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Industrial Caverns Part 1

Archive: 55 posts

Industrial Caverns Part 1John82wa
Your elevator down into the mines has broke! You have no choice but to press forward... Explore a cave that appears to be an abandoned mine shaft. Simple logic and easy to med difficulty. Good detail with a very unique Mechanical piece that took some time. Hidden area included - Hopefully satisfying and enjoyable!
Hi all, im hopefully looking for some constructive criticism as this is my first and only published level. I have put some time into this, so I like to think it looks fairly polished but my thermo maxed out towards the end and a few extra ideas were left out because of this, so I would like a continuation for Part 2.....Thanks!

http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1272/5188729757_52fb3a40cb.jpg (http://www.flickr.com/photos/55176054@N05/5188729757/)
[/url] (http://www.flickr.com/photos/55176054@N05/5188729757/)

http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4090/5188729767_77c75a4fbb.jpg (http://www.flickr.com/photos/55176054@N05/5188729767/)
(http://www.flickr.com/photos/55176054@N05/5188729767/)

http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1296/5188729763_259189bf1a.jpg (http://www.flickr.com/photos/55176054@N05/5188729763/)
(http://www.flickr.com/photos/55176054@N05/5188729763/)

http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4090/5189329308_3a103ebfe9.jpg (http://www.flickr.com/photos/55176054@N05/5189329308/)
(http://www.flickr.com/photos/55176054@N05/5189329308/)

http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4055/5121317631_d377b29c3b.jpg (http://www.flickr.com/photos/55176054@N05/5121317631/)
(http://www.flickr.com/photos/55176054@N05/5121317631/)

http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1075/5121317627_7becdb9520.jpg (http://www.flickr.com/photos/55176054@N05/5121317627/)
(http://www.flickr.com/photos/55176054@N05/5121317627/)

http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1427/5121317635_710dd44d10.jpg (http://www.flickr.com/photos/55176054@N05/5121317635/)
[url=http://www.flickr.com/people/55176054@N05/] (http://www.flickr.com/photos/55176054@N05/5121317635/)

2010-10-27 18:32:00

Author:
John82wa

Posts: 221

that looks amazing, too bad it will be awhile before i get a chance to play it. *sigh* i have a hard time with gears... they always explode into dust on me, i don't quite know why though.

2010-10-28 11:35:00

Author:
flamesterart

Posts: 585

Feedback:

Positives:
+Puzzles were well done
+Platforming was good
+Change of music during gameplay
+Visuals looked pretty okay

Negatives:
-Didnt like how the pistons/winches were showing.

Sugguestions:
-Maybe after the area with the cogs puzzle & that door that lifts up with that winch, try covering it up with thin layer of rock material.

Overall the level was very good::star::star::star::star:

2010-10-28 14:56:00

Author:
Sabre_

Posts: 653

Well hopefully you can get around to it Flamesterart

I have also reviewed your series for you as well and posted on its appropriate thread

Sabre:
Thank you very much for you input. I was always debating on doing exactly what you said, but I ended up not doing so as it took away the mechanical feel. The winch was also visible for a clear image of what the gears did. I will go back and take a second look again though, because I agree with you 95% of the time, I hate seeing winches/pistons and the works

I have also got done with your SSBB Battleship level and will post the feedback on the thread. Excellent Level!!

Thanks again!!!
John

2010-10-28 17:05:00

Author:
John82wa

Posts: 221

UPDATE: Dialog was absent in the first go around and I have now tied a story into it. I have made the suggestions from Sabre and I agree now with covering up the winch but I think the room with the gears looks bare now with out seeing the pistons...I will leave them invisible for now and see what other kind of feedback I get from it

John D

2010-10-28 20:56:00

Author:
John82wa

Posts: 221

hey thanks again for the review! i will try your level tonight

2010-10-30 03:13:00

Author:
gigglecrab

Posts: 232

+ Nice organic looking cave/rocks.
- Orange square sponge can get stuck in the left pathway. Add some invisible string to it and the left wall to prevent this.
+ Puzzle room.
- Puzzle room: Hard to see the button on the right wall, mag switch is visible when it pops out.
- Piston fire hazard is too hard to see. I found out the hard way.
- Broken single rocket on the three metal piston blocks path.
- Gas blind spot in the bottom of "patience" room.
- Can fall under mini "bunker" style wheel. Annoying to get out if you fall under.
- After the elevator, you can fall down a small hole to the left, which puts you back at the checkpoint before, and the elevator doesn't return. Either plug all potential deaths until checkpoint, or activate the next one with a sensor switch.
+ Nice explosive timer.
- Fix up corner editing on fire block at the start of the water.

Nice level. Even though this theme has been done to death, I still had fun.
Good work.

2010-10-30 04:28:00

Author:
midnight_heist

Posts: 2513

Thank you MH! My wife, 10 year & 4 year old can only handle so much play testing!! Excellent observations, finds and feedback. I fixed the pesky rocket and attempted to implement a string on the sponge but unfortunately im maxed out on the thermo. So maxed out, I couldnt even cover the side of the elevator with any new addition, I had to move a box over it. I also attempted to put a small LED over the fire hazard for extra visibility but that too was refused by the killer thermo. I was able to make the adjustments with the corner editor and couldnt believe I missed the sections you mentioned, nor can I believe you were able to see them through the action sequence! Great eye!

The only portion I missed on your review and was confused about was where you mentioned the blind spot of the gas..

Anyways, thank you for the help, it was fantastic feedback and much needed. And yes, the cave thing is a bit overused....just a teeny bit though.....just enough room for one more series

I also played your Ratchet and Clank level and will get a review up tomorrow - so keep watch!

John

2010-10-30 07:31:00

Author:
John82wa

Posts: 221

No problem.

Yeah, The thermo is a harsh mistress. I always leave a few notches before release, that way you can easily fix any problems that might pop up.

Gas blind spot:
After the sign that says "Patience is a virtue", there are two wobbly platforms (with two lights above?). At the base of the platforms, there is a gap in the gas (or an elevated safe part) slightly to the right of the centre.
If you have two gas blocks, you can combine them into one to save a little thermo. If it is one piece already, a simple corner edit will fix it up.

As for reviewing my level, it's not necessary, but always nice to get another opinion.

2010-10-30 09:01:00

Author:
midnight_heist

Posts: 2513

- there is a bug in the wheel you jump into's area if you fall out the wheel on the bottom if you ride the wheel theres some stone missing on the bottom that I got trapped in a few times. ( I apologize if that doesn't make sense )
+Great environment
+Amazing gameplay
+Great 1st level
:star::star::star::star::star: plus a <3

2010-10-30 14:19:00

Author:
Mod5.0

Posts: 1576

hi again i played your level. overal i think its great,the first thing i noticed was the atmosphere,and the little intro that instantly brings you in was nice,unfortunatley the second thing i noticed was the default floor,which is usually an instant turn off. the atmosphere and visuals are very goood tho,excellent use of all the layers and the music was fitting. i loved the part with the cogs,must of took a while to make right i always have trouble making 2 run smoothly together lol.i gave it 4 stars and i hearted it,ill be checking back now and again to see your new levels.
oh and another thing that first lift,i know your having trouble adding anything due to thermo but maybe have a little delay on it? to give time to jump off.

quick summary:

+atmosphere & music
+use of layers
+clever obstacles
+overall level design

-visible create mode floor

2010-10-30 19:54:00

Author:
gigglecrab

Posts: 232

I palyed your level. Its really impressive for a first time level. The enviroments or well and you did well with working on the cornering tool. Ifound it really difficult but still its great to have something really complex. There are some few areas that look a bit sloppy but not too much. There were too many holes that I would easily fall to and get my sack boy on fire but I'm guessing you ment to do that.

Positives: Game play, complexity, structure

Negatives: Repetative

4/5 stars F4F Inception 2 thanks

2010-10-30 21:07:00

Author:
Henred

Posts: 123

Thanks again for the much needed advice. And I certainly wont make the mistake on creating my level on the ground, it really took away the versatility in creating the level not to mention the pathetic look during game play.

Henred, the parts you mention that are sloppy, could you be more specific? I cant add or tweak too much except for the corner editing tool so I still might be able to clean it up a little. I will play your level sometime tomorrow if I have time, but I won't forget about the feedback!

Midnight_Heist, I actually did a full on Review for your level instead of feedback however I do have a suggestion for your next level that would add an incredible amount of feel and uniqueness not found (at least Ive yet to see it) on LBP.

Oh yeah, now it shows 4 stars out of 5 on the forum next to this thread, was that a review by the LBP Central team or just a relation into how many views or..????

2010-10-31 07:58:00

Author:
John82wa

Posts: 221

sometime people can rate your thread and try & make it the same amount of stars your level has.

2010-10-31 08:18:00

Author:
Sabre_

Posts: 653

Midnight_Heist, I actually did a full on Review for your level instead of feedback however I do have a suggestion for your next level that would add an incredible amount of feel and uniqueness not found (at least Ive yet to see it) on LBP.

Oh yeah, now it shows 4 stars out of 5 on the forum next to this thread, was that a review by the LBP Central team or just a relation into how many views or..????
Full on alright! It was awesome! :o Very impressive.
I'm all open for suggestions, either post in my sig link, or you can send me a pm if you want.

Regarding the stars, you can rate threads (at the top of the page), but not many people do, so it's not always accurate.
I only bother when I feel the current rating is unjustified.

2010-10-31 10:35:00

Author:
midnight_heist

Posts: 2513

I enjoyed this level, at times it really felt like a cave. Great obstacles. I'm not gonna lie, I got stuck a few times, but I like a challange! I felt small hints wouldn't have hurt in some places. A little too many point bubbles for my taste. I would avoid creating on the ground. I also could see the blue backgrount out the level which is definately a minus especially in a cave environment. Overall a good level! 4 stars and a heart. Well done.

2010-11-02 01:16:00

Author:
Brandamann

Posts: 9

Okay, I played it : D

First some pictures and my statement:

http://imagesload.net/img/Ein Foto_25.jpg
I never want to see the ground again! Never!
It ruins everything!

Then at this point:
http://imagesload.net/img/Ein Foto_24.jpg
the elevater was a bit tricky, it should stop when you are on the top.
Here is how to do it:
http://imagesload.net/img/Ein Foto_10.jpg

Then this part was just genius:
http://imagesload.net/img/Ein Foto_23.jpg

Here the music was terrible:
http://imagesload.net/img/Ein Foto_22.jpg

And at this point, I tried to collect the points but then i felt down into that hole:
http://imagesload.net/img/Ein Foto_17.jpg
I had to kill myself. And gues where was the Checkpoint?
http://imagesload.net/img/Ein Foto_19.jpg
Down, but the elevater was up. So I had to restart.

That I saw before:
http://imagesload.net/img/Ein Foto_20.jpg
(But altough a great idea)

Aaand here the explosiontimer was great, but the lights are still there:
http://imagesload.net/img/Ein Foto_16.jpg
Here is how to solve the problem:
http://imagesload.net/img/Ein Foto_11.jpg
Make the ground in two pieces, on 2 layers. Insteed 1 piece on 2 layers.

Ok, now a little text without pictures:
The level were genius! Realy. I loved the athmo and the puzzles. The length was exactly right. But more sound effects would be nice. Although I really really wish my first level would be so good as yours.

I gave it :star::star::star::star:
+ <3

(I hope it's allowed to use so much pictures...)

2010-11-02 02:05:00

Author:
Unknown User

Thank you so much for the feedback and the time to take pictures. I was unsure if there was too many point bubbles or not, perhaps I will eliminate a few. Im very disappointed to hear that the cogs were done before... the idea spawned from the original Tomb Raider back in the day (yes, the first and the best). I would love to get those lights on the explosive to disappear but I simply can not add anything to this level, im stuck moving or deleting something to enhance it.

I however did a little touch up through out the whole level and some material changes on a few things for a cleaner look. Im going to have to improvise on the portion where you fell behind the mine carts. Your not the first to fall back there. I first had the mine carts glued to the floor, but if you fell down behind you had no choice but to restart. So I 'un-glued' them and you now have the ability to get your way out but it appears that may not be enough...

As for the floor....yeah, I must say shamefully that it was a rookies mistake and no not to start creating on the floor. If I had more thermo, I would certainly raise the whole thing up and create a rock floor. Not sure where I can make up the thermo. I attempted to be very organic with the rocks but of course that caused the thermo to raise far quicker than most.

Thanks again for the valuable feedback!! I love hearing the suggestions, sometimes you own mind gets closed off and focused on select points when your creating you often forget a thing or two...or three...

I also dont know if it would help or even if its being noticed. I did the layer glitch for the background when your jumping from the two platforms to the lights. If its not noticed and eats up a ton of thermo, im sure I can eliminate it?

2010-11-02 02:44:00

Author:
John82wa

Posts: 221

i didnt notice the 3d layers. you would probably be ok to take them out

2010-11-02 03:18:00

Author:
Brandamann

Posts: 9

I enjoyed this level and you can actually see how you grew as acreator through out the level. If this really is your first level, then clearly you will be a strong creator. Here are my positive and negative points that I noticed.

Positive:
+liked the modified bomb
+lava flowing on the wall
+domino stairs
+lighting effects
+cog/ bridge thing was cool

Negatives:
-Hide that canvas floor! (with that maxed thermo...maybe adjust camera to view upwards instead of downwards. Totally miss the canvas visually?)
-in the beginning a switch activates a elevator without showing what happend (use magic mouth cut scene)
-sackboy can fall through bridge (not sure if that was supposed to happen)
-cog/bridge thing had difficult to see and grab switches
-maybe hide the grab sensors(unless you wanted us to see them)

----Over all very good level-----:star::star::star::star:

2010-11-04 00:07:00

Author:
sascha_winter

Posts: 163

I enjoyed playing ur level, it has a nice "journey" feel to it

Pros:
- The change of music added a nice steady build up, going from a "lonely lost" feel to a more confident "i may actually be able to make it out" feel.
- Points system was fun and various, (the orange sponge, timed bomb, waiting part)
- The Water was a pleasant surprise to the level, it was a nice little break from the "dry stone" feel.
- Ur development as a creator was noticed as the level went on

Cons:
- The visible floor at the start was kinda off putting
- Some of the logic is visible "behind the scenes"
- The final elevator area felt a little sparse with the large straight looking thin layers, it looked a little cardboard-ish.

Overall i enjoyed playing through ur level and had fun, i gave it a <3 due to feeling inspired as i witnessed the growth of the level as i was playing through it. nice job

Return feedback is welcome on my level "The Fun Gun Run" (link is in my signature)

2010-11-04 02:04:00

Author:
Brixx101

Posts: 277

Very nice visual level. It did have some stiff points as people have already pointed out. My biggest dislike is being able to see the floor in the beginning. You said your maxed on thermo. Try changing most if not all of your grab materials to the same type. the less different materials you use on the level the less thermo it takes up. With any luck that will give you enough thermo to make a few suggested alterations.

The detail and effort especially for a 1st level is enough to warrant a :star::star::star::star::star: from me.
I look forward to seeing more of your work!

2010-11-04 02:20:00

Author:
Unknown User

Thank you Sascha, Brixx and Dark-Match! It seems its official, no-one likes that floor!!

I tried to lift the entire level off the floor, but when I highlight the level it freezes the PS3. I will need to try and go through like you mentioned Dark-Match and change more of the materials to the same thing. As for showing what the first switch does in the level is something I didnt think about for some reason because of the close proximity, but will add it nonetheless. Brixx, your right at the end looking cardboardish. I would like to clean it up back there.

Somehow I had the layer glitch but now its gone so I need to find a community level and get it back so I can free up more room (where the two platforms are).

You guys have all been very helpful, thank you!!! Hopefully part 2 can incorporate all your suggestions and then some. I never realized how difficult in can be to get a 5 star level and more than that, just the imagination, patience and execution it takes to get there.....some day

UPDATE: Removed the layer glitch to allow more room for tweaks. I also changed many of the materials to the same to get a little bit more thermo (thank you Dark Match) Added the cameras like Sascha suggested (thank you!) and it has finally eliminated the visible floor!! Also cleaned up the final portion where you ride the final elevator where it was all splashed together. Has much more detail now (Thank you Brixx). Also fixed where players were falling behind the mine carts. It is no longer possible (Thank You Sabre). Also added the magic mouth as a cut-scene on the first switch of the level. Also added more sound effects such as water dripping at the beginning of the cave (thank you DaBernd)

2010-11-04 06:44:00

Author:
John82wa

Posts: 221

This level was very impressive! The atmosphere was great, and it was really fun too! You did really well for your first level, so I'll try to do well for my first feedback.

+This level looks great, the whole atmosphere is beautiful!
- You may want to consider using something like fire instead of spikes at the bottom of that first pit you swing across. I think it would fit your level better, but that's just a suggestion.
+I like the puzzle room.
+I like your use of objects like the crates, instead of a material.
+The music always changes to fit the scenario.
+The boarded up points and timed explosive is exactly the type of little additions every level should have.
-At the end of the mine cart part the low and flat cave wall above is misleading. It looks like you're supposed to get up there, but this may be intended.
+You changed materials for different scenarios.
+The level was nicely lit.

Sorry I couldn't come up with more suggestions, and thanks for the feedback.

2010-11-06 00:29:00

Author:
Porkchops

Posts: 7

The glass in front I believe changes the lava so its not visible. Perhaps I need to address the glass and take it off, after all it would eliminate the rope being blue. Thanks for the suggestion because I think your right, it would match the level a tad better!

2010-11-06 00:35:00

Author:
John82wa

Posts: 221

I'm having trouble finding it, is it possibly spelled different than it is here?

2010-11-06 00:52:00

Author:
Jayhawk_er

Posts: 403

There are so many named similarly, I was debating on doing a title change to give it a bit more separation. You just search my PSN: John82wa and it should come up just fine.

2010-11-06 01:40:00

Author:
John82wa

Posts: 221

Ok I'll try again when I have the time, it looks pretty good by the screenshots!

EDIT: Ok I played it! It was pretty awesome! I liked the industrial cave kind of feel throughout the level with lots of little details throughout, that made playing it very interesting. Some pros and cons, some camera angles were kind of harsh at times, but still maneuverable enough to be fun. I also had trouble seeing the button on the ceiling that you used the winch and the sponge to bounce up and hit. Which by the way, was a really cool idea. Overall, I gave it 5 stars, a job well done!

2010-11-06 18:58:00

Author:
Jayhawk_er

Posts: 403

I liked the industrial cave kind of feel throughout the level with lots of little details throughout, that made playing it very interesting.

Thats it! I need a new title for the level as its too watered down and just flat out generic. How about 'Industrial Caverns'??

Im worried though, if I change the name of the level am I able to get the title of the thread changed to match the levels name change?

Thanks

EDIT: New name change! Thanks to Jayhawk_er for the idea and Midnight_Heist for the know how!! Kudos and many thanks...again

2010-11-10 00:51:00

Author:
John82wa

Posts: 221

I'll check this out on the weekend

2010-11-10 19:45:00

Author:
Blanchrocker

Posts: 142

I'll definately be playin this l8r...

2010-11-10 20:24:00

Author:
Unknown User

Yooo bud played your level. Gave it 4 stars. It was really well put together. But since you want some real feedback here we go..for starters, i could see some dark matter around that didnt quite fit into the visual theme you had goin.Another thing is the lift where you grab the tiny sponge to go up. instead of havin a grab switch..you should make it a require all motion switch cuz that thing was a lil sketchy to get out of when i got to the top...and the part with the cogs...i was able to just jump straight across without activating any of the three switches. Oh yeah and the escalator you used from the story mode...the one from the canyons...change the material on that so its not as noticable. Well thats all I could really say...great otherwise. Uhm as far as you givin ME feedback....ill just say give my levels a go...throw some general suggestions or wtvr..i havnt made any F4F levels in a while. Just tryin to make some friends and give feedback is all. Again good effort and it was a good play.

2010-11-11 02:15:00

Author:
Unknown User

Thanks for the feedback, always appreciated. Not sure where you saw the dark matter, so if you could be more specific that would be very helpful. As for the elevator, I was thinking of placing a sticker above specifying to 'tap R1'. Its all you need to do and it will do the rest. As for the jump where the cogs are.....yeah, your not suppose to be able to make that

Its a shame you did, because pulling the switches gives quite a bit more feel to whats going on. Not only that, I knew I should of changed up the logic so a player MUST have all three cogs engaged to proceed. First level rookie mistake

As for the escalator, every piece of it has been changed to a new material from the rocks that it sits on and the wood material. I unfortanetly used up the last bit of Thermo changing a few much needed items. Otherwise I would have made it look much more organic.

Thanks again for the help!

2010-11-11 02:28:00

Author:
John82wa

Posts: 221

Sorry im a bit late getting back to you, i played your level yesterday and i have to say, for a first level, that was very good, well done. A few suggestions, perhaps you could vary the light settings for some of the rooms, and perhaps adjust the tracking on some of the cameras, as they jumped from one to the other quite fast, but they no way affected the gameplay

Overall, i gave your level :star::star::star::star: and a <3, well done

2010-11-13 19:52:00

Author:
Blanchrocker

Posts: 142

It's kind of funny, this level is rather similar in concept to my first level. Anyway, the review. I liked the elevators, the gameplay, and the overall aesthetic. Some things you could improve on:

-The music is all over the place. You start off with Whispers in the Wind, an eerie, foreboding piece. Then it switches to something out of the Metropolis, then to Pirates of the Carribean, then to Get it Together at the end, which was probably the strangest. Maybe use the Wilderness and Wedding Interactive themes in there, and have the PotC music start only once you go underwater.

-The cyan lights were also strange. I kind of think they only looked good in the blue lighting area, and nowhere else. You could change the color to match the lighting of the area it's in.

-I think you could use a few more sound effects (and the radio static felt kind of out-of-place to me).

-Towards the beginning you could see the ground at a few points. I'd reccomend either raising the bottom somehow or using a background, maybe the monster kit cave if you have it.

-Also in the beginning, I thought the spot with the red glass over it looked out of place, especially since nothing like that shows up again.

-I think you could use more contrast with the lighting, darkening the level and increasing the lights' brightness.

-The carts you get the bubbles from are the Mm carts. You should modify your own cart so they don't look out of place.

-I thought the electric materials looked a bit odd.

-Maybe instead of grabbing the elevator floors, have a small grabbable panel on the side.

Sorry if this review comes off as overly negative, I did like the level. 4 stars.

2010-11-17 00:49:00

Author:
Darth

Posts: 186

Ouch, that burns!! Okay, thats what F4F is all about eh? I understand some portions of what you mentioned but its a difficult one as so many people have expressed how much they like the music in the level and how it changes with what is happening as well as the lighting and electrical wires. The static is also used for the sound of electricity and thats where that sound comes in. I will try and take what you have mentioned and work with it as much as I can attempting to stay with the general idea. Thanks for the play and the thorough feedback, I truly appreciate it!

2010-11-17 02:00:00

Author:
John82wa

Posts: 221

Ok so i played your lvl and i cant give good feedback but the whole level are great. I have seen some bad looking things and the first elevator (maybe add some logic to it

)

2010-11-18 16:25:00

Author:
Unknown User

Ok so i played your lvl and i cant give good feedback but the whole level are great. I have seen some bad looking things and the first elevator (maybe add some logic to it

)

Not quite sure what you mean? Logic to the elevator...its a, well, an elevator, you tap R1 and it closes doors and goes up and then doors open, there's no extra 'logic' needed (it's also the same as the second elevator only the length traveled is different). You also mention bad looking things, could you be specific?

UPDATE: I have made some more changes from some of the much needed feedback. The material used for the electrical power cords now have a black sticker covering the wood to emphasize its a power cord. Im still trying to play with the music a bit, but im really trying to keep with the change of music at the locations to give the player that feel of entering something new and that is something that is purely psychological and works for the most part. Its just finding the right music...

Lighting was also changed up a bit as well as some global lighting changes. I adjusted the camera's as much as I could to hide the floor but it was too jerky so I changed the base of the floor and its hidden quite well now and its only a split second you can see it. Much more cosmetic updates as well.

Just wanted to show what kind of updates theres been visually, here is some comparisons...
http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4088/5188726421_ed8561eb06.jpg (http://www.flickr.com/photos/55176054@N05/5188726421/) BEFORE
[/url] (http://www.flickr.com/photos/55176054@N05/5188726421/)http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1041/5189331946_81694e6c91.jpg (http://www.flickr.com/photos/55176054@N05/5189331946/) AFTER, Look, no more floor!!
(http://www.flickr.com/photos/55176054@N05/5189331946/)

http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1042/5188726419_3ba0003537.jpg (http://www.flickr.com/photos/55176054@N05/5188726419/) BEFORE
(http://www.flickr.com/photos/55176054@N05/5188726419/)http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1003/5189329304_edb03e3313.jpg (http://www.flickr.com/photos/55176054@N05/5189329304/) AFTER
(http://www.flickr.com/photos/55176054@N05/5189329304/)

http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1034/5188726415_c13e23dfa4.jpg (http://www.flickr.com/photos/55176054@N05/5188726415/) BEFORE
(http://www.flickr.com/photos/55176054@N05/5188726415/)http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4090/5188729767_77c75a4fbb.jpg (http://www.flickr.com/photos/55176054@N05/5188729767/) AFTER
(http://www.flickr.com/photos/55176054@N05/5188729767/)

http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4132/5188726413_c13e23dfa4.jpg (http://www.flickr.com/photos/55176054@N05/5188726413/) BEFORE
(http://www.flickr.com/photos/55176054@N05/5188726413/)http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1272/5188729757_52fb3a40cb.jpg (http://www.flickr.com/photos/55176054@N05/5188729757/) AFTER
(http://www.flickr.com/photos/55176054@N05/5188729757/)

http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4125/5188726409_ba317a7d55.jpg (http://www.flickr.com/photos/55176054@N05/5188726409/) BEFORE
(http://www.flickr.com/photos/55176054@N05/5188726409/)http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4125/5189329302_8c592756f0.jpg (http://www.flickr.com/photos/55176054@N05/5189329302/) AFTER
(http://www.flickr.com/photos/55176054@N05/5189329302/)

http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1004/5188726411_e84862f3a8.jpg (http://www.flickr.com/photos/55176054@N05/5188726411/) BEFORE
(http://www.flickr.com/photos/55176054@N05/5188726411/)http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1296/5189329312_349cc0cb90.jpg (http://www.flickr.com/photos/55176054@N05/5189329312/) AFTER
[url=http://www.flickr.com/people/55176054@N05/] (http://www.flickr.com/photos/55176054@N05/5189329312/)

There ya go, hope you like the changes as much as I do. Theres plenty more in addition to whats shown, but those are perhaps the biggest changes visually. There pretty good examples of bringing in the atmosphere (reminds me of the LBPCentral tutorials on atmosphere) and hopefully a more believable environment. Thanks!

2010-11-18 17:06:00

Author:
John82wa

Posts: 221

Likes:
-Puzzle Room place
-Looked like a good miners cave
-I liked the boxes sticker detail
-Platforming was good

Improvements:
-Not much good level, had decent amount of detail
-I wasn't a fan of the 4 music changes you had, kind of threw the mood at times

Overall was good level :star::star::star::star:

2010-11-19 22:58:00

Author:
bmoney2310

Posts: 187

Very nice platformer. The atmosphere was very good and the music had a good flow to it. I loved how you used the glass at the beginning to make the one wall look slimy. I did have a couple suggestions though. At the beginning there was this weird festering sound and I don't understand the point of it and personally that sound grosses me out (but that's personal lol). Also the no entry-gate at the beginning was in need of a black or brown sticker. I had a problem with your spinning wheel because the only thing you really need to grab is the first piece of material and hang there until it's on the other side thus rendering the fire useless. A few of the switches are really hard to see so I might suggest a bit more lightning. Lastly the water being bright blue KILLS the mines underground feel, the only place with water like that is the tropics, I would choose red, or brown to match your levels colour theme. With those couple changes your level is definitely cool page material.

:star::star::star::star:<3

Cheers,
Jowife1993

2010-11-19 23:09:00

Author:
jowife1993

Posts: 80

Hey, John. I'm here to do your f4f.

I like how the way your level is set up. I also like that puzzle you do by swinging and hitting the button.

You could use some more sound effects here and there. A lot of cool gameplay elements here. You could also use a checkpoint at the top of the lift, I fell twice because it wasn't auto switching layers. The second time I fell into the fire and had to start all the way at the bottom. Oh ok, there is a checkpoint up here. Maybe add a sensor switch set on 180 attached to the checkpoint so players don't have to do everything over again.

I love the part where you use the levers to bring in the cogs. It must've taken you a long time to set that up. Afterwards, theres an elevator. However, you can see the dark matter at the bottom of it. It doesn't really belong in the level. Perhaps adjust the camera angle so it doesn't show or just change the dark matter material.

Wow, I didn't expect there to be an underwater scene. Cool stuff!

You should inform the players not to jump out of the elevator once they grab it because it keeps going (although I didn't wait until it hit the bottom, only until it left my view).

Overall, I enjoyed the level. There were some good gameplay elements and I appreciate the improvements on the visuals from seeing the comparison screenshots. The story is basic and I hope you go more in depth with it in the sequel.

2010-11-20 03:08:00

Author:
MrTran

Posts: 216

Hey John, just finished your level and have some feedback to offer.

+the atmosphere went well with the theme of your level
+nice design on puzzle part with the cogs(very original)
+plenty of score bubbles to reward when completing tasks and puzzles
+water scene was unexpected but a pleasant surprise

now for some of the negatives.
-the scene where you first had to jump off the first elevator caused me to land in the back several times and had to adjust where to jump to land forward(hope you know what I mean)
-the part where you grab onto the sponge and slide down was a problem if you fell into the fire pits below and died. when I respawned, there was no sponge contrapment. Had to restart level
-there were plenty of camera shakiness throughout your level when moving in different scenes.(if intentional then disregard)

Recommendations:
1) I would definitely add an emitter with the sponge contrapment captured and have a sensor surrounding your chekpoint connected so it will respawn in case you die before reaching the bottom
2) Adjust the height of the back ledge at the top of the first elevator so when you jump off, you would land on the front layer.
3) Move your camera adjustment of the tracker closer to the middle so it would look smoother when leaving to another scene(again, if this was intentional, then disregard)

Overall game play was fun enuff to want me to keep going. Definitely liked the scenery of your level to add to and complement the atmosphere. I gave you :star::star::star::star: and <3.

Great effort in your creations

2010-11-20 04:13:00

Author:
tripple_sss

Posts: 250

Pretty good level

but I feel the level was built better during the middle part of the level. Its when you started using wooden planks as decorative supports. I think this look would look better thoughout the whole level, imo. Also as Triple_SSS has mentioned, some of your cameras are strong and they jerk when jumping/running. Also near your elevators you have some switches visible (one is a global lighting switch and another is a sensor switch). I would also suggest using more decorations like the bolts. Very good level though. Liked the story and your dialogue. Can't wait to see what you make next. Keep creating

4stars + <3

2010-11-23 14:48:00

Author:
L1GhTmArE

Posts: 519

I thought the platforming in this level was a lot of fun and there were some interesting gameplay mechanics in here too. The part where you put the gears all into place didn't make sense to me. Was that suppose to be a puzzle? Because if that is the case it wasn't very hard, as all I had to do was pull three switches in no particular order to finish. There was nothing puzzling about it. I find that sort of gameplay mechanic to be boring and pointless as it's not challenging platforming-wise and it's not mentally challenging either. There needs to be one or the other for the gameplay mechanic to feel fun. I would've rather have just walked through a visually outstanding room or made a few jumps than simply pull three switches without any thought. I think the visuals improved throughout the level and it looked better the further I went. In the beginning I saw quite a few rock edges that were at 90 degrees and it didn't look very organic. I didn't like all the music changes, though, as it kept on changing the mood of the level for me when it wasn't at all necessary. It's not like the gameplay or atmosphere was changing so I don't think the music should've been changing either. Although I didn't find the level to be particularly outstanding, I thought you did a good job creating a fun platforming experience.

2010-11-29 05:06:00

Author:
zynax555

Posts: 170

UPDATE: Thank you all for the suggestions! With the new version, I have eliminated 2 of the music soundtracks. I have also adjusted the cameras again to be less jerky but it still hides the pesky floor. Added more decorations and sounds. Added more dialogue. Changed the water color to match the cave like feel. Also changed out the glass at the beginning with chain link fence fitting with the rest of the level.

I think im going to hang this one up in the finished closet for now (unless other suggestions pop up). Im trying to get part 2 out that will feature 'real' puzzles that actually entail thinking

This was my very first level in LBP and have learned an incredible amount from everyones feedback and it will certainly help avoid obvious mistakes/dislikes when I create number two. Thank you for everyone who played my level!! <3

2010-12-01 22:57:00

Author:
John82wa

Posts: 221

Thanks you so much for play my level,I will play your level later.

2010-12-17 10:53:00

Author:
Unknown User

Hello,I just played your level,its aesome,and have a great atmosphere,it deserved more plays,I was give it 5 Stars,great work dude

2010-12-17 11:28:00

Author:
Unknown User

hello

thanks for feedback on my lvl.
now to your lvl:
the positive things:
-well made riddles
-good optic
-nice diffyculty (not to easy not to hard)
-nice obstacles, good gameplay

negative:
-sometimes you couldnt see where the switches(or something else) were, because there were in a dark corner

so a fantastic lvl : :star::star::star::star::star: and a<3

2010-12-18 10:08:00

Author:
frexy18

Posts: 62

1)
Buddy, not sure if it was just bad luck, but on the room in your third picture, when i hit the button on the ceiling, the platform with the switch on it broke from the strings and feel upside down forcing me to restart the level o.O

2)
Whats up with the tea bags inside a mine?!?! LOL!

3)
This is a personal suggestion. but i'ld brighten up the lighting just a tad, sometimes i had trouble figuring out where to go because i couldn't make out someplace i had to jump on or something.

Overall a pretty cool lever, liked the atmosphere alot, shows that you spent alot of time on this as it's very well designed, amazed you got all that in there without bursting the thermometer or resulting in laggy gameplay.

4 Stars/Hearted (Athor too!).

2010-12-20 23:11:00

Author:
Unknown User

Buddy, not sure if it was just bad luck, but on the room in your third picture, when i hit the button on the ceiling, the platform with the switch on it broke from the strings and feel upside down forcing me to restart the level o.O

It has happened before, but I was unable to duplicate it so I never made any changes.

Whats up with the tea bags inside a mine?!?! LOL!

Thought someone could use a tea break, lol. No, thats why I oversized them. If you were not a creator, you would hardly know thats what they were. Besides, that would be some pretty big tea bags

This is a personal suggestion. but i'ld brighten up the lighting just a tad, sometimes i had trouble figuring out where to go because i couldn't make out someplace i had to jump on or something.

I agree, but I have pretty much dumbed down the level already as it sits. I was trying to encourage some exploration and trial & error.

Overall a pretty cool lever, liked the atmosphere alot, shows that you spent alot of time on this as it's very well designed, amazed you got all that in there without bursting the thermometer or resulting in laggy gameplay.

4 Stars/Hearted (Athor too!).

Thank you very much for the play! I had some help from previous feedback that helped me reduce the thermo and understand the workings of it. It's rather amazing because there is so much that I could still do to reduce the thermo even more, but that would entail of breaking the level down and reconstructing it and I don't have the patience for it. Thanks again

2010-12-21 06:13:00

Author:
John82wa

Posts: 221

Sorry to get your feedback so late, I dont have much time to look at other peoples levels considering I spend so much time on making levels

Anyway when I entered the level, I thought it was going to be a cave/mechanical kind of level, which I really hate now because I just spend so much time making one myself and then somehow it got corrupted

But you surprised me a lot with the effort you put in which definetly showed in the levels final product, great platforming and puzzles and thats what I look most for in a level. I found a few holes in the level here and there but they werent to obvious. Great work

Platforming 8/10

Puzzles 9/10

Looks 8/10

Great level, :star::star::star::star::star: and a <3. This is what I should have rated it but I rushed the rating section in my pod so I might have put four stars, sorry.

Keep those awesome levels coming

2010-12-21 10:54:00

Author:
nillrecuring

Posts: 104

I finally played your level! You did a very good job, nothing to say.
I really liked the style of the cave, and the use of soundtracks. Here's a list of Pros and Cons, showing the things I liked more, or the one I disliked!
PROS
-The cave was well made, nice atmosphere
-The use of the soundtracks, expect the PotC one. They really help making the "lost cave" feeling.
-Nice length, not too short, and neither too long.
-I liked the second part too, where you find the skull. Very touching!

CONS
-Too many visible rockets, like in the beginning: I liked the smoke effect, but hide the rockets.
-I haven't liked some grabbable materials, such as the wheel near the bridge. Try to make it more suitable in a cave.
-In the room where you activate the wheel near the bridge, I found difficult to go down again.

Overall, very good level. :star: :star: :star: :star:

2010-12-24 16:28:00

Author:
Dante95

Posts: 504

Very fun level, i really liked the design but sometimes the level was too dark to see the buttons or switches but that's a minor problem.

Overall i think it's a pretty good level!

2011-07-29 22:54:00

Author:
Unknown User

Thank you for playing my level and giving feedback. I just played your level recently and am returning feedback.

Great level here. Enjoyed it very much. Difficulty was fair enough not to frustrate me. Overall design was pretty good. I knew I was in a mine/cave. It was dark in some areas, but it is supposed to be in a mine. I did not find any gameplay issues or bugs with this level. Overall, a solid level which I enjoyed very much.

Thank you for creating and sharing this level.

2011-08-03 00:25:00

Author:
Garak101

Posts: 101

wow first of all thank you for your great feedback gonna add your lvl to the Q then ill return with feedback when i got some of it for you=) Cheers

2011-08-13 12:10:00

Author:
tjaldex225

Posts: 69

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