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Vharley Chapter 1: The Beginning

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Vharley Chapter 1: The BeginningRockSauron
Jack Vharley is a farmboy living with his grandfather, as a war between the Agency and the Kingdom rages... He will soon become wrapped up in a war greater then humanity itself.
all
Well, here it is >_<. My attempt at a level. However, this is actually a level I made a few months ago, I merely retouched it a bit to get ready for making the full series. Meyep, another 14 level long series... I need to think smaller >_<.

Anyway, yeah, have fun... hopefully.. .And, yeah. I'll try to do F4F, and... yep. It is in England, same as before, only I deleted the original level, sooooo... yeah. There it is, ma friends <_>.

Also, thanks to Whaaaale for the burning aspect, which may be the best part of the level, and also Takelow for the LBPC logo at the end. ... Yeah, I figured you wouldn't mind, Takelow, for using that <_>. ... Meyep		2009-07-12 18:29:00

Author:
RockSauron
Posts: 10882

I played this yesterday (and I had played it before when you released it).

Gotta say.... this level has a lot of charm. There's just something about it - the story seems pretty serious, but the character models are SO outlandish and childlike that it creates a great sense of humor. It's a bit like watching teletubbies performing Braveheart.

My only complaint is it could have been longer.

I gave it 4 stars based on these merits. I think this level definately deserves a continued series!		2009-07-13 13:21:00

Author:
CCubbage
Posts: 4430

Yay, glad that my bad character design has charm. Cause, y'know, I only made them so funny looking because I can't make them more serious... >_>

But still, thanks for playing then. You like how I improved Grandpa? He used to just be a Sackboy shape with a piece of sponge attached, but now he was actually semi good.

But yep. I suppose I can go on this series with having funny characters doing serious things. I have a lot more things to happen that make it more serious and all that. So yeah, if I can get by on my bad character designs by making them funny looking so funny people do serious things, better then having it be horrible.

Anyway, my personal favorite part of this was the burning farm... Albeit it kinda made any changes to the farm difficult... And it was made by Whaaale, so thanks.

Also, Takelow, you really should consider giving out that LBPC logo. Not the one for the Game, but the one that just says LittleBigPlanet Central. ... Then again, it could be a prize in LBPC The Game... then again, that's a ways off, so sooner the better I guess :/.

Anyway, I'll just stop my random blathering then. Glad you enjoyed it! Want me to do F4F on StarShip Troopers? ... Albeit it doesn't need it too much <_> But still?		2009-07-13 13:36:00

Author:
RockSauron
Posts: 10882

I played the old version so I will try this out tonight. 2009-07-13 13:54:00

Author:
moleynator
Posts: 2914

I don't quite remember the old grandpa.... but I DEFINATELY think you have something going with the character design combined with the serious story - even if it was a bit by accident. It's something I just haven't seen before, and it's really effective. If you pulled off a long detailed story in this style I think it would be something special. I think a lot of the really experienced creators will get a kick out of it when they play it. I found myself giggling through the whole thing, which is a good thing. Popping a silly looking character and then being labelled as a murderer was great.

You know... I have quite a bit of feedback on my current threads - but I remember a while back you saying you had never played Splat Invaders Saga. I'd love for you to check it out, even without feedback. 6 months later it's still probably my best creation - I was REALLY inspired when working on it.		2009-07-13 14:15:00

Author:
CCubbage
Posts: 4430

Just played this and it was alright. The character designs were kinda "meh" but at least they weren't giant sackboy cutouts (loved the guy with the afro). The story you were trying to tell seems important and like it could be deep, but everything occurs so fast that I didn't really know what was happening. One minute I'm looting through some boxes, and the next I'm told that I should go back to my farm and I see grandpa is dead! After I kill some guys in front of me, I'm labeled a murderer and have to tackle some guys with giant swords. One thing I really like though, was the interior of the cave. It wasn't flat and the lighting changed when the entrance was sealed.

I have a couple suggestions. For your characeters, they were all big. Perhaps a little too big (especially the enemies). When I make an enemy, I find it's easier to make them big, but then shrink them down to normal size. That way, you can get all the detail you want, but then you don't have to worry about foot soldiers towering over someone's sackboy. Another thing I think you should improve on is the pace of the level. Instead of thowing a huge story at us, try spacing things apart and let it slowly build up. For example, instead of having us ride a horse, have us journey on foot to town, and we have to cross through a meadow or the hills or something like that, and have some basic platforming. And when we go to the mayors house, instead of just slaying him, maybe we could break into his house, deal with his lackeys, then we fight him (or just kill him if he's a pansy). And one last thing that I think you could improve on is the speed in which everything is emitted. When we use the bed/meet the store owner, the bubbles come out very slowly and it's impossible to chain them for a combo.

Overall, I think this level has potential, but right now it's not achieving it. I hope I don't sound like I'm trashing your level, I'm just trying to give you suggestions on how to improve it. :star::star::star:

If you could check out Morning Rush and tell me what you think, that'd be swell.		2009-07-13 14:59:00

Author:
RickTheRipper
Posts: 345

I agree with a lot of what ripper said above. The story seems to have a lot of potential, but I'm sometimes distracted by the the simple character and object design - we all can't be artists! If you look at my levels, I don't have any complicated objects because I don't think I'm very good at object/character creation. Generally, if I do make something, I spend a stupid amount of time on it just to make it look good - I hate that others are able to just whip something up out of thin air! I'm sure you know how your level looks compared to some of the levels we get here (glances at mrsupercomputer, morgana, etc), so I won't way much on that topic. Glad to see you are at least creating and not just handing out peanuts. I gave the level 3 stars.2009-07-13 18:58:00

Author:
comphermc
Posts: 5338

That was fun!

Agreed with cute characters in a serious and gloomy story is very amusing. So gets an extra :star: for the humour whether intended or not. I agree that perhaps the characters could be a bit smaller, so it's not Jack and the Bean Stalk if you know what I mean. Giants everywhere!


Not so sure how some people will feel about being forced to kill unarmed people (an eye for an eye and all that, I won't get political), but it's an interesting story anyway.

:star::star::star::star: from me, good job!

Please leave feedback for my co-op level if at all possible. If not check out my totally redesigned Wheel of Doom! 		2009-07-13 20:29:00

Author:
LieutenantFatman
Posts: 465

Not too bad. Sure it isn't the most visually appealing level out there. Sure parts of it seemed as though a five year old created it. Who cares...this level has an interesting story and is full of potential! I say keep on creating so we can see what happens next. Poor Smith and Mayor, getting knocked in the junk causing them to crumble to their deaths...what a terrible way to go.

Oh, and if you would like to F4F one of my levels, they are in my sig.

Keep Creating!!!		2009-07-14 07:48:00

Author:
Spider-Jew
Posts: 1090

I just got done playing the level. I thought the story was great, and I really want to see where it all heads. Popping the characters and then being branded a murderer made me chuckle, as did the character design, which I thought only added to the charm of the level. For quite a serious storyline the characters gave some light relief which was great (intentional or not!!!).

I think the level could have been longer, and a little better paced, some more platforming between sections would have been nice, but I enjoyed the level regardless

****, and please make a part 2, I want to see what happens 		2009-07-14 09:29:00

Author:
GruntosUK
Posts: 1754

Thanks everyone! I know it's kinda silly looking, but, uh...

Anyway, I deleted/republished again, but merely to fix a glitch that gave someone a stupidly high score. anyway, you can play again, or yeah.

... Remind me to play your level Spider Jew D:		2009-07-15 02:24:00

Author:
RockSauron
Posts: 10882

Thanks everyone! I know it's kinda silly looking, but, uh...

Anyway, I deleted/republished again, but merely to fix a glitch that gave someone a stupidly high score. anyway, you can play again, or yeah.

... Remind me to play your level Spider Jew D:

Stupidly high score? I think that was me...my bad 		2009-07-15 02:55:00

Author:
Spider-Jew
Posts: 1090

I played this with Morgana and debo earlier. Really fun, I knocked over grandpa and then felt bad later, because it was the last thing I did before he died we had fun going on a rampage afterwards though and took some time to get real silly in the level, don't pay 'em no mind. I like the story so far, and the ninja (who'da thought?) - he reminds me of Shadow from FF6.2009-07-15 04:40:00

Author:
Unknown User

Played it right now. Well...

As most people said, the story might have its potential, but the level design kinda took the atention. When you go back to the "bar" after gramps is dead, I couldn't understand A THING of what was going on. But I think that, with some dedication, the level can be great.

Tuo stras fo u bra :star::star:		2009-07-15 20:48:00

Author:
Shadowmoser
Posts: 17

Played it last night and the strength is most certainly in your talent as a story teller. It has some really heart tearing and serious moments if you take the time to read all the text. (which I did) I liked what you did with the murder bit. I figured we'd be in trouble for taking out the mayor but then we had to take out a few more people. Caused a moment of real life reflection for me - not the murdering part of course though. It made me think how things can get so out of hand so fast sometimes.

The ninja guy in the cave is mysterious and I noticed the electrified blade thingies (sorry for not knowing exactly what they are called) on his hands. Pretty cool.

Ending is a bit abrupt but since it's a continued series it's not a huge negative.

Overall I'd say people who like story driven levels should check this out as it's got a pretty serious and gripping story so far with potential to explore some other really deep concepts. I gave it 4 stars. Thanks for sharing it!		2009-07-15 21:13:00

Author:
Morgana25
Posts: 5983

I liked the story telling option. Killing off the grandfather in the first scene really drove the issue and did not make the player hate Vharley for knocking off the rest of the townsfolk.

The game play was clean but I did have an issue in two parts.

When you are dragging the cane into the smith shop I got a little frustrated that I had to keep jumping with it in my grasp for about 1-2 minutes, before I could make make it. I would probably angle the ramp coming into the smith's shop so that people can drag it without much overt effort.

I played with 2 people, me and my son. At the very end the angle of the camera made it a little frustrating to climb up the final cliff. Just an opinion here, but you might want to place a camera in the area, showing people how exactly to get up as well as give them a clear view of how to proceed. I'd probably keep out player tracking as well. :star::star::star::star:

If you wouldn't mind taking a shot at my level 'towers of Patheon' and giving me some feedback, I would appreciate it.		2009-07-16 19:53:00

Author:
nartules
Posts: 38

I liked the story telling option. Killing off the grandfather in the first scene really drove the issue and did not make the player hate Vharley for knocking off the rest of the townsfolk.

The game play was clean but I did have an issue in two parts.

When you are dragging the cane into the smith shop I got a little frustrated that I had to keep jumping with it in my grasp for about 1-2 minutes, before I could make make it. I would probably angle the ramp coming into the smith's shop so that people can drag it without much overt effort.

I played with 2 people, me and my son. At the very end the angle of the camera made it a little frustrating to climb up the final cliff. Just an opinion here, but you might want to place a camera in the area, showing people how exactly to get up as well as give them a clear view of how to proceed. I'd probably keep out player tracking as well. :star::star::star::star:

If you wouldn't mind taking a shot at my level 'towers of Patheon' and giving me some feedback, I would appreciate it.

Yeah, the can into the house was tough for me. I assume you were grabbing it by it's handle and not the stick? That's where the trouble came from me...

Anyway, added a death scream, and also got to work on level 2. Not too far yet (Just a short little intro that lasts 5 seconds >_>) But yeah. I started it.		2009-07-17 14:48:00

Author:
RockSauron
Posts: 10882

Just finished playing this and I pretty much agree with all of the comments thus far. The dichotomy between the visuals and the story was a little distracting to me. Once you start killing the people and the dialogue says "What have you done!", the story started to feel really dark, but the world was just so colorful and cartoony. In a way, I think it's cool, but I must admit it was distracting.

I did enjoy the level though (I wished it was a bit longer) and the story was pretty interesting. I'm curious as to what happens next.		2009-07-17 17:44:00

Author:
mrsupercomputer
Posts: 1335

I played this earlier before I showed you the mole.

The jumping with the cane didn't affect me at all because I was prepared from playing the earlier version. The character for the old man is far better now.

However, the level is very short and does not feel very dangerous. The only part that was a little difficult is the bit where you have to jump along all the platform things. Every time I tried to jump across it moved a layer because sackboy always goes for the higher one. This was very annnoying, even though I only had to try 3 times, it did fell very chancey.

One more thing bugged me aswell. The fogginess is a little too much at one point, but that is just my opinion.

The story is very nice though and has intrigued me. The bubbles were also placed interestingly (Like in the box) and I enjoyed trying to find them.

I gave it :star::star::star::star:		2009-07-18 00:25:00

Author:
moleynator
Posts: 2914

I ran into an issue when I took the walking stick back to the smith. A whole load of speech bubbles appeared but when I was reading the second one the rest disappeared. I think I must`ve missed a chuck of the story due to that.

Bubbles disappear when they`re lined up to be read, but not within the view of the previous cutscene.		2009-07-18 01:12:00

Author:
Matt 82
Posts: 1096

This level was great! I loved the story, it's one of the best I've seen, I really felt for the characters a lot more so than usual in a level. I didn't have any trouble bringing the cane back, but there was one thing that bugged me: why bring it back at all? Maybe it's just me, but IMO that part didn't make much sense...
Also, Smith saying "Where are you going?" before I'd even started walking was a bit weird. Might wanna move that magic mouth a bit further along so you actually have to start walking before it activates.
:star::star::star::star:
For my F4F level, click my sig.		2009-07-18 03:25:00

Author:
RadicalStan
Posts: 99

This level was great! I loved the story, it's one of the best I've seen, I really felt for the characters a lot more so than usual in a level. I didn't have any trouble bringing the cane back, but there was one thing that bugged me: why bring it back at all? Maybe it's just me, but IMO that part didn't make much sense...
Also, Smith saying "Where are you going?" before I'd even started walking was a bit weird. Might wanna move that magic mouth a bit further along so you actually have to start walking before it activates.
:star::star::star::star:
For my F4F level, click my sig.

The cane was mainly a gameplay way to make sure you have to go to the farm. See, the burning farm is actually an emited object. So I didn't want to have a complicated series of switches around that emit and whatever, so I have you bring back a cane with a magnetic key attached so you can be forced to go to the farm without much logic. Yep.		2009-07-18 03:36:00

Author:
RockSauron
Posts: 10882


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