Archive: 3 posts

---

Prologue The teen stood there quietly. Standing the rain with his hands in his sweatshirt pockets, the rain drizzling down his unprotected head. Cars rushed on the street, water spraying from the wheels. "What are you doing?" a stern voice asked. The teen turned around, quickly pulling his hood over his face. "Are you talking to me?" he innocently said. The owner of the voice was a stout man with a curly mustache and big bubbly eyes. The man pointed a stiff finger at him, the wind almost threw his hat off his head. "What are you doing?" the man asked again. The teen looked off into the distance. "Searching. Now stop bothering me." The man was starting to get angry, "Answer me, young man. The truth." The man tried searching the teen's dark face but it was hidden by the shadows of his hood. "Pull back your hood." The teen smiled slyly. As he pulled back his hood slowly, the old man was starting to get frightened. Small, bright red eyes and blueish blond hair, the teen looked a little bit human. The man started to tremble as the teen suddenly loomed over him. "I'm searching for the Dimension and your coming with me!!" should i continue? please don't be afraid to tell me what's good or bad

2010-07-09 16:46:00 Author: lightningbug1 Posts: 515

---

Great story, I like it, but you need to proofread your writing. [QUOTE=lightningbug1;521398] Standing -in- the rain

2010-07-13 05:18:00 Author: Deviantgeek Posts: 386

---

thankx 4 being honest

2010-07-13 16:22:00 Author: lightningbug1 Posts: 515

Posts: 1077139    Threads: 69970    Members: 9661    Archive-Date: 2019-01-19

Aus dem Archiv wurden alle persönlichen Daten wie Name, Anschrift, Email etc. - aber auch sämtliche Inhalte wie z.B. persönliche Nachrichten - entfernt.
Die Nutzung dieser Webseite erfolgt ohne Speicherung personenbezogener Daten. Es werden keinerlei Cookies, Logs, 3rd-Party-Plugins etc. verwendet.