General Stuff #1
I have an extra MAG beta code
Archive: 37 posts
| I have an extra MAG beta code. If you want it, post the funniest joke you can think of. I will choose a winner tomorrow at 9:00 PM Eastern time. Only one post per user. If I find out that you cheated and used alt. accounts you WILL be disqualified. The winner will get the code through a private message. Let the games begin! | 2009-10-31 00:39:00 Author: TheJollyRajah  Posts: 466 |
There's two muffins in an oven. One says, "Boy it's hot in here." Now the other one says, "Oh my God, a talking muffin!"  | 2009-10-31 01:11:00 Author: CyberSora  Posts: 5551 |
| I'm not very good with jokes, but I'm quite fond of anti-jokes. So here it goes: How do you make clown frown? Hit him with an axe. | 2009-10-31 01:50:00 Author: BSprague  Posts: 2325 |
| two hunters are walking thru the woods,after a while they notice they were lost and start to panic...however before they kill themselves one of them remembers a trick he was taught,so..."STOP IT!!!...better...i just remembered that if we shoot into the air someone will see the smoke and come rescue us!" so they shot...and after 30 minutes they shot again...and after 5 more times the other hunter says"i hope we're rescued soon...i'm running out of arrows!" | 2009-10-31 02:14:00 Author: theswweet  Posts: 2468 |
| Two campers are walking through the woods when a huge brown bear suddenly appears in the clearing about 50 feet in front of them. The bear sees the campers and begins to head toward them. The first guys drops his backpack, digs out a pair of sneakers, and frantically begins to put them on. The second guys says, "What are you doing? Sneakers won?t help you outrun that bear." "I don't need to outrun the bear," the first guy says. "I just need to outrun you." | 2009-10-31 02:16:00 Author: Mod5.0  Posts: 1576 |
| i know some certain jokes but can't say them soooo.... Two tomatoes are running, the one in front yells "Ketch-up!" | 2009-10-31 08:49:00 Author: ktang77  Posts: 592 |
| A man walks into a bar and orders a pint of lager, he sits down and a guy next to him says "hey do you want one" he holds out a bag of pork scratch ems and the man says yeah thanks. AND THEN HE GETS HIT BY A BUS THE END. | 2009-10-31 09:06:00 Author: robotiod  Posts: 2662 |
| A classic: A couple of hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: ?My friend is dead! What can I do?? The operator, in a calm soothing voice says: ?Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead.? There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: ?OK, now what?? | 2009-10-31 11:04:00 Author: Syroc Posts: 3193 |
| Why did the chicken cross the road? "EEEEEKKKK! THUMP!" We shall never know... I am awesome at telling jokes  | 2009-10-31 15:38:00 Author: Plasmavore  Posts: 1913 |
| Teacher: How many ducks will stay alive among three sitting in a tree after shooting one. Student: None, all will fly away after hearing the BANG! from the gun. Teacher: No, Ducks don't fly, 2 ducks will remain, but I like your way of thinking. Student: Erm.. ok, can I ask you a question? Teacher:yeah go ahead. Student: Ok, three girls just came out of a ice cream parlour with a ice-cream on their hand, the first girl is Licking the ice-cream, the 2nd girl is Sucking the ice-cream and the third girl is biting the ice-cream. Now tell me, which girl is Married? <!--emo& -->Teacher: The 2nd girl sucking the ice-cream. <!--emo& -->Student: Wrong, the girl with a ring in her hand, but I like you way of thinking. | 2009-10-31 16:11:00 Author: oldage  Posts: 2824 |
| Here's one I actually made up myself: I was in the gardening store earlier, when I saw a thief browsing the shelves. I told him he was ugly. I think he took a fence. As you can tell, I'm all about awful puns (you may have seen some of my posts where I went to town on one particular pun category, eg Ugly Mugs thread about hair) | 2009-10-31 16:16:00 Author: dawesbr  Posts: 3280 |
| Why did the chicken cross the road? TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE LOLOLOLOLOLOL I've been in the MAG beta already for 2 months. Isn't it a bit late to be handing out codes now, I think the beta is ending soon. | 2009-10-31 16:58:00 Author: Arkei  Posts: 1432 |
| At least we still get a chance to play it. It'd mean allot to me if I won. | 2009-10-31 17:01:00 Author: Mod5.0 Posts: 1576 |
| i don't really care about it...just wanted to spread a joke... | 2009-10-31 17:03:00 Author: theswweet Posts: 2468 |
| Guy says to friend: Me and the wife haven't been getting on too well lately so I thought I'd give her a nice surprise and I booked us a 'table for two'. It didn't help though. After an hour she hadn't even potted one effing red !! | 2009-10-31 17:14:00 Author: mistervista  Posts: 2210 |
| mrv: Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it was trying to take one step to the left, but the lag caused it to end up on the other side of the road. | 2009-10-31 17:33:00 Author: dawesbr Posts: 3280 |
| An airline captain was breaking in a new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a layover in another city. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight. The next morning, as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened. She answered the phone, crying, and said she couldn't get out of her room. "You can't get out of your room?" the captain asked, "Why not?" The stewardess replied: "There are only three doors in here," she sobbed, "one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!" aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa | 2009-10-31 19:03:00 Author: applepod124 Posts: 163 |
| A rhino rollerskates into a bar, goes up the wall the other side, along the ciling, back down again, orders a pint, downs it, pays and leaves. A guy says to the bartender, "What was all that about?" The bartender says, "Oh, don't worry, he never says hi to anyone." | 2009-10-31 19:19:00 Author: moleynator  Posts: 2914 |
| A joke you say? The prime minister. Also, a man runs over his wife - who's fault is it? The man's, he shouldn't be driving in the kitchen  | 2009-10-31 21:11:00 Author: Unknown User  |
oh dam, cant remember a joke | 2009-10-31 21:37:00 Author: lifeiscrapislife  Posts: 396 |
| why did the hedgehog cross the road? because he was playing chicken | 2009-10-31 21:39:00 Author: lifeiscrapislife Posts: 396 |
| A panda walks into a bar and orders a burger. After he finished eating it, he pulls out a gun, fires a few shots into the air and makes to walk out the door. The bartender asks him "What the heck was that for?" In reply, the panda holds up a wildlife guide. "I'm a panda," he says. "Look it up." And he walks out. The bartender looks up panda in the guide and this is what it said: Panda-- Black-and-white bear. Eats, shoots and leaves. (It's a punctuation joke) | 2009-10-31 21:47:00 Author: dandygandy2704  Posts: 1002 |
| I get it..... good one | 2009-10-31 21:58:00 Author: KQuinn94Z  Posts: 1758 |
| A man clad entirely in mirrors robs a bank. After he's caught, he asks the police if he can have a moment to pause and reflect. | 2009-11-01 01:15:00 Author: SLS10  Posts: 1129 |
| A panda walks into a bar and orders a burger. After he finished eating it, he pulls out a gun, fires a few shots into the air and makes to walk out the door. The bartender asks him "What the heck was that for?" In reply, the panda holds up a wildlife guide. "I'm a panda," he says. "Look it up." And he walks out. The bartender looks up panda in the guide and this is what it said: Panda-- Black-and-white bear. Eats, shoots and leaves. (It's a punctuation joke) Blatently remembered it after you read my rhino joke. I did when I typed 'leaves'. Also, a dyslexic man walked into a bra. | 2009-11-01 01:28:00 Author: moleynator Posts: 2914 |
| Judgment time? | 2009-11-01 02:03:00 Author: Astrosimi  Posts: 2046 |
| Alright guys, sorry for the delay, I had stuff to do. No hard feelings to the guys who didn't win. I'm not friends with anyone who posted so I had no bias whatsoever. The winner is... dawesbr with his hilarious spin on the old chicken crossing the road joke! It actually made me laugh out loud, literally. You posted twice, but oh well. Lol. You should get your code five minutes after the time of this post, dawesbr! And thanks everyone for posting. I found every single one of these jokes funny! | 2009-11-01 03:25:00 Author: TheJollyRajah Posts: 466 |
| Ah, wow, I'm so happy! ^_^ Totally wasn't expecting to win, I'm setting this up to download while I'm in Oxford, and when the servers are on on Monday you can be sure I'll be having a night-session! | 2009-11-01 09:39:00 Author: dawesbr Posts: 3280 |
| Ah, wow, I'm so happy! ^_^ Totally wasn't expecting to win, I'm setting this up to download while I'm in Oxford, and when the servers are on on Monday you can be sure I'll be having a night-session! EDIT: Oh, ****, invalid code, and I've got to go! Please check again, Rajah! | 2009-11-01 09:43:00 Author: dawesbr Posts: 3280 |
Congratulation Dawes! I guess i'll just have to wait til it comes out.  | 2009-11-01 10:28:00 Author: moleynator Posts: 2914 |
| Man.... I guess I can't win anything..... I probably won't be able to get this game when it comes out soooo..... oh well | 2009-11-01 14:03:00 Author: Mod5.0 Posts: 1576 |
| Ive seen a man falling down a cliff. he says hi! i say hi! hes like how are you! im like falling off a cliff! OMG! he says then we realise that we are both falling off a clif so i start to eat chicken nuggets and get ultra super powers. next thing i know im flying and farting egg omlets. the guy says can i have an egg omlet i say yes i fart and he eats it. OOOOoooooo whats that in the distance i say???? he says oh its just the sun. so i accidently bump into the sun and my wings burn. i fall again this time into a pill of pig poo. the mans like omg this stuff tastes good. i try it and im like Mmmmmmmm lets eat it1 so we eat it all. then we find out it was 4 the pigs so we get chased by them. OH NOES!!!! i say then tom.... the mans name, gets his super duper frying pan and wacks the pigs he get a strike they turn into bacon and we start to eat!!! or how about this joke? what did the lightbuld say to its owner? U TURN me on!!! | 2009-11-01 14:21:00 Author: Tawarf Posts: 457 |
| Tawarf sorry but your to late man.... | 2009-11-01 14:22:00 Author: Mod5.0 Posts: 1576 |
| REALLY?????? awwwwwww but is it good? | 2009-11-01 14:24:00 Author: Tawarf Posts: 457 |
| Thanks for fixing the problem I was having with the code, Rajah, it's downloading right now! I was totally surprised when I won this, but I am so hyped for it when it's finished tomorrow! | 2009-11-02 19:56:00 Author: dawesbr Posts: 3280 |
| Be prepared, because while the game may be 300 MB, you'll have to download over 3 GIGABYTES of updates. | 2009-11-02 23:57:00 Author: Arkei Posts: 1432 |
| Ah, erm, I'd better uninstall some games I don't play but still have the disks. I wish we'd bought an external HD before my brothers went off to uni, now I have to pay the full cost D: | 2009-11-03 09:39:00 Author: dawesbr Posts: 3280 |
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