Archive: 16 posts

---

Yeah, I wrote this April Fool's Day. In an interview with IGN today, Hideo Kojima, famous creator of the Metal Gear Solid franchise, announced that Metal Gear Solid 5 will only be a timed exclusive for the PS3 before coming to the Xbox 360 and PC. "After the 360 owners expressing their desire for the game, we decided that [Metal Gear Solid 5] should be multiplatform," said the legendary creator. "We felt that with the way that the Metal Gear Solid series will go, it would only make sense to expand our audience." When asked whether or not Metal Gear Solid 4 will ever hit the 360, Hideo had this to say. "I'm not making any promises, but it could certainly happen. If we see a big enough demand for it, it will happen." Kojima continued to say "We know that PS3 fanboys will be angry, but they know not the wrath of Torziak, son of Satan and god of despair. He preys upon innocent villagers and shoots papayas from his might belly button. Hit tail is as sharp as a snake's tongue and he likes to rip out the ****s of men and make them eat it. So when presented with this threat, and the possibility of defeating Torziak by forcing Hell to freeze over, the best choice for Metal Gear and for Tokyo was to go multiplatform." Hideo Kojima is a 3000 foot reptile with two Gatling gunners on his mighty back. At the beginning of time he stole the Lokmar from Torziak and sealed him off into the pits of hell, but Torziak lingered on, his wretchedness absorbed by the Earth and released at random intervals. He planted all the grass in the world by eating nearby asteroids and shooting them through his finger nails. When he had his first dragon, evil knights slaughtered the dragon to get the treasure it was sleeping on. (Dragons always sleep on piles of treasure.) Hideo Kojima has always hated these killers, but once he traveled through time with his amulet of power and discovered the ancestors of the dragon murderers were Xbox owners, he swore to make games and have them exclusive to the PS3. However, Torziak escaped his prison and is now haunting the earth, the earthquake caused by his ski trip crashed the stock market. In order to defeat Torziak, Hideo had to freeze Hell. In order to do this, he must release MGS5 on the Xbox. Good luck, Hideo, and godspeed. I got a lot of rep that day, all with the comment "Lol Torziak" and stuff but a lot of haters, too. Dat's ign'ant, dawg. Fo' sho'. I tried to make the beginning believable. Then, all hell breaks loose.

2009-04-12 05:16:00 Author: qrtda235566 Posts: 3664

---

Lol, where did you post this?

2009-04-12 06:46:00 Author: Kog Posts: 2358

---

PS3forums.com and PS3trophies.com

2009-04-12 15:10:00 Author: qrtda235566 Posts: 3664

---

Lol, that was pretty good. The only people who would have commented bad wouldn't have a sense of humour.

2009-04-12 15:54:00 Author: S-A-S--G-U-N-R Posts: 1606

---

A lot of people believed it, too. Just read the beginning and that's it.

2009-04-12 15:55:00 Author: qrtda235566 Posts: 3664

---

You're a liar Hideo kojima is not a 3,000 foot reptile, he's a 5,000 foot reptile

2009-04-12 16:23:00 Author: Don Vhalt Posts: 2270

---

I don't believe this. This is absolutely and utterly ridiculous, the most utter rubbish I've read in ages. How can he be 3000 feet exactly on the dot?!

2009-04-15 21:18:00 Author: dawesbr Posts: 3280

---

I know it's stupid, he's grown since that old article. He's 4721 feet now, and Don Vhalt, you're reading from Wikipedia, you know that anyone can edit that right?

2009-04-15 21:22:00 Author: S-A-S--G-U-N-R Posts: 1606

---

LOL n00bs... He is actually 4721 ft 6"... I read it on his facebook.

2009-04-15 21:38:00 Author: moleynator Posts: 2914

---

Oh, well soooorryyy for only looking at the latest update from 30 minutes ago.

2009-04-15 21:53:00 Author: S-A-S--G-U-N-R Posts: 1606

---

It twas indeed rather awesome thang =D

2009-04-15 21:56:00 Author: RockSauron Posts: 10882

---

Oh my God that's hilarious! xD xD

2009-04-15 21:58:00 Author: KoRnDawwg Posts: 1424

---

I just wanted to revive this to say this: "I called it."

2010-03-20 22:27:00 Author: qrtda235566 Posts: 3664

---

awesome as expected from awesomemans

2010-03-20 23:35:00 Author: Yarbone Posts: 3036

---

Lol i liked this very funny well done.

2010-03-22 19:22:00 Author: lbpholic Posts: 1304

---

Locnar. Unless you're not referring to the crazy green orb of Heavy Metal.... Lol at people believing it xD

2010-03-22 20:10:00 Author: Loius Posts: 342

Posts: 1077139    Threads: 69970    Members: 9661    Archive-Date: 2019-01-19

Aus dem Archiv wurden alle persönlichen Daten wie Name, Anschrift, Email etc. - aber auch sämtliche Inhalte wie z.B. persönliche Nachrichten - entfernt.
Die Nutzung dieser Webseite erfolgt ohne Speicherung personenbezogener Daten. Es werden keinerlei Cookies, Logs, 3rd-Party-Plugins etc. verwendet.