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The Mirage - A short poem.
Archive: 5 posts
The Mirage One day I followed something down a street, A pretty mirage that would guide my tired feet. What it was, I didn't know, But when it spoke, it spoke so low, Of life's beauty, love, and ways to go. For a while, I continued to follow the soul, Soon to find it's dark, melancholic hole. A mirage it was, beaten by life's test, It looked away at what could be it's best. However, I knew what could be done, Make it so the mirage never would have to run. Today, I understand now why it ran, How it spoke of depression and death back then. It was but the shadow of someone, cast by corruption, Their hateful words bellowed out like an erruption. I knew that in a time before now, they were like me, I want to help them restore themselves, now that I see. I wish I spent a little more time on it, since it was typed as it came to mind. Some constructive criticism and feedback would be nice. | 2009-04-12 02:26:00 Author: Xenifus Posts: 306 |
That was amazing and emotional | 2009-04-12 06:43:00 Author: Kog Posts: 2358 |
Yeah, I wrote it based off a recent event I had. | 2009-04-12 16:51:00 Author: Xenifus Posts: 306 |
I don't like the word Melancholic, if that's even a word. But it was amazing otherwise. That's just my own personal preference. | 2009-04-17 20:33:00 Author: Echonian Posts: 279 |
Very good. I have no idea what it's about but I'm not usually that good at understanding poems like this. Great work though. | 2009-04-17 20:49:00 Author: olit123 Posts: 1341 |
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