Archive: 3 posts

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This is a short story i wrote for an english assignment in which i got 97% go me even though i hate english, i hope you guys like ti C&C welcome. A Day to Remember Rain was all you were able to see all around, suddenly a large clap of thunder erupted just above the house. I was really scared; I rushed down to dad who was watching TV in the armchair. ?Dad I?m really scared the thunder is really loud.? I whispered. ?It's alright to be scared Zack, I was scared when I was a boy of you age. Back in the day when the world was at war we needed more than soldiers to keep us safe, the government started doing experiments on making super heroes.? ?I didn?t know the government made the super heroes, I thought they were dropped in toxic waste at birth or dropped on their heads as babies.? ?Ha Ha Hah you have such a big imagination Zack. Right then where was I, that?s right I was just telling you about how the government were experimenting on making super heroes. Well the government?s attempts failed, they decided they needed more help. That night I received a phone call from the government asking me if I could go in and help them with creating their super heroes.? ?The Government asked you to create super people, that is so cool you?re the best Dad in the world.? ?Thank you son but you must stop interrupting me I?m trying to tell a story. Now me and my team of scientists worked for weeks studying strands of DNA and figuring out how to transform the DNA into DNA with super powers. Eventually on day 31 we came up with a brilliant idea, we would make our own DNA instead of trying to mutate the current version of DNA. This idea took a lot of time to make and when we had done it was amazing. It was better than we could have hoped for it gave anyone who wanted a power a power. All you had to do was take the injection then think of what power you wanted and voila you have a power.? ?Dad can I get a power please I want to be a super hero and save the world.? ?I don't think so son its very dangerous being a super hero it takes lots of courage, and strength.? ?I am very brave and I can lift up the cat now.? ?I think you have to be a bit stronger than that son, now let me get back to my story.? ?Ok sorry for interrupting again? ?Don?t worry about it son, now then. The Government put together a team of people to be injected with these synthetic powers, once they had all been given their powers they chose what powers they wanted very wisely. There were five new heroes all together and they all chose powers that would suit their needs. The first hero chose super Strength as he would be fighting on the front line, number two chose Invisibility because he would be infiltrating the enemy base to steal information, number three chose a very special power indeed, he chose to control the elements, Fire, Earth, Water and Air. Hero number four chose to be an expert in all things to do with martial arts including weapon handling, hand to hand combat and even acrobatics. Our last hero decided to go with something other than combat skills he decoded to be a master of all electronics and that he could control machines.? ?Did the heroes get to choose their own names and outfits?? ?Yes they did but I don't know whether I want to tell you what they are.? ?Ahh Please Dad I won?t tell anyone I promise.? ?Oh alright then, Hero number one was called Pummeller, Hero number two was now called Shutter, Hero Number three was now known as Blue Illusion, Hero Number four was known as Jester and lastly Hero Number five was known as Automata. They next chose their costumes, the team colour was green so that had to be their main colour but the second colour they chose was black. I remember watching the heroes come up on a rising platform into the hangar it was an amazing sight it was so beautiful, that is one day I won?t forget very easily.? ?That must have been some sight dad, I wish I was there. When I?m older do you think I might be able to be a super hero?? ?Maybe son but being a super hero requires a lot of effort, you will have to make a lot of hard decisions and there will be a lot of pressure.? ?Thank you for telling me that story Dad this?ll be a day I remember for the rest of my life.? Twenty Years Later! ?Don?t worry Ma?am I?ll get you out of here.? ?Thank you Chrome Knight I wish there is a way I could repay you.? ?Well don't get into this mess again would be a good start.? ?Okay I will try my best.? ?I must go now to my father?s house it is Christmas day you know.? ?Of course you go? I arrived at father?s house just in time for lunch. ?Ahh there you are I was beginning to wonder where you got to Zack?? ?I got held up with a woman trying to jump of the roof of her house.? ?Oh well of course saving lives always comes first.? ?Anyway I remember twenty years ago this very day was the day you told me that super hero?s powers were artificially created.? ?Was it really it seems like it was longer ago.? ?Well I did become what I wanted to, I became a super hero saving lives on a daily basis.? ?It's amazing Zack well done you had your fantasy come true, I am so proud of you.? ?Thank you Dad I?m just proud that you told me that story, I never forgot it I remember every last detail of the Black and Green colour scheme of the heroes and the names, Shutter, Pummeller, Blue Illusion, Jester and Automator.? ?That?s amazing son I can?t even remember what powers they had, I suppose that?s what you get with old age though isn?t it.? ?I guess it is Dad.? ?That reminds me why don't I put the fire on and tell you another story of my young adult hood.? ?That sounds great Dad lets get started.? ?Ok then it was the year 1987, I was living in America????

2010-02-18 09:28:00 Author: lbpholic Posts: 1304

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Just skimmed through (I'll read it properly later) your grammar seems to be...lacking...a bit. But yeah.

2010-02-18 11:07:00 Author: ARD Posts: 4291

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Sorry not being rude or anythign this was my first ever proper english story that got 24/25 96% lol and there where only 4 mistakes according to an english teacher but thanks for your cmments anyway.

2010-02-18 11:52:00 Author: lbpholic Posts: 1304

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