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Beware the Jabberwock

Archive: 52 posts

I would really appreciate getting some plays/opinions on my latest level...

Creation Title: Beware the Jabberwock
Author's PSN: Elvenbane
Brief Description: Scenic romp through a level inspired by Lewis Carroll's poem.

I wanted to make a level anyone could enjoy/finish, so the visuals were very important. I also wanted to provide some challenge/replayabilty so there are hidden score bubbles throughout the level. An over-view map at the end provides location hints on what you missed. Did I succeed?!?

I always play at least 1 level of anyone that leaves feedback on my levels...		2009-07-04 17:37:00

Author:
fullofwin
Posts: 1214

I always play at least 1 level of anyone that leaves feedback on my levels...

You may want to look into the F4F (feedback for feedback) feature we have here. There is a thread about it that can be found here: Feedback for Feedback (https://lbpcentral.lbp-hub.com/index.php?t=t=7962).

I will take a look at your level later. Also the motives of your level remind me of the Snow Queen Trilogy, by IceMaiden. You should check them out .		2009-07-04 18:16:00

Author:
comphermc
Posts: 5338

Sounds cool - I'll put it on my list of things to play - I'll get back to you 2009-07-04 20:33:00

Author:
Morgana25
Posts: 5983

I played it, and one thing I can say is that you have a knack for designing props. The objects you make look great! The pace of this level was slow, but I feel like this is what you are going for. I only managed to find one measly secret bubble, ha ha. I didn't know they were that hidden. I really like the idea of a map at the end which shows how many bubbles you found and where they are all hidden. It looked really nice, and it was a great touch to the level.

On the flipside, I had problems with how dark it was in certain places. I have an lcd tv, so the glare is not that bad during the day, and I was still having trouble seeing things in the dark areas. I would suggest brightening up the global lighting tool or to try to put in some of your own lighting in to brighten it up (I recommend the second option). You have a talent for creating things in LBP, and I was disappointed that I couldn't see them all that well.

Coincidentally, I stumbled across your golf challenge entry level yesterday, and loved it. The models, the atmosphere, the dialogue - they were all very well done. I didn't realize that were the same person until I searched for this level. I gave it 5 stars and a heart. Was the level selected?

Let me know if you make changes to the lighting and I will give it another play. As it stands, I gave it :star::star::star::star: and a cute tag.		2009-07-04 22:16:00

Author:
comphermc
Posts: 5338

Aww, it's an actual Jabberwock. I thought it was my home-boys (Jabbawockeez!!).2009-07-04 22:27:00

Author:
Outlaw-Jack
Posts: 5757

comphermc - Thanks for the helpful comments. The lighting was a big concern, I have a DLP and it is very bright...I didn't know how it would look on another tv. I'll try adding some lights (or I may just be able to crank up the ones I have...there are a lot there already, just very dim). There's not a lot of detail in the dark areas...I was saving thermo space by making it dark and creating black silhouettes only.

I'm happy you found at least 1 secret...I did want a challenge so you'd spend time looking around, grabbing things, etc. I'm glad you liked my map.

My golf level was picked actually, thanks for your support! I uploaded a picture to the level wearing the crown today! I'll be sure to check out your levels in a bit.

Morgana25 - Just played the Chroma Stone series and left feedback. Loved them all, a really great set of levels. My only suggestion would be add a prox sensor to one-shot your speech bubbles so you don't block your great characters with the triangle symbol. The player can walk a short distance away and come back to re-read if they need to...anyway, that's my preference. The initial Chroma Stone title over the bridge in the beginning of each level looks really cool with the floating lights, etc. Nice work.

Attached is an image from the start of my level (I hope...using PS3)...		2009-07-05 00:00:00

Author:
fullofwin
Posts: 1214

Played through it twice tonight and really enjoyed myself a lot! First off, great subject material. I love the poem already so half the battle was won. The strength of this level is your ability to make memroable and quirky characters. Some great design work here. The horse, lizard critters, birds, pigs and the Jabberwork himself is top notch. Great attention to detail and unique material usage on them and in other areas of the level too. One thing that did stand out though - you have amazing characters and then there's the MM doll. It's such a minor nit pick but when you have these great characters around then you run into the doll it's a bit of a letdown. I'd love to see another original design for the father figure.

The lighting is dark but I too have a DLP and it looked really good on my set. The only real ligting problem I had was when the ligtining strikes. I get what your going for there and to a degree it works but the sudden shift was hard on the eyes and disorienting. I fell into the gas a few times before I got the timing right to not jump when the color mode changed.

The landscapes are top notch too. Loved the farm set up and the bog area is cool. Nice use of decorations and the cat tails are lovely. The cave is also really well done. Excellent use of decorations in there too. I love the unicorn horn and the bolts. Genius use for those.

The actual axe used is a cool idea but I wasn't sure if I had to bring it with me. Just a bit confusing but I don't know how to fix it.

Awesome map at the end too. Wonderful idea.

Gave it 5 stars & hearted! Thanks for sharing it!		2009-07-05 04:43:00

Author:
Morgana25
Posts: 5983

Morgana25 - Thanks for the comments (and the picture you uploaded to the level)! Funny that you mentioned the doll, it was really a placeholder, it just so happens that I replaced it about 20 minutes ago. Getting rid of the doll and hat frees up an entire bar of the thermometer as well...so I've got more room for tweaks if I can think of how to address the other points you've made. Judging by your score you did pretty well with finding the score bubbles too!

comphermc - I played with the lighting a bit. The cave should be significantly brighter...I also back-lit the entire bat section with a blue spot. The hill/forest is also a little better lit now...wanted it to stay fairly dark so the prox sensors for the critter eyes aren't too visible. But I made the global setting less dark and also turned up the 7 dark blue spots a tad.

btw: For the secrets, some are simply hidden areas, but for most you have to do something, ex. hay is for horses...

And thanks you two, this is exactly the sort of feedback I was looking for!		2009-07-05 05:42:00

Author:
fullofwin
Posts: 1214

You sir, know how to make a good looking level!!

I played through this a couple of hours ago with Morgana an Coxy and I really enjoyed this one!!

* You have a talent for character design and using various decorations in new ways.
A big grin formed itself when I saw you used switches as characters in the forest....SWITCHES!! And it looked absolutely brilliant on top of that!!
The enviroments, the secrets, it's all top notch!!

You used a lot of things out of context and made it work, that is what stands out for me!!

* You tell the Jabberwocky story well and in a very fun way.

* The map at the end...a little stroke of genius!!

I enjoyed the heck out of this level, I wasn't the host so I still have to go back and give it my own score.

But you can be sure that it will get :star::star::star::star::star:, a heart and a brilliant tag.

Very well done, fullofwin!!

PS: Is this an entry for the sackcast competition?		2009-07-05 14:55:00

Author:
Zwollie
Posts: 2173

Ah, I was playing this with Zwollie and Morgana ealier this morning and was blown away with the decoration and detail of the level.

Pros:
+ The great use of decorations for things you wouldn't expect
+ All the hidden things
+ Character design is brilliant
+ The map at the end, nearly guarentees a replay
+ Nearly everything else was great

Cons:
- The section with the lightening really hurt my eyes

Easily a five star level and a heart 		2009-07-05 16:17:00

Author:
Coxy224
Posts: 2645

ZWollie/Coxy224 - Thanks a lot! I'm really happy that you liked the level. I need to give some serious thought to the lightening...the problem is I kinda like it. I think I did find an easy solution to the axe confusion. A piece of dissolve is glued to the handle for you to grab, once you trigger the event, I now dissolve it, so you drop the axe and can no longer pick it up. This should make it clear you don't need to bring it along...

ZWollie - I pretty much built this level around the camp fire and the sensor eyes in the forest; I'm glad you liked how it turned out...the sensor is designed to act like eyes, so it seemed like such a natural/easy way to get the effect I wanted. My only other objective was to use some of the cool stuff from the monster pack dlc, so no, this isn't for the sackcast contest. I was actually a little annoyed when I found out there would be a bunch of other Jabberwocky levels!

Coxy224 - I really hope the map does get people to replay the level. Winning a crown was nice, but I'd trade it in a heartbeat to be in the top 10 pages of cool levels for a week! I'm very envious of the levels with thousands of plays...		2009-07-05 16:50:00

Author:
fullofwin
Posts: 1214

UPDATE: I found a lightning setting I liked better, less bright and with a bluish color correction. Should put less strain on the eyes...and now the bolts show up really well. If anyone replays let me know if you think it's an improvement. Thanks.2009-07-05 18:22:00

Author:
fullofwin
Posts: 1214

You should submit this for sackcast..... REALLY you should.


EDIT: Found all the secrets but three.... Must play again!		2009-07-05 21:07:00

Author:
Morgana25
Posts: 5983

Great level! How did you make the lava? It looks amazing!2009-07-06 15:54:00

Author:
Matt 82
Posts: 1096

Great level! How did you make the lava? It looks amazing!

It's glitched material that (according to silverleon) you can't recreate anymore. They fixed that bug!!

I thought fullofwin used it very well in this level,
that was also the first time I got interested in the glitched material. Seems I was too late.		2009-07-06 15:57:00

Author:
Zwollie
Posts: 2173

Morgana25 - Only 3 to go, impressive! I wonder which ones you're missing? I'm betting the pigs is one...I really think I need to give the player some sort of clue on that one. If you get them all be sure to upload a pic to the level standing in front of the map!

Matt 82/Zwollie - You can search for "glitch lava" or something like that...there's a copyable level that has the material, you can resize, cut, and use the corner tool on it. I think it's still possible to create this one...it's created by tearing apart one of the story items. I actually don't like this part of my level...I think I could do something more interesting with this material.

* I recently added a windmill...just more pointless detail, I had to have one after playing jump_button's excellent balloon level!		2009-07-06 16:14:00

Author:
fullofwin
Posts: 1214

I have a solid chunk of the stuff but can't edit the shapes. The one you mention is editable?2009-07-06 17:01:00

Author:
Morgana25
Posts: 5983

I played it again today, and am still torn about the darkness of the cave. Granted, I am playing during the day (hence, glare on the tv), but I can't really see what's going on in the cave. I pretty much just run blindly to the right. I really don't think it needs to be that dark to achieve the feeling of it being in a cave, but that's just me.

I did see the windmill. 		2009-07-06 17:39:00

Author:
comphermc
Posts: 5338

Matt 82/Zwollie - You can search for "glitch lava" or something like that...there's a copyable level that has the material, you can resize, cut, and use the corner tool on it. I think it's still possible to create this one...it's created by tearing apart one of the story items. I actually don't like this part of my level...I think I could do something more interesting with this material.


Thanks, fullofwin!! I'll look it up.

Well, let me just say that you have put the material to very good use.
I have not seen it used that well before.		2009-07-06 17:43:00

Author:
Zwollie
Posts: 2173

I had a look and found a tutorial, but I don`t seem to have the creature that it comes from.

If you play Meerkat Bounce, after a while you`ll have a plant that comes along and coughs out a burning ember. Well, you take that ember and seperate it from the plant. de-flame it and you get that material.

But I can`t find that plant in my poppit 		2009-07-06 17:52:00

Author:
Matt 82
Posts: 1096

Morgana25 - Yes, I can edit the block I have. If I remember I couldn't use the corner edit tool on it originally, but after I changed its thickness I could. I thought I saw this material used on Chroma Stone level 2, was I wrong?

Matt 82 - I just assumed I had the creature since I have 100% items...I didn't check and it looked familiar, seemed like a pain to extract the material...and the level was copy able so I just grabbed the material then deleted the level.

comphermc - I agree a cave doesn't normally need to be that dark...I'm trying to hide the silver tabs on the prox sensors used for the bat eyes...they really bug me. I probably should have used LED lights instead and been able to make areas brighter..but I'm surprised it's still too dark...there's a lot of purple spots in the cave. Play at night? 		2009-07-06 18:10:00

Author:
fullofwin
Posts: 1214

I eventually found it after looking for ages. Dunno why I couldn`t see it. 'Hanging snapping claw' in the dangerous creatures section.

Yeah the level I found wasn`t copyable. He wouldn`t give it away and was only 'taking requests' to shape it which I felt was a bit much. What some people will do to be centre of attention.		2009-07-06 18:20:00

Author:
Matt 82
Posts: 1096

yea I used it but I couldn't modify the shape so I have a circle and a block of it but that's all. I used the circle on the checkpoints in CS2 and for the eyes of the bird in CS4. I'll have to go play with it to see if I can change it's shape. Thanks for the tip!2009-07-06 18:30:00

Author:
Morgana25
Posts: 5983

I'll either try it at night, or turn the gamma up on my TV and let you know. I was concerned about the prox switch eyes if you turned up the light, so I get you there.2009-07-06 18:31:00

Author:
comphermc
Posts: 5338

Matt 82/Morgana25 - This is the level I used:

PSN: hippy1995
Level: Glitch Magma material + tutorial

HTH		2009-07-06 19:39:00

Author:
fullofwin
Posts: 1214

Alright, I played with the gamma turned all the way up - it helped a lot. I still love the level, and the eyes from the prox switches look awesome as you run by. This time, I managed to get 7 secrets and snatch the #3 spot. I don't have any idea how to get the other ones... (even after consulting the map)2009-07-06 19:43:00

Author:
comphermc
Posts: 5338

comphermc - Thanks for retrying the level! I think *most* of the secrets could be found by persistence/trial and error (Morgana25 has 11...and someone else told me they found 12!), but at least a few are pretty random. I may try adding more subtle audio/visual clues...don't want it too easy. I'm not completely evil, all the lights are actually hooked up to a trigger you can activate! 2009-07-06 20:03:00

Author:
fullofwin
Posts: 1214

One thing with the secrets. The radius to set them off is pretty small it seemed to me. If you think you know where a secret is really move around the area or interact with it. Eventually it trips off the secret. Some are really easy when you know what to look for for others will blow your mind when you find them. 2009-07-06 20:15:00

Author:
Morgana25
Posts: 5983

Is this in response to the sackcast contest?2009-07-06 20:19:00

Author:
Final Recall
Posts: 39

Is this in response to the sackcast contest?

Nope, unfortunate coincidence...		2009-07-06 21:52:00

Author:
fullofwin
Posts: 1214

I added a few things to help with finding a couple of the secrets. Hopefully they'll catch people's eye so they'll investigate further...it's still not going to be easy to find them all. I think the level may have also grabbed a spot on cool levels! It was on page 7 when I got home from work...hopefully it sticks! If it does I credit LBP Central for giving it a bump in plays!2009-07-07 03:38:00

Author:
fullofwin
Posts: 1214

Played this just now. Very cool aesthetics and animal designs... the horse is familiar. A very unorthodox design, and alot of humor and almost artistic sense of humorous imagery, that reminded me of a storybook... and unlike alot of fantasy themed adventure levels with an emphasis on off-kilter terrain, it ran at a very playable and fluid pace, was very long, and was totally open for just plain running and platforming in multiplayer. I like the style of narration, it was different, and interesting. We ran into a problem at the end though... the remaining party member crossed the scoreboard, but couldn't finish since we didn't spawn. He popped himself and then just respawned into the scoereboard and kept dying. I think you have something covering it, and probably didn't notice since it was tested mostly solo.

A memorable standout, level.		2009-07-07 04:16:00

Author:
Unknown User

I was able to repro the scoreboard glitch with the 2nd controller! Very weird...I think the easy solution will be to add a checkpoint...which is a good idea anyway so people can all check the map...that way I don't have to change the scoreboard. Thanks for the info!2009-07-07 04:36:00

Author:
fullofwin
Posts: 1214

I loved your level. It combined great visuals with a lot of humour and good story telling (if you can say that about a poem...). I was impressed with the variety you managed to pack into the level: farm, bog, cliff top eyrie, battlements, and each area had such lovely details like the switch eyes and horn stalagmites which others have mentioned.

The level didn?t only look good, however. I was really hooked by the challenge of finding all the secret bubble areas. Your map at the end is such a great idea as it is a huge incentive to go back and try again (and shows just how much you missed first time through!). Very clever.

All in all one of the most original levels I've played on LBP. Definitely 5 stars and a heart.


BTW I think I've found all the secret areas! Yeay!
But I can't beat your score...I just keep fluffing the combos! 		2009-07-08 01:16:00

Author:
shropshirelass
Posts: 1455

To my knowledge you're only the 2nd person to find them all, I just sent you a message of congratulations before checking here! My score may be tough to beat...I have an un-fair advantage.
At this point I can almost run through with my eyes closed...not sure if it's the max possible score though...

Anyone that plays/replays the level now will get to check out the new end battle sequence, I hope folks think it works better, was rather anti-climatic before. I probably need to leave the level alone now, my profile is REALLY full and I've got nothing left to delete but my other levels...wah! 		2009-07-08 03:27:00

Author:
fullofwin
Posts: 1214

I see how this works... you tease us with the initial level, and then add bits a pieces, making us come back for more. At this rate, I'll have played it a dozen times by next week...

Not that I'm complaining.		2009-07-08 03:45:00

Author:
comphermc
Posts: 5338

Haha! I just made it up to number four on high scores. I beat you, Comphermc!2009-07-08 05:25:00

Author:
iiiijujube
Posts: 594

Found all the secrets but 1 - uploaded a pic for you too. I just can't seem to figure out the one by the windmill.2009-07-08 07:23:00

Author:
Morgana25
Posts: 5983

^yeah, all but one. I replayed this again today with Morgana, and saw how much depth and nuance was in the level. I really feel alot more positive about this level than before, and I already liked it to begin with. It's a totally unique and original vibe, look, and playstyle. I can't think of any level quite like this, and the balance of artistic detail and playable simplicity is amazing.2009-07-08 10:19:00

Author:
Unknown User

Haha! I just made it up to number four on high scores. I beat you, Comphermc!

I'm gonna getcha!

Edit: I did just that. You are now in the fifth spot! (and I have the forth)

I managed to find all but 3 of the secrets, but I screwed up the combo on one of them. The windmill one is driving me nuts. It seems like it's related to the pig/boar thing, but he can only move so far in either direction. I see a ledge, but I just can't get to it.

I missed the one in the bat area, and the one with the chickens.		2009-07-08 13:15:00

Author:
comphermc
Posts: 5338

Morgana25/NinjaMicWZ - Sounds like you need the strategy guide...complete walkthrough with all secrets revealed, interview with the level creator, and jabberwocky sack-person costume tutorial; a real bargain at 14.95! But seriously, that one's tough, I feel like a real swine for adding it... There is an audio clue if you're on the right track, but it's difficult to hear with all the other noises in the area (I wish there was a volume control for sounds)...and it's easy to overlook a step...2009-07-08 16:02:00

Author:
fullofwin
Posts: 1214

That's not much of a hint! I know it's related to the swine, but I don't know what to do with it. Grabbing it causes him to shoot out snot, but I don't think that's what you have to do...

You posted right as I was editing, hence the quick response.

Edit: found the other two, so now I'm only missing the windmill one. I'm pretty sure I know what you want us to do, but the swine gets caught on something invisible. Are you sure it's still working? I nabbed 3rd place.

Also, I like what you've done with the little boss fight - it's more climactic.		2009-07-08 16:03:00

Author:
comphermc
Posts: 5338

Grabbing it causes him to shoot out snot

Ha ha, I thought the snot was funny, you'd think I was 5!


That's not much of a hint!

Have to be fair to those that already found them all! If you don't go whole hog you probably won't find the secret, and you won't be hog wild about this puzzle when you do...you'll probably even think it's hogwash!


swine gets caught on something invisible

I have a piece of dark matter to guide you around the front of the pig...I used to get stuck under it. I should probably glue that pig down so he can't move! I wonder what you think the solution is...it's probably much better than the real one...maybe I should change it?

* Thanks for the feedback on the ending!		2009-07-08 16:30:00

Author:
fullofwin
Posts: 1214

Hi . I've played your level and here is my feedback

Pros :

Great design, especially the buildings at the start.

Good use of stickers.

Nicely made objects and characters.

Cons :

Kept saying something about a sword but the weapon in the level was an axe.

Way too dark in places.

I got stuck in the dark cave when I got the bubbles. It was so dark it was just impossible to see anything at all and no matter how much I jumped around I couldn't get out again and had to use try again.

Secrets too hard to find. I think I got about 3 and I grabbed everything I saw and jumped to every platform I could see.

Although the map is a great idea it's not much use at the end or if you haven't got a photographic memory.

Overall :

Beautiful to look at where it was light but impossible to see anything where it was dark. I really really hate levels or areas of levels that are pitch black. If I can't see a thing how can I play it properly?		2009-07-08 17:04:00

Author:
mistervista
Posts: 2210

I was able to get the swine secret, but I'm not sure what triggered it. I was just jumping around being nuts-o, and it eventually made the sound and spit out bubbles.

*Actually this same method is used every time I try to get the secret with the "sounds" in the cavern.

I don't know the pattern for both of these things.		2009-07-08 19:54:00

Author:
comphermc
Posts: 5338

I was able to get the swine secret, but I'm not sure what triggered it. I was just jumping around being nuts-o, and it eventually made the sound and spit out bubbles.

*Actually this same method is used every time I try to get the secret with the "sounds" in the cavern.

I don't know the pattern for both of these things.
That's why it's a secret! (ba-doon-cha)

I'm gonna check this one out tonight - sounds interesting!

I thought there was a "y" on the end of the story (Jabberwocky). Hmmm.		2009-07-08 20:41:00

Author:
CCubbage
Posts: 4430

Ok, I played this, and as usual I'm going to try to give feedback in the most appropriate way I can think of:

Thee glibel dost beaufooskepy and clibble.

Twas flicklish how I flumbered upon the shhhhhtoops.
I glammered about the ruble and the shwoosh kabibbled - I know not why???....

The Jabberwock was intweebed. But I explicate that in a glibel about a snoozifestification.....

5 happnees and a ribbleboom says I.


Translation key:

glibel - level
beaufooskepy - pretty
clibble - stylish
flicklish - vague
flumbered - stumbled
shhhhhtoops - secrets that when found don't appear
glammered - hopped around like a nut
ruble - an area
shwoosh - a sound signifying something has happened
kabibbled - occurred (or to occur)
Jabberwock - the boss
intweebed - incredibly easy
snoozifestification - poem from a famous author
explicate - expect
happnee - star
ribbleboom - heart		2009-07-08 22:20:00

Author:
CCubbage
Posts: 4430

How do you follow that??????

Well here is my humble review.

The scenery was beautiful and the creatures were well crafted, loved the big cat.
The atmospheric changes and sounds effects were superb.
Fantastic visuals throughout.
The scoreboard was genius.

What a wonderful idea to create a level around a poem.

Brillliant work fullofwin

Icey		2009-07-10 10:08:00

Author:
IceMaiden
Posts: 1057

What a wonderful idea to create a level around a poem.Icey

Thanks, I'm happy you liked it...that means a lot coming from someone who has created the masterpieces you have! Unfortunately sackcast had the same idea and announced a contest to create a Jabberwocky level, bad luck/timing on my part I guess. I don't know the contest details...but according to some feedback I've gotten my level has a good chance...haha! One consolation is that I couldn't find many entries...I'm still tempted to put "NOT FOR SACKCAST" in my level description...

CCubbage - Got a kick out of your review...even if I can't tell if you liked the level or not! 		2009-07-10 14:47:00

Author:
fullofwin
Posts: 1214

Translate the last part - I gave it 5 stars and a heart (5 happnees and a ribbleboom says I). Absolutely LOVED it (actually, this is one of my favorite poems and I really enjoyed seeing it put to a video game).

I would have gone into more detail, but it was hard to write too much while emulating gibberish poetry.		2009-07-10 16:30:00

Author:
CCubbage
Posts: 4430

Very nice looking level, your use of the Decorations was awesome. The ending was great and funny and loved how you decorated the scoreboard. Also, although it was kinda hard to read, the map at the end was AWESOME. Good idea there that adds some replayablity. Good job!2009-07-12 08:21:00

Author:
brnxblze
Posts: 1318

This was a such a charming, beautiful, poetic, artistic level. The most creative use of the monsters pack ive seen. The secret bubble hunting element was a nice touch. Great work!2009-07-12 20:38:00

Author:
antman
Posts: 84


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