Archive: 5 posts

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A long time ago i posted this and got hardly any response. I would like more response. F4F! Wings of Speed They say that once in everyone?s life something extraordinary happens, something quite peculiar. Jake was a normal boy, aged 14. He never dreamt of the things that would happen to him in the week and a half, the people that would adore him and the media?s flurry of enthusiasm. Jake loved cars, he loved them more than anything else in the world and rumour has it he used to kiss posters of his favourite cars as if to tell them that they meant something to him. He felt he had a strong bond with cars, he certainly did. Jake?s Mum, Karen, knew of his little obsessions and really wanted to do something special for him. The only problem was that her job just covered the mortgage and the bills and his Dad, Mick, was still searching high and low for a job, but to no avail. Jake?s Brother Will, the older of the two, was 18 and couldn?t care less about Jake?s stupid little thoughts. Will detested Jake as he got all the attention in the household ever since he was born; something that was soon to change. One day a man appeared outside Jake?s house. He wasn?t the normal type for a salesman; this guy was tall, lean, well toned and handsome. Jake shouted for his Mum to answer the door as he knew not to answer the door to people he didn?t know. Soon after Karen opened the door she shouted for Jake to come to her. Jake?s suspicions were right about this man, He wasn?t a canvasser. This man looked into Jake?s eyes in a friendly way and said to him softly ?There?s a car waiting here for you Jake. Do you know who I am??. Jake was baffled but then it struck him. Jake watched lots and lots of TV in his bedroom as his mother wouldn?t allow more than 3 hours a day on his Xbox. There was this program Jake liked; it was called ?Breaking Barriers?. It was a record breaking program; quite literally, as the aim of the TV show was to break any record that had been made. It was presented and was the brainchild of a Mr. Karl J Pred?, a middle aged man from east Cameroon who had emigrated as he got abuse as he was white in a black country. Jake was watching ?Breaking Barriers? one day and Karl announced that ?Today is a special day because we are giving away a chance of a lifetime to any boy or girl aged 14 and over!? Jake was already excited. ?We are giving away a chance to be the pilot of the new ?Falcon Ascot V9?. As many of you may know, this is the fastest land vehicle in the world and is also the most expensive at a staggering 19 and a half million pounds!? Jake got the phone. ?To enter you must answer this question! Who is the world champion of the formula 3000 racing league? Enter now!? Jake?s heart was racing, he knew the answer, it was easy to him. Which boy who spends all day and night watching races doesn?t know the answer to a question about who is the world champion of Formula 3000? The answer of course was Vitantonio Liuzzi. Jake dialled the number and gave his answer in about 10 seconds flat. He was told that he?d know in 2 weeks if he had won. ?You?re Karl Pred?, aren?t you?? Jake replied. ?As a matter of fact I am Jake, and can you guess why I am here?? Jake knew why he was here, well hopefully. ?Have I won the competition?? Jake hopefully enquired. ?Well done my boy and guess what, if the car beats the record, you get a million pound sterling for everybody that lives in your house.? Jake was flummoxed by this and asked Karl ?When do we go and can my family come with me?? ?Now Jake, Pack your bags and get your parents and your brother to pack theirs too. You?re all going to Arizona!? A week later, the day before launch day, Jake had a lesson in all he needed to know how to pilot the mega machine of a vehicle that is the ?Falcon Ascot V9?. He was told all about how to control the car, how to stop, how the fail-safes worked and how he?d be absolutely fine as long as he followed what he was taught. Jake?s instructor had told Jake that all the media hype is pointless was the vehicle was definitely going to beat the target, it was so much more powerful that the old contender really had not much chance of keeping its record. The ?Falcon Ascot V9? was a revolutionary vehicle of immense speed. It looked like a fighter jet, accelerated like a space rocket and generally looked like a ?Stealth Bomber?. It was HUGE! There was nothing as fast as this, except for space shuttles of course. Having over twenty thousand BHP was hard to control but Jakes training had taught him everything he needed to know; he was about to rewrite history! Imagine how Jake?s brother felt. All these years he had hated him and now he was about to give him a million pound for all the grief he had given him. Will was a genuinely nice person, he organised a huge party, huger than anything you can imagine. There was all the food you could imagine and endless quantities of thirst quenching cola. Will felt happy with what he had done, so did Jake; He totally understood Will and forgave him for everything. Jake?s Mum was a nervous wreck as Jake climbed into the seat that would crown him in everlasting glory for all time to come. Mick comforted Karen as Jake was being strapped in. Mick, was a trained rocket scientist and knew that this new machine was an amazing feat of human intelligence. Karen stopped her tears and waved to Jake up in the pilot?s seat. ?There goes my boy? Karen thought to herself. The countdown timer fired into life as it had done so many times before. TEN! Jake checks the dials and everything seems fine. NINE! Karen bites into her hand stifling her fear. EIGHT! Jake levels out the ailerons. SEVEN! Mick looks up at Jake with utmost pride. SIX! Jake checks the fail-safes; all fine. FIVE! Will tenses his muscles in anticipation for his brother. FOUR! ?We join the action at 3 seconds to go!? Karl announces to the camera. THREE! Jake gets comfy in his seat. TWO! Jake grabs the steering wheel. ONE! The race crew fire the rockets. GO! Jake pressed the booster ignition and released the brakes. Over the next thirty seconds a record was smashed. The previous land speed record at 763MPH was destroyed by an astonishing speed accomplished by the Falcon. Jake had no way of telling how fast he was going or how fast he had gone as he could not look down for a second. He piloted the vehicle like a master and brought her to a safe stop very far away from the crew. Jake got out of the plane, ripped off his helmet and threw it into the air with joy, Jake just knew he had done it, he didn?t need confirmation, he just knew. He fell to the ground and kissed it with immense feelings of triumph and pride as the crew drove over to him in the trucks. As the trucks pulled closer Jake heard screams. As the trucks got within about 500 meters he heard and saw that these cheers were because he, Jake Grove aged 14 had gone over a thousand miles an hour in a car that was truly astounding. I could tell you of the parties and the media hype over this event but you can guess for yourself. Jake moved from London to America where he and his brother and his parents lived in happiness.

2009-11-09 21:40:00 Author: CreateNPlay Posts: 1266

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Very, very nicely written. I don't see a problem with it. Very simplistic plot, but effecient too. Fantastic!

2009-11-11 05:11:00 Author: Astrosimi Posts: 2046

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Aww thanks astro. I just scraped a C with this.

2009-11-11 11:27:00 Author: CreateNPlay Posts: 1266

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There's nothing really wrong with the writing at all that would warrant a C, I think just the style and the impossibly up-beat nature of it all flummoxed your teacher. I wrote a piece that was happy, got a B, wrote a piece about a guy whose wife died, and he visited the same hospital a year later and had cancer or something, I got an A. I think my teacher loves hating life Anyway, nice story!

2009-11-15 23:52:00 Author: dawesbr Posts: 3280

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Lol, I thought Wings of Speed was about a guy on speed. Great story. Usaully I'm not a fan of those, "One day, this kid went... blah... once upon a time... blah blah... lived happily ever after, the end." stories. But this was actually a good story. Nice job!

2009-11-16 20:02:00 Author: CyberSora Posts: 5551

Posts: 1077139    Threads: 69970    Members: 9661    Archive-Date: 2019-01-19

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