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The Burning Forest

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The Burning ForestLaharlKun
http://i64.photobucket.com/albums/h190/Laharl111/Photo3-1.jpgYou wake up with no memory of what happened. All you know is, the plane you were on crashed. Everything else is a blur. You find yourself in the middle of a tree. As you explore, you find that the forest is on fire. The king has requested your assistance in putting the fire out. But as you'll see, this forest holds more than just animals...

This level is reliant upon story. Please read all the text to get the full experience out of the level. Thanks for playing!
http://i64.photobucket.com/albums/h190/Laharl111/Photo4-1.jpg
http://i64.photobucket.com/albums/h190/Laharl111/Photo2-1.jpg
http://i64.photobucket.com/albums/h190/Laharl111/Photo1-1.jpg

Special thanks goes out to Yarudark, deeTOtheTEE, Morgana25, comphermc, goldenclaw13, Vex_Dopple, and anyone else who helped me with this project through verbal encouragement, or direct help. You know who you are

Edit: Please be aware that University is approaching, and I will not have internet until this weekend, and even then, I may be too busy to F4F. Be assured that I WILL get to your levels It just will take me a little longer. Thanks for your understanding!		2010-08-17 01:43:00

Author:
Laharl
Posts: 152

Right then, I'll play and comment as I go.

Well, it started off with a bang! (Or should I say a gasp?) Nice. Also, just starting, I must say it's a good looking level.

The sound effects for grabbing the sponges = made me smile. I found it pretty difficult to get up enough momentum to swing up, though. Usually I just ran and jumped on top, which is also a little hard. One thing you could try is use motors instead of just straight-up bolts. They could run whenever you grab. On the other hand, if you keep it the way it is, maybe put them a little closer together? (Part of it was I was ridiculously determined to get to the secret area and found it impossible).

I'm liking the story. I did get confused as to who was talking though. Put the mouths for the Sackboy over where he should be standing... that way it will show the speech bubble coming from him. That will clarify who is who when they're talking.

LOVE the other secret passage!!! Though there's a point bubble that fell off before I got there... so I couldn't get it.

I must say, this is some beautiful platforming with nice sticker/decoration work.

I love climbing the vines, though that green light eventually made it so I couldn't see what I was doing. Maybe tone it down a bit or go with normal rather than foggy. And it's not clear afterwards that I should go to the right (I tried to keep climbing for a few minutes).

I think the birds could use some edgework. Also, since they're birds, maybe hide the strings? It's up to you. One comment though: when I got across, I tried to jump on the root, but had to run to the left to do so. I burned my butt off and died. So maybe if the distance between the branch and the fire was bigger, it'd be a little easier.

Also, this cave is awesome. Enough said. (Though what were the traps he was talking about? Did I miss them?) Maybe some decorations on the smashy-thing would be nice, too.

Nice water area, looks great! Only thing so far here is the camera angle by the giant tri-circle decoration almost refuses to let me go up. Maybe if player tracking was a bit more on.

Oh, and your water moving up and down is quite noticeable. Maybe be more sneaky about it. I'm fairly certain I could've gone back and jumped into the lake without the water, and then I'd have gotten stuck.

And man, good story! It left me feeling retrospective.

I gave it :star::star::star::star::star: and a <3. Nice work!

Thanks for going through both my levels!		2010-08-19 00:02:00

Author:
Ryhas
Posts: 179

Right then, I'll play and comment as I go.

Well, it started off with a bang! (Or should I say a gasp?) Nice. Also, just starting, I must say it's a good looking level.

The sound effects for grabbing the sponges = made me smile. I found it pretty difficult to get up enough momentum to swing up, though. Usually I just ran and jumped on top, which is also a little hard. One thing you could try is use motors instead of just straight-up bolts. They could run whenever you grab. On the other hand, if you keep it the way it is, maybe put them a little closer together? (Part of it was I was ridiculously determined to get to the secret area and found it impossible).

I'm liking the story. I did get confused as to who was talking though. Put the mouths for the Sackboy over where he should be standing... that way it will show the speech bubble coming from him. That will clarify who is who when they're talking.

LOVE the other secret passage!!! Though there's a point bubble that fell off before I got there... so I couldn't get it.

I must say, this is some beautiful platforming with nice sticker/decoration work.

I love climbing the vines, though that green light eventually made it so I couldn't see what I was doing. Maybe tone it down a bit or go with normal rather than foggy. And it's not clear afterwards that I should go to the right (I tried to keep climbing for a few minutes).

I think the birds could use some edgework. Also, since they're birds, maybe hide the strings? It's up to you. One comment though: when I got across, I tried to jump on the root, but had to run to the left to do so. I burned my butt off and died. So maybe if the distance between the branch and the fire was bigger, it'd be a little easier.

Also, this cave is awesome. Enough said. (Though what were the traps he was talking about? Did I miss them?) Maybe some decorations on the smashy-thing would be nice, too.

Nice water area, looks great! Only thing so far here is the camera angle by the giant tri-circle decoration almost refuses to let me go up. Maybe if player tracking was a bit more on.

Oh, and your water moving up and down is quite noticeable. Maybe be more sneaky about it. I'm fairly certain I could've gone back and jumped into the lake without the water, and then I'd have gotten stuck.

And man, good story! It left me feeling retrospective.

I gave it :star::star::star::star::star: and a <3. Nice work!

Thanks for going through both my levels!

OH MY GOD SOMEONE POSTED D: *cries* Ahem...I'm cool, I'm cool....

Thank you so much for the in depth review!

I see what you mean about the sponges. Maybe its only because I played it almost non-stop, but I had no trouble with that part. However, I'll put them closer together :3

Aw crap THATS what I forgot to do! I was going to move the magic mouths D: Thanks for reminding me. Sorry about that ^^ I had just found a way to make a scene, and forgot to move the mouths :/

I'm not quite sure what you mean with the root, but I assume you mean the part after the birds?

Thanks! I worked very hard on the cave. It's the part I'm the most proud of. And by traps, I meant the spike pits and the falling smashy block thing. (Lovely names no?)

Ah, yeah. I wondered about that angle.

This is my first level using water, so I'm still not good at using water effectively^^ I am not sure how I could make it sneakier though. Do you have any suggestions? Also, I must have misplaced the water switch. I think I'll just make a blockade activate the same time the water switch activates.

Thanks! I'm very happy you enjoyed the story! I focused heavily on the story, as I love writing them It wasn't a cute, simple stage like you thought it was gonna be, huh?		2010-08-19 00:35:00

Author:
Laharl
Posts: 152

I just played your level.

At first, it did feel like I was in a burning forest, but that feeling starts to wear off as you move forward, because there are still some living trees with their leaves and everything. I suppose this is intentional since it's a "burning" forest, which means it's not been entirely burnt down yet but maybe I would have drawn a fire stripe or two on the background trees, or used a sticker here and there, just to build up the atmosphere. I liked the lighting in the cave and the underwater part, although I found those electric wheels kind of annoying, it's hard to find the moment to let go and swim up. Other than that, the obstacles in the rest of the level were fine and entertaining.

There were some sounds when you grabbed the first set of sponges, but after that I barely noticed any other sounds. I would use some more.

Secret and hidden points are always appreciated, they make you feel proud of finding them

As for the characters, they really could use some work, especially the birds. But I'm not particularly good at that anyway, so I won't complain.

There's a piece of dark matter showing near the checkpoint when you encounter the four birds. I think it's holding the tree in the background. It would be better if you hid it. And the elastic holding the last bird as well.

I gave it :star::star::star::star::star: for the little story even though I don't really care about the stories in levels, but I thought this one was cute and kind of heartwarming

I'd appreciate some feedback on my level (https://lbpcentral.lbp-hub.com/index.php?t=33402-Evelyn).		2010-08-19 01:11:00

Author:
Flynn
Posts: 17

Thanks for pointing those out! Can't believe I missed that :o Character design isn't really my forte, but I am doing my best to improve! Backgrounds and stickering is also my weakpoint, but I'm glad to see they weren't as bad.

Glad my story made you feel that way ^^		2010-08-19 01:43:00

Author:
Laharl
Posts: 152

OH MY GOD SOMEONE POSTED D: *cries* Ahem...I'm cool, I'm cool....

Thank you so much for the in depth review!

I see what you mean about the sponges. Maybe its only because I played it almost non-stop, but I had no trouble with that part. However, I'll put them closer together :3

Aw crap THATS what I forgot to do! I was going to move the magic mouths D: Thanks for reminding me. Sorry about that ^^ I had just found a way to make a scene, and forgot to move the mouths :/

I'm not quite sure what you mean with the root, but I assume you mean the part after the birds?

Thanks! I worked very hard on the cave. It's the part I'm the most proud of. And by traps, I meant the spike pits and the falling smashy block thing. (Lovely names no?)

Ah, yeah. I wondered about that angle.

This is my first level using water, so I'm still not good at using water effectively^^ I am not sure how I could make it sneakier though. Do you have any suggestions? Also, I must have misplaced the water switch. I think I'll just make a blockade activate the same time the water switch activates.

Thanks! I'm very happy you enjoyed the story! I focused heavily on the story, as I love writing them It wasn't a cute, simple stage like you thought it was gonna be, huh?

Haha, yeah, I have no problems in some of my levels (read: Part II) where other people die constantly. I made it and have played it fifty times, and they've only done it once.

Yeah, the root after the birds is what I was talking about. It's no big deal, but I know people can be clumsy like me, so you might want to move it a tad.

I've not used water very much, but here's what I might do: start off with a blockade to make sure the player doesn't go back. Then, make a very subtle camera angle (one with moderate player tracking) that makes sure you can't see the water. Finally, lower the water. I don't know how you'd do it when you first find the lake, though, because it was basically me walking along and then "LOOK WATER APPEARS!!!"

Oh, and one more comment I forgot: the story at the end was good, but I was really confused about what to do at first. I stood around waiting to see what would happen, before wondering if I should walk or something. There's a couple ways you could fix this: make a "conversation" type thing, or you could attach a piston to a large wall that pushes you slowly along. Or anything else you could think of.

I'm a big fan of writing stories, too (working on a trilogy of levels besides the 14 parts of Commander Keen). I think yours might be the first level I played, though, where the Sackboy actually has a character arc. 		2010-08-19 16:38:00

Author:
Ryhas
Posts: 179

Let me start off by saying that I simply adore this level, :3
It was great seeing all your different re-imaginings of a forest and it's inhabitants.
From the tree itself, the birds, and fish, it was nicely put together.

The story was well done to go along with the level. I tend to try to imagine how a level would be without text
and I'm lead to believe that the level would be great (but not as appealing) without the story. In other words,
the platforming was nice and I enjoyed it.

In an attempt to break your level, I tried squishing the Waterga gem (Forgive me for the spelling, I'm going off the top of my head)
by the electrocute platforms. Unfortunately, it will get squished, and another one does not re-spawn :[

So I proceeded to restart the level. I noticed the second time around those secret point bubble locations you placed in the tree.You sly thing, you ;]

As a side note, it is possible to see your global water switch near a checkpoint, by the way. If you did want it that way, my apologies :]

The ending was well written and it was well worth playing the level through for
You may, or may not want to the put those end speech bubbles on a timer to make it easier for the players, but its great as is.

For making an intriguing, and fun level, I reward your level with a <3
Great job ^_^		2010-09-01 01:59:00

Author:
Raikuden
Posts: 4

Yeah, I agree with all of what Ryhas said.
4 stars from me. The gameplay could use a little work in places.
Worth a play just for the touching story. 		2010-09-01 10:57:00

Author:
midnight_heist
Posts: 2513

Your level was absolutley amazing! I rate it five stars! it is definately a course I will show my friends!

Great job with the visuals, details and especially the theme. Hope you make a sequel to this one soon! 		2010-09-01 14:46:00

Author:
Dazzle Eyes
Posts: 35


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