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Skye

Archive: 10 posts

This a dystopic short story I wrote for my english assignment. I did have the draft version up for a while but took it down, this is now the good copy. I'm kind of annoyed with it because it's too short. The word limit was 1500 which I've already gone over meaning some parts are a bit corny (like the cancer bit) and lacking depth. Once I finish most of my assignments I'm going to go back and finish it properly. Anyway enjoy

Skye

Running down the cold steel corridors Skye was darting and weaving between the residents. With each person she passed came the strong sound of air rushing past. Nearing closer to the end of the corridor her escapee vanished from sight. Still moving, with quick glance at her arm-screen, she knew where he was. Turning the corner with utmost speed her body slammed into the wall taking on the same curved shape and leaving a small mark on the otherwise clean white. Staring down the complete emptiness of the corridor she shouted,

?Mathew! Where are you??

She stood silently for a moment to hear a faint voice call back,

?Over here! C?mon, it's not hard to find me!?

Regaining her breath Skye made her way down the corridor watching her shadow spin around her feet as she passed the evenly spaced lights on the wall. She had never been this far away from the centre of the city before and was becoming worried. She couldn?t go back though, Mathew had stolen her room card again, so she moved on.

After making a few more turns the corridors began to change. The lighting seemed dull, the floors were covered in a layer of dust and she could smell things now that she never had before. The corridor stopped at a door. Skye stood in front of the door attempting to trigger the sensor to no avail, she pressed on the control panel to open the door but it was so old and stiff the motors couldn?t open it. A few good pushes later the door slid open bringing a cloud of dust with it. Stepping out of the dust and into the room revealed a single hanging light with only a small vent to break up the blankness of the four walls. Skye again looked down at her arm-screen. This time it was no use. All it displayed was a flickering of static, it was clear Mathew escaped her along with her room card.

Having come to a dead end Skye turned around to head home. She couldn?t stay anyway, she had walked right into a dead zone and gone offline. The Council would come looking for her if she didn?t get back online quickly but as she stepped towards the old door something must have triggered the sensor. The motors suddenly kicked into life and slammed the door tight shut. With no control panel in sight and her arm-screen offline it was impossible to leave.

Skye turned her focus back towards the small vent. One strong pull on the grate and she was able to squeeze inside. It was slow going moving through the tight vent eventually though she could hear a voice and the sound of metal on metal. Looking through the grate below her she could see a man in his early fifties, turning a large wrench with both hands. Desperate to get out of the vent system she yelled out to him,

?Hey! Hey! Can you get me down from here??

Slightly bewildered by the sight of a sixteen year old girl in the air vent system the man took a moment before responding,

?Ah Okay. Wait there a sec and we?ll get you outa there.?

The man dashed into an adjacent room to quickly return with a personal lift, the same type used by all the city?s maintenance crew to get to the city top, and positioned it under Skye. With screwdriver in hand he took off the grate and lifted Skye back onto the ground. He seemed to have a strangely familiar face on him.

?How on earth did ya get in there? Never mind, as long as you?re alright eh??

Skye didn?t understand what this strange man meant by ?how on earth? She couldn?t respond anyway. She was too awe struck by what lay in front of her. Rows upon rows of what she could only describe as giant, metallic straws. They would bend and go straight through solid walls. Out of curiosity Skye walked up to one of them and put her ear to it. It was cold on her skin and she could hear what sounded similar to water filling a cup. She proceeded to feel the others, some cold, and some normal until she let out a loud cry,

?What are these things??

It all made sense to the man now as he explained,

?Ah! You must be one of them city folk. You shouldn?t be down here, not that it matters, The Council don't come down these parts. Most of the time I?m down here by myself and since you?re down ?ere now I guess it won?t hurt to tell ya.?

?I've never seen anything like them before.?

?Yep. These ya see here are known as pipes. The Council keeps ?em out of sight of the city folk. You see where they?re leadin???

?Of course, they?re going up into the city top.?

?Yeah, that?s what The Council would like ya to think, all lies though. Truth is there is no city top, these here pipes go straight up to the surface.?

Skye didn?t know what this man was talking about, pipes, lies, the surface? The man already knew this though and before Skye could ask another question he was already taking out an old photograph from his oil stained overalls. The old man passed the picture to Skye. Taking it in both hands Skye looked at the picture in awe. It was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen. She could she there was a couple in the photo, this must have been the man?s wife, but where they were standing looked like a fantasy world. She saw what the old man explained to be trees, grass and the sun. This surface land made the usually comforting environment of the city now seem cold, plain and sterile.

?Why does everyone not live there?? Skye wondered.

?They used to, years ago. Some still do but they?re few and far between. And it's all ?cause of these ****ed pipes. Back on the surface we still had these pipes, pumping out gases day in day out. Everyone knew it was killing the surface but no-one wanted to change and those who did were forced down here anyway, to work in maintenance, just like me. Now The Council spend their trying to keep their guilty secret, secret.?

?But why don't they stop??

?Greed! It's all about greed with ?em. Sure they could change but their lives are too comfy they way they are and they ain?t gonna give it up anytime soon.?

For a place she had only just seen in a picture Skye found it strange that it could bring a tear to hear eye, maybe it was the remembrance of her own passed parents. She had to find out more and escape this lie of a life she?s been living. She wanted to be on the surface, with the plants and sunshine.

?I want to live there! I can?t stay here anymore, not knowing what?s out there.?

?It's a waste land out there, you?ll die. There?s no life on the surface, only the maintenance crew go out there to service the pipes.?

?You have the equipment just as they do, can?t we use that??

The old man couldn?t stand to see her like that. After all it was he who told her of the surface. He spent a moment looking at Skye quickly coming to the conclusion that he had to help her. His own life was going nowhere, down in the bottom of the city. He?d be down there until he dies. The old man quickly got to his feet and lifted Skye onto her own.

?We only have one shot at this.?

With those words Skye grabbed a suit and helmet and from the locker and strapped a full oxygen tank to her back. This was it. The old man grabbed his personal lift again and headed to the surface exit. He stepped on and picked Skye up in his arms. With a deep breath he punched in the code and opened the hatch. Skye quickly lifted herself up an out. Standing there she saw what the man had warned her of. Everything in sight was of a discoloured grey colour, there were hundreds of pipes pumping out toxic gases but she was quickly interrupted,

?There?s no time to waste! The Council will be onto us any second. Now follow me!?

The old man started running down an old road, Skye following closely behind. The sound of loud footsteps could be heard, coming closer and closer until they were drowned out by three consecutive blasts. The Council security had found her and wanted them dead. Skye kept running, she couldn?t go back now. More loud blasts was heard, this time they hit. Skye?s oxygen tank had been hit. With proper air she would die. The old man stopped and turned around facing the security. One quick movement and a series of fast blasts of light later, and the old man had killed them.

His attention turned to Skye gasping for breath. He quickly took off her helmet and threw away her oxygen tank. Replacing it with his own. With the little time and breath he had left he handed Skye the photo. He urged her to keep moving, there would be more security coming. Wiping the grime and soot of the air from her visor with one hand, clutching the photo tight with the other, she left the now lifeless body and continued running down the road.

After hours running the road at last stopped at a small wooden building on the coast. As Skye cautiously walked into the building she was greeted by pair of men. They were wearing a similar outfit to her own and looked genuinely amazed by the sight of her.

?What are you doing out here?? they asked her.

Still filled with adrenaline and fear all Skye could manage to say in a shaky tone was,

?I escaped.?

?Well you can?t stay here and your oxygen?s getting low. There?s a small community of us settled on a group of islands not too far out. We?re going back now if you want to come.?

?Ye? Yes please.?

Skye boarded the old vessel and waited to arrive at her new home. Standing at the front of the boat she slowly watched as the murky started to clear. From the back of the boat she heard two loud thuds. Turning around she saw the men had taken of their equipment, eager to feel the sun?s warmth on her skin she quickly followed suit. Coupled with the fresh air Skye felt as if this was ?right?. She looked at the photo again but this time she noticed the woman was holding something. She turned it over and it read,

With the cancer growing worse each day.
I can?t stand the hospital, with it cold sterile walls.
The fresh air seems almost revitalizing. ? Julie

Julie, Anthony, Skye. 11-5-2074

With eyes glistening and tears slowly rolling down her cheeks Skye looked up, not to the view of a cold steel roof or the discoloured grey fog she could earlier, but there now lay before her a vast expanse of bright, clear blue. This was Skye.

So any comments, thoughts, suggestions?
And yes I did rate it 5 stars

2010-08-10 11:08:00

Author:
SR20DETDOG

Posts: 2431

LOVED IT!!! reminds me of 'The City of Ember' and the Atherton series. You had only 2 mistakes btw.

2010-08-10 17:31:00

Author:
LWBear2

Posts: 332

LOVED IT!!! reminds me of 'The City of Ember' and the Atherton series. You had only 2 mistakes btw.

Thanks, I know of about 3 mistakes in the actual story line but people don't tend to think about it too much, so they don't realise

I just noticed 36views 1reply, lol. I wonder how many people saw the length and left

Also can you show me where these mistakes are?

2010-08-10 23:14:00

Author:
SR20DETDOG

Posts: 2431

You has to be a writer!!!! it was awsome, good work!

2010-08-10 23:17:00

Author:
Jonaolst

Posts: 935

You has to be a writer!!!! it was awsome, good work!

That's Jonaolst, that's the first time I've been told I have to be writer

I like writing stories but I usually just write ridiculous stories, I've never really thought of myself as very good. This was for an assignment so it had to be done properly but the idea started off stupid. My first thoughts were, a girl lives underground and escapes to a tropical paradise because of some pipes. Then I basically worked that original idea into an actual story

2010-08-11 06:51:00

Author:
SR20DETDOG

Posts: 2431

i do the same thing. but, man! have you ever read the book series the city of ember? if not the atherton series? i swear, the moment i read this it popped right in to my head. lol story writimg is just as good as reading. i usually interpret animals into mine. its my own finishing touch i guess. EX: the lemurs caused sackboy to get lost in my story Far Away From Home. (naughty lemurs)

I read my great grandmother's friend's book, Memoirs of a Dog' its not quite known in the whole country, but it is in Texas lol but now i have no books to read D: i guess ill write one lol

2010-08-11 15:05:00

Author:
LWBear2

Posts: 332

I read my great grandmother's friend's book, Memoirs of a Dog' its not quite known in the whole country, but it is in Texas lol but now i have no books to read D: i guess ill write one lol

No, I haven't read either of those. I prefer to write more than read. I could even list every book I've read in this post, it's not long list.

2010-08-11 23:01:00

Author:
SR20DETDOG

Posts: 2431

awesome. could you write more?
ps i think that the ppl who just veiw the thread are to amazed to type a reply

2010-10-17 10:28:00

Author:
unXpectiD

Posts: 1132

I just noticed 36views 1reply, lol. I wonder how many people saw the length and left

...
*whistle*

2010-10-25 00:47:00

Author:
Prince Pixelton

Posts: 286

First of all, I probably should have checked back on this. But better late than never... I guess.

awesome. could you write more?
ps i think that the ppl who just veiw the thread are to amazed to type a reply
Yes, I can write more and I will write more. I'll be getting back into this story in the next coming weeks. Then it will shine as the glorious god of a story it really is.

aww shucks :blush:

...
*whistle*

:kz:

2010-11-10 10:46:00

Author:
SR20DETDOG

Posts: 2431

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