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The Mirage - A short poem.

Archive: 5 posts


The Mirage
One day I followed something down a street,
A pretty mirage that would guide my tired feet.
What it was, I didn't know,
But when it spoke, it spoke so low,
Of life's beauty, love, and ways to go.

For a while, I continued to follow the soul,
Soon to find it's dark, melancholic hole.
A mirage it was, beaten by life's test,
It looked away at what could be it's best.
However, I knew what could be done,
Make it so the mirage never would have to run.

Today, I understand now why it ran,
How it spoke of depression and death back then.
It was but the shadow of someone, cast by corruption,
Their hateful words bellowed out like an erruption.
I knew that in a time before now, they were like me,
I want to help them restore themselves, now that I see.


I wish I spent a little more time on it, since it was typed as it came to mind. Some constructive criticism and feedback would be nice.
2009-04-12 02:26:00

Author:
Xenifus
Posts: 306


That was amazing and emotional 2009-04-12 06:43:00

Author:
Kog
Posts: 2358


Yeah, I wrote it based off a recent event I had.2009-04-12 16:51:00

Author:
Xenifus
Posts: 306


I don't like the word Melancholic, if that's even a word. But it was amazing otherwise. That's just my own personal preference.2009-04-17 20:33:00

Author:
Echonian
Posts: 279


Very good. I have no idea what it's about but I'm not usually that good at understanding poems like this. Great work though.2009-04-17 20:49:00

Author:
olit123
Posts: 1341


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