A bad case of taco poisoning Why would NinjaFerret poison you? | 2010-12-06 02:41:00 Author: Bremnen Posts: 1800 |
| hmmm good question, I can probably see myself getting shot several times and taken taken down by the armed offenders squad after going absolutely ape**** in the local DPB office with a bill hook. *sharpens bill hook* | 2010-12-06 02:45:00 Author: Strangepom  Posts: 445 |
| I would want to die in an untouched field peacefully with my guitar and everyone I love next to me. Nothing special, just a simple way to go out, to lay my head and rest on the earth as I gaze at the clouds go by...I will probably die in some stupid way though, like if a cruise ship sinks very slowly and there is only enough room for everyone but me on the life rafts. Yeah, that's how it'll happen, in the span of 3 hours floating in the freezing water... | 2010-12-06 04:53:00 Author: Unknown User |
| I'd prefer to die in a hail of gunfire, fightin' for my liberty and protecin' those I love, ultimately seeking total redemption... Though technically I'm already dead, so why should I care? :hero: | 2010-12-06 05:38:00 Author: Outlaw-Jack  Posts: 5757 |
| I'd prefer to die in a hail of gunfire, fightin' for my liberty and protecin' those I love, ultimately seeking total redemption... Though technically I'm already dead, so why should I care? :hero: Because if you die twice, you're a terrible Outlaw. | 2010-12-06 05:40:00 Author: Unknown User |
| Me, plain and simple.. i'd like to die completing a suicide space mission to save the world from an Alien invasion. | 2010-12-06 05:57:00 Author: Brixx101  Posts: 277 |
| I want Vladimir Putin to rip my arms off and kill me... that would be my ideal death. | 2010-12-06 06:31:00 Author: TheAffected  Posts: 626 |
| Morbid topic... but, okay... I know this is boring, but in real life I hope to die in my sleep, at a very old age, after just having spent the day with my wife, children and grand (and great-grand) children, and after having spent a happy life (EDIT something) Absolutely this! This is really harder than kissing a cool girl than jumping from an helicopter with the fastest motorbike without parachute while shredding a guitar solo with only one hand and killing hordes of enemies with Sephiroth's sword in the other hand, just to fall in a quiet volcano, then farting and making the world asplode. | 2010-12-06 06:33:00 Author: OmegaSlayer Posts: 5112 |
| Wow, Most these are pretty awesome, keep em coming you guys! | 2010-12-06 22:31:00 Author: Joshofsouls Posts: 1569 |
This gives me plenty of ideas  | 2010-12-06 22:55:00 Author: Unknown User |
Spaff would kidnap me because I told everyone about our affair, and attempting to choke me he would stuff 23 toothbrushes down my throat until I die | 2010-12-06 23:04:00 Author: ExplosiveCheddar  Posts: 978 |
| My dream way of dying would be for the immortality potion I have been taking for the last five hundred years wearing out. | 2010-12-06 23:07:00 Author: Jaslow  Posts: 775 |
| During the zombie apocalypse. Me and my loved ones almost escaping when the door that protects us from a horde of zombie jams. I go out to the horde, pull a switch, and the door closes leaving me with the zombies. Then I say.. "SON OF A BI-" *dead* | 2010-12-06 23:35:00 Author: Testudini  Posts: 3262 |
| Terrorists. | 2010-12-06 23:39:00 Author: Merc  Posts: 2135 |
| Terrorists. You would die terrorists? | 2010-12-07 00:01:00 Author: Unknown User |
| I would die... Not in vain I guess? | 2010-12-07 15:39:00 Author: moonwire  Posts: 1627 |
| I would like to be paper cut to death.....In a Sponge Factory. | 2010-12-07 17:37:00 Author: MrFunctionality  Posts: 637 |
| Darth Vader would kill me with a tray. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sv5iEK-IEzw | 2010-12-07 18:07:00 Author: Weretigr  Posts: 2105 |
| A bad case of taco poisoning Why would NinjaFerret poison you? Yeah.. why would I?... *evil plot unfolds* http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQaftPViH-57ZOVqS2CBBLQ-sE4rfai4z4ROn5Lhyvnh-kZuW5ZgEeX9g3ELA | 2010-12-07 18:12:00 Author: Ninjaferret22  Posts: 1403 |
| id want to die from seeing something so funny, i literraly lauged myself to death | 2010-12-07 18:12:00 Author: Distinct-Creator  Posts: 198 |
| I wanna die by eating a grenade!! | 2010-12-07 18:27:00 Author: Unknown User |
| I would die in a police shoot out after going postal on the local mechanics who sabotaged my car when I took it in for an MOT last Saturday and then told me I would have to pay them to repair the damage they did. In fact, just forget the "would" die and replace it with "will" die, since I'm loading the shotgun, strapping up my boots and heading down to the service station right now...:kz: | 2010-12-07 18:40:00 Author: Ungreth  Posts: 2130 |
| I would die in a police shoot out after going postal on the local mechanics who sabotaged my car when I took it in for an MOT last Saturday and then told me I would have to pay them to repair the damage they did. In fact, just forget the "would" die and replace it with "will" die, since I'm loading the shotgun, strapping up my boots and heading down to the service station right now...:kz: You will be missed. | 2010-12-07 18:56:00 Author: Testudini Posts: 3262 |
| You will be missed. Then feel welcome to say a short eulogy for me. Just don't mention what I did with the finger deco, since it might upset my mother.  | 2010-12-07 19:03:00 Author: Ungreth Posts: 2130 |
| I would die either jumping into a volcano with justin beiber under my arm live on TV in front of millions of 13 year old girls or getting to see heaven in my dreams and activating an atomic bomb so that everyone can go to heaven too. That actually sounds like a rather cool suspense movie: A killer who wants to kill as many as possible so he can bring them to heaven. | 2010-12-07 19:16:00 Author: wev99 Posts: 67 |
| Then feel welcome to say a short eulogy for me. Just don't mention what I did with the finger deco, since it might upset my mother. Ah Ungreth, a kind gentle soul, who put a finger deco on his sackperson's pelvis and began to poke people with it. Am I doing it right? | 2010-12-07 19:21:00 Author: Testudini Posts: 3262 |
| I would die in a police shoot out after going postal on the local mechanics who sabotaged my car when I took it in for an MOT last Saturday and then told me I would have to pay them to repair the damage they did. In fact, just forget the "would" die and replace it with "will" die, since I'm loading the shotgun, strapping up my boots and heading down to the service station right now...:kz: So we aren't having company for dinner tonight? Awwww... you'll be missed. <sniff> | 2010-12-07 19:37:00 Author: jwwphotos  Posts: 11383 |
| What an awesome thread! I'd die warning people about the dangers of nitroglycerin and unstable dynamite. | 2010-12-07 19:48:00 Author: Nuclearfish  Posts: 927 |
| Thanks! I didn't plan on this thread getting past page 2 Keep em coming guys! | 2010-12-07 20:13:00 Author: Joshofsouls Posts: 1569 |
| It's simple, how would you die Hmm.....That's an easy one, Fire Horrible Gas Spikes Electrified object OR!! Fenderjt | 2010-12-07 20:53:00 Author: The-Questor  Posts: 1328 |
| I would die of eating too much pudding... like head asplosion from brain freeze. Or something. | 2010-12-07 21:09:00 Author: TehUberZac  Posts: 587 |
| My friend told me the best one of all time. He said he would spend a year getting all buff, and then grow facial hair like the oldspice guy (MY friend is black) Then, he would send out a flyer telling people to meet by the cliff's edge. He would then Jump off the cliff and yell "SWANDIVE INTO THE BEST NIGHT OF YOUR LIFE!" Landing on people below. And then have me play the oldspice theme.... | 2010-12-07 21:16:00 Author: Joshofsouls Posts: 1569 |
| I'd find a wheelbarrow of hay, position it next to a very tall building, find a way get on top of said building, and perform a Leap of Faith. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MtGvAE3ntHk | 2010-12-07 21:19:00 Author: TheZimInvader  Posts: 3149 |
| I'd find a wheelbarrow of hay, position it next to a very tall building, find a way get on top of said building, and perform a Leap of Faith. But then you wouldn't die... Unless... http://a.deviantart.net/avatars/t/r/trollfaceplz.gif?6 (http://a.deviantart.net/avatars/t/r/trollfaceplz.gif?6) *kicks wheelbarrow away* Btw, I would like to die a hero. Doesn't matter if it was to save the whole world or just a friend. | 2010-12-07 21:27:00 Author: gdn001 Posts: 5891 |
| Actually, she would die, unlike ezio and altair, she is not a trained assassin, most likely she would snap her neck! | 2010-12-07 21:51:00 Author: Joshofsouls Posts: 1569 |
| Actually, she would die, unlike ezio and altair, she is not a trained assassin, most likely she would snap her neck! I'm not a trained assassin and I can do it, then again I am the embodiment of pure skill. | 2010-12-07 21:53:00 Author: robotiod Posts: 2662 |
| After being told I have 10 minutes to live, I'd try loads of things I'm too scared to do now, screw the consequences, I'm gonna die anyway. So I'd start by smoking loads, then I'd take loads of drugs and get high, then I'd drink loads of alcohol and get drunk. Then I'd run out onto the streets naked and slap loads of police men in the face. Then I'd dress horses up in bikini's, take a picture with a playstation eye and upload it on LBP. I'd then proceed to place the bikini wearing horses into a giant blender, with a bit of salt and butter to add flavour. After that's completely liquidified I'd sell it on eBay as second hand orange juice. After making millions out of my new second hand "orange juice", I'd buy loads of useless objects and throw them at old people. Then I'd realise I have 8.431445 seconds left to live, so in a voice so high pitched not even dogs can hear it, I'd scream while proceeding to run round in circles and doing a funny lookin' dance. After 6 seconds have passed I'd lie down on the floor and prepare for death. Another 10 seconds later I'd still be alive. Confused, I'd go to the doctor and ask why I'm not dead. The doctor would laugh and point to the calendar, today was April 1st, "April Fools!!" the doctor would say laughing. Then I'd get a chainsaw and the story would then become to gruesome for LBPC, let's just say it ends with me dying in great pain after I decided to see if I could fit a whole chainsaw in my mouth and still sing Justin Bieber. | 2010-12-07 22:01:00 Author: Doopz  Posts: 5592 |
| After being told I have 10 minutes to live, I'd try loads of things I'm too scared to do now, screw the consequences, I'm gonna die anyway. So I'd start by smoking loads, then I'd take loads of drugs and get high, then I'd drink loads of alcohol and get drunk. Then I'd run out onto the streets naked and slap loads of police men in the face. Then I'd dress horses up in bikini's, take a picture with a playstation eye and upload it on LBP. I'd then proceed to place the bikini wearing horses into a giant blender, with a bit of salt and butter to add flavour. After that's completely liquidified I'd sell it on eBay as second hand orange juice. After making millions out of my new second hand "orange juice", I'd buy loads of useless objects and throw them at old people. Then I'd realise I have 8.431445 seconds left to live, so in a voice so high pitched not even dogs can hear it, I'd scream while proceeding to run round in circles and doing a funny lookin' dance. After 6 seconds have passed I'd lie down on the floor and prepare for death. Another 10 seconds later I'd still be alive. Confused, I'd go to the doctor and ask why I'm not dead. The doctor would laugh and point to the calendar, today was April 1st, "April Fools!!" the doctor would say laughing. Then I'd get a chainsaw and the story would then become to gruesome for LBPC, let's just say it ends with me dying in great pain after I decided to see if I could fit a whole chainsaw in my mouth and still sing Justin Bieber. Just because you're going to die doesn't mean you have to kill those innocent horses. | 2010-12-07 22:06:00 Author: TheZimInvader Posts: 3149 |
| Just because you're going to die doesn't mean you have to kill those innocent horses. They weren't innocent, they were hardcore criminals on the run from the police. | 2010-12-07 22:27:00 Author: Doopz Posts: 5592 |
| So I'd start by smoking loads. Something like this? http://cheezpictureisunrelated.files.wordpress.com/2010/06/lungcancerp1.jpg You would die from lung cancer in five seconds. Would be a new record: "Quickest death from lung cancer". | 2010-12-07 22:34:00 Author: gdn001 Posts: 5891 |
| They weren't innocent, they were hardcore criminals on the run from the police. Heh, "criminal horses" ...Those would be "Outlaw horses", so they are MY PROPERTY... lay a finger on one, and yer head gets blown clean off, got it? :kz: Another cool death (my dad's idea, believe it or not): Volunteer to be a "human torpedo" for a battleship, then get fired off to the tune of "Yankee Doodle" at the side of a decomissioned cruiser... What? Ok, ok... he wants that for his funeral. | 2010-12-07 22:37:00 Author: Outlaw-Jack Posts: 5757 |
| What? Ok, ok... he wants that for his funeral. Get your body fired from a cannon at your funeral? Only if they strap a lot of TNT on it. I can't imagine a insaner funeral. | 2010-12-07 22:39:00 Author: gdn001 Posts: 5891 |
| After being told I have 10 minutes to live, I'd try loads of things I'm too scared to do now, screw the consequences, I'm gonna die anyway. So I'd start by smoking loads, then I'd take loads of drugs and get high, then I'd drink loads of alcohol and get drunk. Then I'd run out onto the streets naked and slap loads of police men in the face. Then I'd dress horses up in bikini's, take a picture with a playstation eye and upload it on LBP. I'd then proceed to place the bikini wearing horses into a giant blender, with a bit of salt and butter to add flavour. After that's completely liquidified I'd sell it on eBay as second hand orange juice. After making millions out of my new second hand "orange juice", I'd buy loads of useless objects and throw them at old people. Then I'd realise I have 8.431445 seconds left to live, so in a voice so high pitched not even dogs can hear it, I'd scream while proceeding to run round in circles and doing a funny lookin' dance. After 6 seconds have passed I'd lie down on the floor and prepare for death. Another 10 seconds later I'd still be alive. Confused, I'd go to the doctor and ask why I'm not dead. The doctor would laugh and point to the calendar, today was April 1st, "April Fools!!" the doctor would say laughing. Then I'd get a chainsaw and the story would then become to gruesome for LBPC, let's just say it ends with me dying in great pain after I decided to see if I could fit a whole chainsaw in my mouth and still sing Justin Bieber. I.....i'm speechless.... You good sir... have made me second guess my death.... | 2010-12-07 22:49:00 Author: Joshofsouls Posts: 1569 |
| @Incinerator22 (hmm, post deleted?) I thought you would die by going into a war, and having a tank malfunction that explodes while you're in it, setting you on fire. Which would be Ironic in two things. But yours is pretty interesting o: | 2010-12-07 23:12:00 Author: Unknown User |
| I would jump off a cliff and use my calculator to divide by zero. I would throw the calculator down below me, and it would hit the ground before I did. The sheer implications of dividing by zero turned it into an atom bomb. The resulting mushroom cloud blasts me back up into the air, so that I land on top of a plane. I then have an epic battle with a chicken who appears to have a vendetta against me, while drinking a STARBUCKS ? Strawberries and Cream Frappucino. After finishing my drink, I would use the straw to kill the chicken. I notice that the plane is preparing to SWAN DIVE INTO THE WORST TIME OF EVERYBODY ON BOARD'S LIFE. I suddenly would develop a bout of McGyver, and turn the chicken and the STARBUCKS ? Strawberries and Cream Frappucino into a complicated piston system that also would serve as a parachute. I would perform a freefall off of the airplane and deploy my parachute/piston system at the last possible second. I would land in the jungle and utilise my complicated piston system just before the plane impacted the ground. I would shoot up off of the piston platform and meet the plane head on. I don't die yet! When I hit the plane, it rebounds off of me and starts to go on a straight course towards New York City, which of course is awesome. The pilot miraculously regains control of the plane after I telepathically take control of his sensory arrays, controlling the amount of hormones such as adrenaline are running through his body. I do this in the air while drinking another STARBUCKS ? Strawberries and Cream Frappucino that materialized in my hand after I impacted the plane. As I come back down, I use my telekinetic powers to pull my piston system/ parachute towards me. Noticing that I have already changed into the present tense, I would revert back to the whatever-type-of-sense that this would be. When the piston system would have reached me, I would have had another fit of McGuyver-esqueness, and transform it into an air-skateboard, that uses energy crystals made from pure nitrogen triwhattheheckisthisxide. I would follow the plane to New York, only to discover that the cliff I had jumped off of in the beginning was the plane, and the hydrogen bomb had exploded the city of New York (which is awesome). My eyes would water billions of gallons of carbon dioxide and water, which would extinguish all the fires and miraculously rebuild the city to its original form. I then grow to 300x my normal size and give the plane a hug. It asplodes, but I manage to save everybody on board by creating a 0-gravity atmosphere. After that, I would lead them to safety, where everyone would have a fun time in the newly rebuilt NYC. I then do a cartwheel, somersault and backflip at the same time. This causes the earth to explode. Oops. I, and everyone else dies in a fit of sneezing, burping, farting, and coughing. I would wake up to find that it was a dream (why else would I say "I wake up") and that I am taking a few steps towards the edge of the same cliff from the beginning, and realize that I am in a circular existence, and am already dead. I shrug my shoulders, and decide to go with the flow because I am so awesome that I want to relive that experience over and over again, for that would be my version of heaven. ... Sorry, had to let off some steam there. | 2010-12-07 23:49:00 Author: Richasackboy  Posts: 619 |
| Based on teh pictures INan just posted in the ugly Mugs thing, i'm gonna stick with my most likely outcome, and stay with pub/alcohol. | 2010-12-07 23:57:00 Author: Unknown User |
| Can I just opt out? You can do that, right? | 2010-12-08 00:30:00 Author: rtm223  Posts: 6497 |
| Can I just opt out? You can do that, right? You can say that you want to die normally, then get um miraculousy right after. That's how the /b/ros die. | 2010-12-08 00:32:00 Author: gdn001 Posts: 5891 |
| I cant be botherd reading all of the pages so i risk looking stupid for saying what somebody else said. Old Age Or die as a small sackboy, (but we all know he dies but comes back to life heh heh) Or maybe getting killed by saving lots of lives (When im 96) | 2010-12-08 00:49:00 Author: SketchNZ  Posts: 1668 |
| As a cyborg ninja... Why not? Not only will I be a cyborg, but also a ninja. | 2010-12-08 01:45:00 Author: Bradlee  Posts: 96 |
| Can I just opt out? You can do that, right? No. You cannot opt out, once you click that link to this thread, you HAVE TO POST YOUR AWESOME DEATH! | 2010-12-08 01:46:00 Author: Joshofsouls Posts: 1569 |
| That's not a rule and besides RTM is too predictable. It will probably involve either Logic or Ninjas. | 2010-12-08 01:50:00 Author: KILLA_TODDZILLA Posts: 653 |
| That's not a rule and besides RTM is too predictable. It will probably involve either Logic or Ninjas. Yes it is, check the first post | 2010-12-08 01:58:00 Author: Joshofsouls Posts: 1569 |
| Well would die in 2 different ways. #1. A huge blizzard like The Day After Tomorrow. #2. Die next to the Media Molecule team along with the blizzard and playing LittleBigPlanet 2 (but no one in MM can die only me )Also I would die with the terminator lol | 2010-12-08 02:57:00 Author: Arnald23  Posts: 1843 |
| Well would die in 2 different ways. #1. A huge blizzard like The Day After Tomorrow. #2. Die next to the Media Molecule team along with the blizzard and playing LittleBigPlanet 2 (but no one in MM can die only me )Also I would die with the terminator lol -counts with fingers- (http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2008/02/funny-pictures-birthday-cat-can-count.jpg) That's 3 . . . | 2010-12-08 03:03:00 Author: Unknown User |
| It's all so surreal...one minute I was fine, then the bite, and the next thing I knew I woke up as a vampire in a video game. (I got better!) | 2010-12-08 03:22:00 Author: TheCountessZ  Posts: 537 |
| What an awesome thread! I'd die warning people about the dangers of nitroglycerin and unstable dynamite. And I'd die playing with them, after ignoring you. Actually, she would die, unlike ezio and altair, she is not a trained assassin, most likely she would snap her neck! I'm a trained assassin, and I can't do it. They never covered leaps of faith at assassin college. | 2010-12-08 09:31:00 Author: Weretigr Posts: 2105 |
| I'm a trained assassin, and I can't do it. They never covered leaps of faith at assassin college. Yeah, they never cover the actual important skills there - Just useless stuff like pickpocketing. :/ I think you have to go to one of those expensive ones to learn leaps of faith, or get a tutor - Both are pretty pricey, they can run up to 50,000 florins a month! | 2010-12-08 09:43:00 Author: TheZimInvader Posts: 3149 |
| Yeah, they never cover the actual important skills there - Just useless stuff like pickpocketing. :/ I think you have to go to one of those expensive ones to learn leaps of faith, or get a tutor - Both are pretty pricey, they can run up to 50,000 florins a month! They cover base jumping in soldier college, which is pretty similar. In our last class, we had to invade a base jumping from a plane that flew 15 meters above the base. Without a parachute. I got an B+ because I jumped into a wheelbarrow that they were using to carry hay, but it was out of hay. | 2010-12-08 10:04:00 Author: gdn001 Posts: 5891 |
| Yeah, they never cover the actual important skills there - Just useless stuff like pickpocketing. :/ I think you have to go to one of those expensive ones to learn leaps of faith, or get a tutor - Both are pretty pricey, they can run up to 50,000 florins a month! Jesus Christ! That much?? Good job the leaping from tall buildings isn't THAT useful if you want to live. Still. They did give me a hidden blade upon graduation! But it was so well hidden that, years later, I still haven't found it | 2010-12-08 10:05:00 Author: Weretigr Posts: 2105 |
| I'd die in the middle of a backflip....or killed by chuck norris..that would be an honour | 2010-12-08 11:03:00 Author: Hellobob5  Posts: 382 |
| I'd die in the middle of a backflip....or killed by chuck norris..that would be an honour You mean RockSauron? He's the Chuck Norris of LBP =L | 2010-12-08 11:22:00 Author: Weretigr Posts: 2105 |
| I made a similar thread to this one on the Left 4 Dead forums; Everyone was posting their "Zombie Survival" stories - and I pointed out that in any Zombie fare, there are normally millions of zombies and only a handfull of survivors... so the law of averages states that come the Zombie Apocalypse, you will most likely be turned into one of them - or be killed at the hands of another group of survivors. So I encouraged people to post their "How I succumbed to the Zombie Apocalypse" stories... and still people couldn;t get their heads around it - still posting their survival stories eg; "I'd fight my way to the gun store and then it'd be raining zombie brains baby!" - conveniently skipping the part where they would have to traverse a zombie infested landscape to get to the gun shop - and dealing (unarmed) with the person who is already at the gun shop (the gun shop owner or looters). Personally, I'd like to think that I'd be on stage playing guitar - the crowd seem rowdier than usual - and then what at first appears to be a stage invasion turns out to be a zombie attack - and I end up wandering the ruined, zombified earth with a guitar still strapped to my back | 2010-12-08 14:00:00 Author: Macnme  Posts: 1970 |
| I would begin knifing the zombies on the first waves, then open all the doors and turn on the power, buy a shotgun and upgrade it and hope to get a Ray Gun or Monkey Bomb at the mistery crate... Wait, are you talking about the real zombie apocalipse? | 2010-12-08 14:07:00 Author: gdn001 Posts: 5891 |
| Yup, It's only a matter of time. "when" not "if" | 2010-12-08 14:09:00 Author: Macnme Posts: 1970 |
| Then it's better start stockpiling weapons in your house and be ready, then laugh as the others die when they try to go to the gun shop and get own3d by the zombies. I would stockpile 5 different types of shotguns. Shotguns are the best against zombies, followed my machine guns, assault rifles and SMGs. The worst choices are sniper rifles and pistols. | 2010-12-08 14:11:00 Author: gdn001 Posts: 5891 |
| Then it's better start stockpiling weapons in your house and be ready, then laugh as the others die when they try to go to the gun shop and get own3d by the zombies. I would stockpile 5 different types of shotguns. Shotguns are the best against zombies, followed my machine guns, assault rifles and SMGs. The worst choices are sniper rifles and pistols. Terrible choices.. no offense. Those guns would alert many thousands of zombies (unless you live in a very remote rural area) to your position... every zombie for miles around would hear the shots and know that there was living flesh for them to consume... pretty soon you'd find yourself surrounded by more zombies than you have ammo. You'd then be barricaded in until you either ran out of food or the zombies eventually smash their way through. The best thing you could do would be to use the ammo on yourself. That's my plan for the zombie apocalypse... suicide... it's the only sensible option | 2010-12-08 14:30:00 Author: Macnme Posts: 1970 |
| Put a silencer on every gun = PROFIT Well, if I knew that I would die, then I would keep killing the zombies, at least it's fun! | 2010-12-08 14:56:00 Author: gdn001 Posts: 5891 |
| Seriously though, I would probably die by jumping into the clouds from a helicopter while a lightning storm is about and get 1,000,000V right across my face. Though that would just leave a Thunderbolt scarr, I would then plumet to my doom. | 2010-12-08 15:05:00 Author: The-Questor Posts: 1328 |
| Put a silencer on every gun = PROFIT Well, if I knew that I would die, then I would keep killing the zombies, at least it's fun! You do realise it'll be your friends and family who's faces you'll have to explode in order to survive. That's not my idea of fun. And if they manage to survive with you, then that will put alot of extra strain on your finite resourses of canned food and water. And also increase the likelyhood that one of them will become a zombie and infect the rest of the group. If years of watching Zombie flicks have taught me anything - it's that the best thing you can do, to avoid the true horrors of the zombie apocalypse - would be to kill yourself as quickly and as painlessly as possible. The future is bleak - the future is ZOMBIES!!!! (What's a zombies favourite mode of transport? - Traaaaaiiiiiinnnsss! ) | 2010-12-08 15:09:00 Author: Macnme Posts: 1970 |
| I shall cry when I kill them then. An option would be steal an airplane... The pros are: Zombies can't fly. The cons: fuel, food and I don't know how to pilot a plane. Well, I will die anyway. | 2010-12-08 15:15:00 Author: gdn001 Posts: 5891 |
| I made a similar thread to this one on the Left 4 Dead forums; Everyone was posting their "Zombie Survival" stories - and I pointed out that in any Zombie fare, there are normally millions of zombies and only a handfull of survivors... so the law of averages states that come the Zombie Apocalypse, you will most likely be turned into one of them - or be killed at the hands of another group of survivors. So I encouraged people to post their "How I succumbed to the Zombie Apocalypse" stories... and still people couldn;t get their heads around it - still posting their survival stories eg; "I'd fight my way to the gun store and then it'd be raining zombie brains baby!" - conveniently skipping the part where they would have to traverse a zombie infested landscape to get to the gun shop - and dealing (unarmed) with the person who is already at the gun shop (the gun shop owner or looters). Personally, I'd like to think that I'd be on stage playing guitar - the crowd seem rowdier than usual - and then what at first appears to be a stage invasion turns out to be a zombie attack - and I end up wandering the ruined, zombified earth with a guitar still strapped to my back I found this article a while back stating reasons why a zombie apocalypse would fail. Take a look! You may find it interesting. http://www.cracked.com/article_18683_7-scientific-reasons-zombie-outbreak-would-fail-quickly.html | 2010-12-08 16:02:00 Author: Weretigr Posts: 2105 |
| Don't get me started on the zombie apocalypse. 1. Shotgun ammo is heavy. 2. You would have to carry ALL that ammo, when most of the time you want to be AVOIDING zombies. 3. MACHETES FTW Me and my dad are 100% prepared for the zombie apocalypse. We have an escape plan and everything. To bad that if our plan fails (according to him), we're fuc-/bitten by a zombie ooooh maaaaah gaaaaawd the paaaain | 2010-12-08 16:34:00 Author: Testudini Posts: 3262 |
| One of my friends makes guns out of junk, he is ready for the Zombie apocalipse!!! | 2010-12-08 16:38:00 Author: gdn001 Posts: 5891 |
| Their wont be a zombie apocalypse I have 600 nuclear warheads hidden in a secure location, if there ever happens to be an outbreak of the zombie virus I will use the warheads as a form of vaccination on the human race. If their are no humans left there is no one left to have the virus transferred to. | 2010-12-08 17:37:00 Author: robotiod Posts: 2662 |
| Don't get me started on the zombie apocalypse. 1. Shotgun ammo is heavy. 2. You would have to carry ALL that ammo, when most of the time you want to be AVOIDING zombies. 3. MACHETES FTW Me and my dad are 100% prepared for the zombie apocalypse. We have an escape plan and everything. To bad that if our plan fails (according to him), we're fuc-/bitten by a zombie ooooh maaaaah gaaaaawd the paaaain Take a look at that link I posted. On one page it says how zombies need to be up close to attack, which is like trying to attack a lion everytime he wants to eat, and humans can attack from a distance with weapons. Another talks about... Ahh heck, I'll just stick it in a spoiler tag. #7 They have to many natural predators. Do you know why we, as humans, are at the top of the current food chain? Not because we're hard to kill (well, with the exception of Steven Seagal). We're not; we're little more than tasty flesh bags waiting for an errant horn or claw to spill our guts like a meat pinata. No, we're on top simply because we are so absurdly good at killing things ourselves. A good offense, as they say, is the best de-LOOK THERE'S A DUCK! MURDER IT! We are simply too smart and too well-armed for any wild animal to hunt. Now consider the poor zombie. It lacks every single advantage that has kept humanity from being eaten to extinction. It wanders around in the open, it can't use weapons, it can't think or use strategy. It doesn't even have the sense of self preservation to run and hide when it's in danger. And, it's made entirely out of food. It's easy prey for any animal that wants it. If you're saying, "Sure, but it's not like my city is full of bears that can come eat all the zombies," you need to think smaller. Insects are a major pain in the *** for living humans, and in some cases, being able to swat away flies and having an immune system is the only thing keeping us from having our eyes and tongues eaten out by maggots. Zombies in any part of the world with a fly problem are going to be swarming with maggots in short order, meaning that most of their soft tissues will be infested, and their eyes will be very quickly useless. We'll scale up a bit: In America alone, we have bears, wolves, coyotes and cougars, all of which can put well-armed, thinking, fast-moving humans on the menu, if the conditions are right. To most predators, the "right conditions" are when the animal is weak or infirm, or otherwise generally unable to defend themselves, like a walking corpse. Hell, just think of the millions of stray dogs out there who'll quickly learn that zombies are an easy meal. Now imagine zombie hordes wandering Africa. Between lions and cape buffalo (and hippos, and rhinos, and elephants), we'd finally have a disease that Africa is better suited than the rest of the world to defend itself against. #6 They can't take the heat. It's generally accepted by zombie experts that they're going to continue to rot, even as they shamble around the streets. What the movies fail to convey, however, is the gruesome yet strangely hilarious effect the hot sun has on a rotting corpse. The first concern is putrefaction. Thanks to the plethora of bacteria we use in our colon for digesting plant matter, called gut flora, our bodies are ripe for decay the second our heart stops. Since heat speeds the growth of bacteria (which are plenty happy to start feasting on you once your immune system is no longer a concern) the zombie's got a looming expiration date the very second it turns. Dead bodies bloat because of the gases created by the bacteria, meaning that in warmer areas even Abercrombie Zombies are going to start getting fat in the first few days. After a few weeks of this, the nasty, bloated zombie army is going to start doing something that is simultaneously the most awesome and disturbing thing a zombie can do: they will start exploding (CAUTION! Pictures!). The warm, moist conditions in the tropical and subtropical parts of the world (or even just summer in the temperate parts) speeds this condition, meaning a July zombie outbreak pretty much anywhere would be over in a few weeks just by virtue of the rampaging monsters bursting like rancid meat balloons. At the other end of the heat spectrum is dry heat. If you're in Phoenix or the Sahara when the apocalypse hits, the zombies might begin to mummify in the blazing sun and heat. While the normal symptoms of dehydration are not a concern for a zombie, there is the problem of desiccation. With no reasonable means of replenishing the water in their cells, zombies walking around in the Texas heat all day are going to suffer cell damage due to direct sun exposure to their skin, and thanks to the drying effect wind has, the Southwestern dead will stumble around more and more ineffectively until, at some point, they simply drop and wait for the scavengers to come pick them up for the annual Slim Jim harvest. So they'd better hope the outbreak happens during the winter, right? Well... #5 They can't handle the cold. bies are dead meat. No arguing that; it's their one defining characteristic. But everybody focuses on that "dead" part like it's such a huge deal. They often forget about the "meat." Do you know what else is dead meat? Steak, hamburger, possibly even that red grease mush inside of Taco Bell food. When flesh is alive, it's got all sorts of defense systems to keep it that way. When it's dead, you have to throw it away in about a week even if you seal it up in plastic and keep it at a carefully modulated temperature. Now, your first inclination may be to think of cold as dead meat's friend, after all, the surest way to defeat that week-long deadline is to freeze steak, keeping it fresh for months. But don't forget: Unregulated cold does awful **** to formerly living things. If you live far enough north, the zombie apocalypse will probably work itself out the first time it tries to go outside. The first zombie-killer is the simple fact that the human body is mostly water, and water freezes. Once the temperature drops to freezing (or near it with a high wind chill), zombies will become significantly more rigid. After enough exposure, a dead body is going to be frozen solid and not chasing down any screaming victims, no matter how delicious and Rascal Scooter-bound they might be. It's also safe to assume that zombies wandering around in a wintry wonderland are not going to be wrapped air-tight in plastic like we do with food, so freezer burn becomes an issue. Seriously. The same thing that ruins your ice cream also ruins the Undead Onslaught. The freezing of the flesh at night, combined with partial thaw during warmer days, then refreezing again sets up the perfect conditions for the onset of freezer burn, which results in the cells dehydrating as water evaporates, even when frozen solid. Freezer burned meat isn't just dead, it's destroyed. #4 Biting is a Terrible Way to Spread a Disease Hey, remember that time when that dog got rabies, and then a day later, every single other dog on the continent had it, except for a small band of survivors huddled in a basement? No? That never happened? Nearly all of the zombie movies agree on one thing: They reproduce like a disease, one that spreads via a bite from the infected (like they have a virus carried by zombie saliva or whatever). But this also means their spread should be subject to the same rules of a normal epidemic, and biting is a [rubbish] way to get an epidemic going. The successful diseases have some really clever way to invisibly spread from victim to victim. The flu has killed tens of millions because it floats right through the air, the black plague was spread by fleas, etc. Not a single one of them requires the infected to get within biting distance to spread their infection. Sure, sexually transmitted diseases like AIDS work that way, but that's only because the infected can pass for the uninfected. Nobody is going to be having sex with a zombie. But let's say there is an outbreak, like if one zombie was able to bite 30 people in the crowd at an Insane Clown Posse concert before they figured out it wasn't part of the show. It's not like mankind is just utterly confused about what to do when an infection breaks out. In America you have the Center for Disease Control (CDC,) who don't tend to **** around. Seriously, it's on their business cards. Remember the SARS outbreak? That originated in China. The CDC and the World Health Organization put the clamps down on international travel the second it was found to have spread to North America. Flights were grounded, travel between borders was locked tight and only 43 people on the entire continent died. With zombieism, they don't even have to solve the mystery about how it's transmitted. It's that guy biting people. Shoot him in the head. #3 They can't heal from day to day damage. One advantage to having a fully-functioning central nervous system is that it also does a **** good job of letting you know you've been damaged. It does this by way of pain. Think about all the paper cuts, stubbed toes and nut shots you have suffered in your life. Now imagine they never healed, just sat there and rotted while you continued to rack up other paper cuts, stubbed toes and nut shots. Pretty much every wound you've ever had would end with an amputation. One thing we know about zombies from Romero and Fulci is that they are a clumsy lot, walking into doors and helicopter blades without a second thought about what kind of damage they are suffering. While complete insensitivity to pain seems like an awesome superpower in theory; in real life, you wind up being more like Mr. Burns than Wolverine. Congenital insensitivity to pain is a neurological condition that some people are born with, meaning they don't feel pain. They can feel everything else, but the absence of pain means they accrue damage to their bodies but are unaware of it. Even with the ability to call for help, loved ones watching out for them and our coddling society, this can still lead to all kinds of terrible ****, like infected body parts and bitten off pieces of tongue. All the dings and bangs zombies will suffer after tripping, walking off of bridges and stumbling around on dark cloudy nights will eventually leave them limbless, toothless and with every bone in their body broken. Seriously, in the event of the Zombie Apocalypse, just stay inside, watch all the episodes of 24 back to back, then walk out on your lawn with your Corpse Rake and tidy up (you will have to buy a Corpse Rake, however, if for some reason you don't already have one). #2 The Landscape is Full of Zombie-Proof Barriers The zombies' lack of coordination, along with the inability to see in the dark (we haven't had any infrared zombies yet, but holy ****! We call dibs on the idea) is going to spell the doom of countless zombies in any area outside of a parking lot. This is a group that doesn't know how to find roads or bridges. They just go wandering off aimlessly. Mountains, major rivers and canyons would thus quickly be home to piles of broken zombie rags stinking up the scenic views. Even if zombies had the foresight to not walk over cliffs or into raging rapids during the day, nightfall would result in most eventually walking into rivers, over cliffs and off of bridges, diminishing their numbers. But even in nice, flat, paved cities, where it would seem like people would be extra-****ed, the landscape still works in favor of the living. History has shown that in most awful situations, people don't always act like the panicky idiots in a horror movie. In cities, people would likely congregate in the upper levels of high-rise buildings, where the invasion can be held at bay with simple security doors. Also, the streets themselves would keep the undead corralled in straight, easy-to-aim-down lines where they could be picked off by snipers, or just bored office-workers waiting out the quarantine by dropping office supplies onto the undead from the top floors. #1 Weapons and the People Who Use Them. As we touched on briefly above, if Homo sapiens are good at one thing, it's killing other things. We're so good at it that we've made entire other species cease to exist without even trying. Add to the mix the sheer number of armed rednecks and hunters out there, and the zombies don't even stand a chance. There were over 14 million people hunting with a license in the U.S. in 2004. At a minimum, that's like an armed force the size of the great Los Angeles area. Remember, the whole reason hunting licenses exist is to limit the number of animals you're allowed to kill, because if you just declared free reign for everybody with a gun, everything in the forest would be dead by sundown. Even the trees would be mounted proudly above the late-arriving hunter's mantles. It's safe to assume that when the game changes from "three deer" to "all the rotting dead people trying to eat us," there will be no shortage of volunteers. Plus, if we look at zombies as a species, they are pretty much designed for failure. Their main form of reproduction is also their only source of food and their top predator. If they want to eat or reproduce, they have to go toe to toe with their number one predator every single time. That's like having to fight a lion every time you to want to have sex or make a sandwich. Actually, it's worse than that: Most top predators are only armed with teeth and claws, meaning they have to put themselves in harm's way to score a kill. Humans have rifles. The zombies have no choice but to walk into bullets. And all this isn't even counting all the other household hand guns in the world, nor the fact that zombies also have to contend with IEDs, Molotov cocktails, baseball bats, crowbars and cars that the general public will no doubt be using to cull their numbers. And that's just from the civilian population; counting the military and police, we have another three million or so armed people, and instead of just handguns shotguns and hunting rifles, they have machine guns, combat shotguns, sniper rifles, assault rifles, sub-machine guns, grenade launchers and the occasional taser, not to mention the training to use them effectively. But why would they even bother? When they could just roll over swaths of zombies in tanks, blast them with cluster bombs and MOABs and mow them down with miniguns from the god **** Air Force that every zombie flick seems to forget about. Really, a zombie apocalypse is just laughable. Now robots on the other hand... Read whole article: http://www.cracked.com/article_18683_7-scientific-reasons-zombie-outbreak-would-fail-quickly.html#ixzz17XhatNci | 2010-12-08 17:46:00 Author: Weretigr Posts: 2105 |
| Take a look at that link I posted. On one page it says how zombies need to be up close to attack, which is like trying to attack a lion everytime he wants to eat, and humans can attack from a distance with weapons. Another talks about... Ahh heck, I'll just stick it in a spoiler tag. #7 They have to many natural predators. Do you know why we, as humans, are at the top of the current food chain? Not because we're hard to kill (well, with the exception of Steven Seagal). We're not; we're little more than tasty flesh bags waiting for an errant horn or claw to spill our guts like a meat pinata. No, we're on top simply because we are so absurdly good at killing things ourselves. A good offense, as they say, is the best de-LOOK THERE'S A DUCK! MURDER IT! We are simply too smart and too well-armed for any wild animal to hunt. Now consider the poor zombie. It lacks every single advantage that has kept humanity from being eaten to extinction. It wanders around in the open, it can't use weapons, it can't think or use strategy. It doesn't even have the sense of self preservation to run and hide when it's in danger. And, it's made entirely out of food. It's easy prey for any animal that wants it. If you're saying, "Sure, but it's not like my city is full of bears that can come eat all the zombies," you need to think smaller. Insects are a major pain in the *** for living humans, and in some cases, being able to swat away flies and having an immune system is the only thing keeping us from having our eyes and tongues eaten out by maggots. Zombies in any part of the world with a fly problem are going to be swarming with maggots in short order, meaning that most of their soft tissues will be infested, and their eyes will be very quickly useless. We'll scale up a bit: In America alone, we have bears, wolves, coyotes and cougars, all of which can put well-armed, thinking, fast-moving humans on the menu, if the conditions are right. To most predators, the "right conditions" are when the animal is weak or infirm, or otherwise generally unable to defend themselves, like a walking corpse. Hell, just think of the millions of stray dogs out there who'll quickly learn that zombies are an easy meal. Now imagine zombie hordes wandering Africa. Between lions and cape buffalo (and hippos, and rhinos, and elephants), we'd finally have a disease that Africa is better suited than the rest of the world to defend itself against. #6 They can't take the heat. It's generally accepted by zombie experts that they're going to continue to rot, even as they shamble around the streets. What the movies fail to convey, however, is the gruesome yet strangely hilarious effect the hot sun has on a rotting corpse. The first concern is putrefaction. Thanks to the plethora of bacteria we use in our colon for digesting plant matter, called gut flora, our bodies are ripe for decay the second our heart stops. Since heat speeds the growth of bacteria (which are plenty happy to start feasting on you once your immune system is no longer a concern) the zombie's got a looming expiration date the very second it turns. Dead bodies bloat because of the gases created by the bacteria, meaning that in warmer areas even Abercrombie Zombies are going to start getting fat in the first few days. After a few weeks of this, the nasty, bloated zombie army is going to start doing something that is simultaneously the most awesome and disturbing thing a zombie can do: they will start exploding (CAUTION! Pictures!). The warm, moist conditions in the tropical and subtropical parts of the world (or even just summer in the temperate parts) speeds this condition, meaning a July zombie outbreak pretty much anywhere would be over in a few weeks just by virtue of the rampaging monsters bursting like rancid meat balloons. At the other end of the heat spectrum is dry heat. If you're in Phoenix or the Sahara when the apocalypse hits, the zombies might begin to mummify in the blazing sun and heat. While the normal symptoms of dehydration are not a concern for a zombie, there is the problem of desiccation. With no reasonable means of replenishing the water in their cells, zombies walking around in the Texas heat all day are going to suffer cell damage due to direct sun exposure to their skin, and thanks to the drying effect wind has, the Southwestern dead will stumble around more and more ineffectively until, at some point, they simply drop and wait for the scavengers to come pick them up for the annual Slim Jim harvest. So they'd better hope the outbreak happens during the winter, right? Well... #5 They can't handle the cold. bies are dead meat. No arguing that; it's their one defining characteristic. But everybody focuses on that "dead" part like it's such a huge deal. They often forget about the "meat." Do you know what else is dead meat? Steak, hamburger, possibly even that red grease mush inside of Taco Bell food. When flesh is alive, it's got all sorts of defense systems to keep it that way. When it's dead, you have to throw it away in about a week even if you seal it up in plastic and keep it at a carefully modulated temperature. Now, your first inclination may be to think of cold as dead meat's friend, after all, the surest way to defeat that week-long deadline is to freeze steak, keeping it fresh for months. But don't forget: Unregulated cold does awful **** to formerly living things. If you live far enough north, the zombie apocalypse will probably work itself out the first time it tries to go outside. The first zombie-killer is the simple fact that the human body is mostly water, and water freezes. Once the temperature drops to freezing (or near it with a high wind chill), zombies will become significantly more rigid. After enough exposure, a dead body is going to be frozen solid and not chasing down any screaming victims, no matter how delicious and Rascal Scooter-bound they might be. It's also safe to assume that zombies wandering around in a wintry wonderland are not going to be wrapped air-tight in plastic like we do with food, so freezer burn becomes an issue. Seriously. The same thing that ruins your ice cream also ruins the Undead Onslaught. The freezing of the flesh at night, combined with partial thaw during warmer days, then refreezing again sets up the perfect conditions for the onset of freezer burn, which results in the cells dehydrating as water evaporates, even when frozen solid. Freezer burned meat isn't just dead, it's destroyed. #4 Biting is a Terrible Way to Spread a Disease Hey, remember that time when that dog got rabies, and then a day later, every single other dog on the continent had it, except for a small band of survivors huddled in a basement? No? That never happened? Nearly all of the zombie movies agree on one thing: They reproduce like a disease, one that spreads via a bite from the infected (like they have a virus carried by zombie saliva or whatever). But this also means their spread should be subject to the same rules of a normal epidemic, and biting is a [rubbish] way to get an epidemic going. The successful diseases have some really clever way to invisibly spread from victim to victim. The flu has killed tens of millions because it floats right through the air, the black plague was spread by fleas, etc. Not a single one of them requires the infected to get within biting distance to spread their infection. Sure, sexually transmitted diseases like AIDS work that way, but that's only because the infected can pass for the uninfected. Nobody is going to be having sex with a zombie. But let's say there is an outbreak, like if one zombie was able to bite 30 people in the crowd at an Insane Clown Posse concert before they figured out it wasn't part of the show. It's not like mankind is just utterly confused about what to do when an infection breaks out. In America you have the Center for Disease Control (CDC,) who don't tend to **** around. Seriously, it's on their business cards. Remember the SARS outbreak? That originated in China. The CDC and the World Health Organization put the clamps down on international travel the second it was found to have spread to North America. Flights were grounded, travel between borders was locked tight and only 43 people on the entire continent died. With zombieism, they don't even have to solve the mystery about how it's transmitted. It's that guy biting people. Shoot him in the head. #3 They can't heal from day to day damage. One advantage to having a fully-functioning central nervous system is that it also does a **** good job of letting you know you've been damaged. It does this by way of pain. Think about all the paper cuts, stubbed toes and nut shots you have suffered in your life. Now imagine they never healed, just sat there and rotted while you continued to rack up other paper cuts, stubbed toes and nut shots. Pretty much every wound you've ever had would end with an amputation. One thing we know about zombies from Romero and Fulci is that they are a clumsy lot, walking into doors and helicopter blades without a second thought about what kind of damage they are suffering. While complete insensitivity to pain seems like an awesome superpower in theory; in real life, you wind up being more like Mr. Burns than Wolverine. Congenital insensitivity to pain is a neurological condition that some people are born with, meaning they don't feel pain. They can feel everything else, but the absence of pain means they accrue damage to their bodies but are unaware of it. Even with the ability to call for help, loved ones watching out for them and our coddling society, this can still lead to all kinds of terrible ****, like infected body parts and bitten off pieces of tongue. All the dings and bangs zombies will suffer after tripping, walking off of bridges and stumbling around on dark cloudy nights will eventually leave them limbless, toothless and with every bone in their body broken. Seriously, in the event of the Zombie Apocalypse, just stay inside, watch all the episodes of 24 back to back, then walk out on your lawn with your Corpse Rake and tidy up (you will have to buy a Corpse Rake, however, if for some reason you don't already have one). #2 The Landscape is Full of Zombie-Proof Barriers The zombies' lack of coordination, along with the inability to see in the dark (we haven't had any infrared zombies yet, but holy ****! We call dibs on the idea) is going to spell the doom of countless zombies in any area outside of a parking lot. This is a group that doesn't know how to find roads or bridges. They just go wandering off aimlessly. Mountains, major rivers and canyons would thus quickly be home to piles of broken zombie rags stinking up the scenic views. Even if zombies had the foresight to not walk over cliffs or into raging rapids during the day, nightfall would result in most eventually walking into rivers, over cliffs and off of bridges, diminishing their numbers. But even in nice, flat, paved cities, where it would seem like people would be extra-****ed, the landscape still works in favor of the living. History has shown that in most awful situations, people don't always act like the panicky idiots in a horror movie. In cities, people would likely congregate in the upper levels of high-rise buildings, where the invasion can be held at bay with simple security doors. Also, the streets themselves would keep the undead corralled in straight, easy-to-aim-down lines where they could be picked off by snipers, or just bored office-workers waiting out the quarantine by dropping office supplies onto the undead from the top floors. #1 Weapons and the People Who Use Them. As we touched on briefly above, if Homo sapiens are good at one thing, it's killing other things. We're so good at it that we've made entire other species cease to exist without even trying. Add to the mix the sheer number of armed rednecks and hunters out there, and the zombies don't even stand a chance. There were over 14 million people hunting with a license in the U.S. in 2004. At a minimum, that's like an armed force the size of the great Los Angeles area. Remember, the whole reason hunting licenses exist is to limit the number of animals you're allowed to kill, because if you just declared free reign for everybody with a gun, everything in the forest would be dead by sundown. Even the trees would be mounted proudly above the late-arriving hunter's mantles. It's safe to assume that when the game changes from "three deer" to "all the rotting dead people trying to eat us," there will be no shortage of volunteers. Plus, if we look at zombies as a species, they are pretty much designed for failure. Their main form of reproduction is also their only source of food and their top predator. If they want to eat or reproduce, they have to go toe to toe with their number one predator every single time. That's like having to fight a lion every time you to want to have sex or make a sandwich. Actually, it's worse than that: Most top predators are only armed with teeth and claws, meaning they have to put themselves in harm's way to score a kill. Humans have rifles. The zombies have no choice but to walk into bullets. And all this isn't even counting all the other household hand guns in the world, nor the fact that zombies also have to contend with IEDs, Molotov cocktails, baseball bats, crowbars and cars that the general public will no doubt be using to cull their numbers. And that's just from the civilian population; counting the military and police, we have another three million or so armed people, and instead of just handguns shotguns and hunting rifles, they have machine guns, combat shotguns, sniper rifles, assault rifles, sub-machine guns, grenade launchers and the occasional taser, not to mention the training to use them effectively. But why would they even bother? When they could just roll over swaths of zombies in tanks, blast them with cluster bombs and MOABs and mow them down with miniguns from the god **** Air Force that every zombie flick seems to forget about. Really, a zombie apocalypse is just laughable. Now robots on the other hand... Read whole article: http://www.cracked.com/article_18683_7-scientific-reasons-zombie-outbreak-would-fail-quickly.html#ixzz17XhatNci In that case melee weapons will be just as good /rant Anyways, lets stop going off-topic and make it its own thread if need be. | 2010-12-08 17:50:00 Author: Testudini Posts: 3262 |
| You know, the commonly known unliving dead zombie is impossible, but the way I see it you could create a virus messing up the emotional center of the host or something and as well stimulate whatever area controls anger so he becomes raving mad and not able to control himself, therefore attacking others. Normal senses would still be intact. That would be a lot more dangerous zombie. | 2010-12-08 17:57:00 Author: moonwire Posts: 1627 |
| How would I die?.. Here's how. I would be riding a skateboard on top of a surf board while shooting swords out of both armpits, singing opera music. I would go into battle with a shark, and when I shot him with my swords he would die. But then I'de die because a sneaky ninja hamster stabbed me through the heart. That's how I would die. | 2010-12-08 18:11:00 Author: jalr2d2  Posts: 256 |
| You know, the commonly known unliving dead zombie is impossible, but the way I see it you could create a virus messing up the emotional center of the host or something and as well stimulate whatever area controls anger so he becomes raving mad and not able to control himself, therefore attacking others. Normal senses would still be intact. That would be a lot more dangerous zombie. Except they would be killed in seconds. | 2010-12-08 18:13:00 Author: robotiod Posts: 2662 |
| You know, the commonly known unliving dead zombie is impossible, but the way I see it you could create a virus messing up the emotional center of the host or something and as well stimulate whatever area controls anger so he becomes raving mad and not able to control himself, therefore attacking others. Normal senses would still be intact. That would be a lot more dangerous zombie. The phrase "blinded by rage" comes to mind... Anyway! I'd die by accidentally myself. | 2010-12-08 18:43:00 Author: Weretigr Posts: 2105 |
| Hmm....Here's a good one! Too much of this, ( .+[___] :: ) PSP baby! | 2010-12-09 20:17:00 Author: The-Questor Posts: 1328 |
| But really I'd like to die in a nuclear explosion and strike an awesome pose as my shadow is burned to the wall. | 2010-12-09 21:08:00 Author: Kern  Posts: 5078 |
| Man, this thread is doing really well, and i'm seeing some great ones!! I'm gonna post the best ones on the first page soon, just gotta help my buddy finish some of the frames in his animation! KEEP EM COMING! | 2010-12-10 18:02:00 Author: Joshofsouls Posts: 1569 |
| Hmm....Here's a good one! Too much of this, ( .+[___] :: ) PSP baby! Ohhh PSP......I thought it was a poor attempt at drawing something much ruder...you know until I read PSP | 2010-12-10 18:23:00 Author: MrFunctionality Posts: 637 |
| Well I would probably die when I someone creates a teleporter. I would probably trip and fall so half my body would be in and the other out. Then I could do that chopped in half magic trick pretty good ay? Although I would die from mass blood loss and lack of nutritional cookies. :hero: | 2010-12-10 22:06:00 Author: AssassinatorRFC  Posts: 715 |
| I would be in the forest looking for some Pokemon. I would then find a Weedle, and think to myself "OH MAI GAWD I NEED THAT  "So, I would take out my only Master Ball from my backpack, and throw it at the Weedle, but just as I do so, there is a huge gust of wind, which sends the Master Ball right back at me. It hits me straight on my head, which activates it. Realising my fate, I would say a memorable and heroic quote just before it captures me. Once captured, the wind would then make the ball roll off of the nearby cliff, making me smash against numerous numerous rocks, and then fall into the ocean. I would drift for a hundred years, then get swallowed up by a whale. The Weedle, seeing this, would tell the tale of my death to its children, and they would do the same, and so on until there is a nuclear apocalypse, which would wipe out all living things, apart from creatures encased in Pokeballs, and Weedles. The Weedle's greatx50000 grandchildren would then somehow find the Master Ball that I'm stuck in, and recognising all of the cuts and dents on it that their greatx50000 grandfather told them about when it saw me fall off of the cliff, would spend the rest of their lives trying to free me. In their dying breath, they all give a humongous push on the release button, and open up the Master Ball. They then die thinking that they saved a life, but little did they know... ...I rotted away a million years ago... | 2010-12-12 19:52:00 Author: FlaminHotDawg  Posts: 17 |
| pfft, high speed chase, and i fight off a clift and not make it lol (: | 2010-12-12 21:05:00 Author: Unknown User |
| I'd die in a Floodxsplosion (water explosion | 2010-12-13 03:03:00 Author: HighTechChaos  Posts: 4 |
| hmm... Going to japan and eat Fugu. The chef made a mistake but i'm happy 'cause had a fine meal. | 2010-12-14 13:22:00 Author: DeKay1980  Posts: 183 |
| In Battle or after a giant shootout | 2010-12-14 20:56:00 Author: Unknown User |
| I'm suprised no one has said they would die blowing up justing beiber by suicide bombing him.... odd | 2010-12-14 22:23:00 Author: Joshofsouls Posts: 1569 |
| I'm not going to go into too much detail, but it envolves a sexualy charged Jessica Alba | 2010-12-14 23:32:00 Author: MrFunctionality Posts: 637 |
| :O That sounds naughty! Tell me more  | 2010-12-16 18:06:00 Author: Joshofsouls Posts: 1569 |
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